The Thing About Island People…

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No matter what…

Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai….The People of The Water….I say a whole lot about us, and the one thing that I say the very most is that we are, the very all of us, ohana – we are family, no matter what.

This photo was taken by a lady named Patty. The people in this photo are some of the people who I spend a lot of time with at school.

While it remains that we are not tied together by much else than a common knowledge about who we are as those people who hail from other places, be it anciently or even right now, where we only know each otherʻs names, the thing that is constant, the thing that is …forever…is family.

These people are my family. They know a whole lot about me.

To them I am not just a fellow schoolmate.

To them, I Am Auntie Rox, and indeed, we are a huge family. These are other mothersʻ children, from all over the world, who hail from other places in the water, other places which have been described as being …Pacific

No matter who says what, me and these beautiful people in this photo with me…we are ohana.

I completely love these people….every single one of them.

And every single one of them knows it. There are more of them, and all of them also know, very dearly well that Auntie loves you – all of you, and mahalo for all that you have done for me, for our shared cultures, for every moment under the sun with you all, not only as people who attend the same school, but, for people who have been taught, who have learned very well who they are in terms of where it is that we each and all anciently came from.

We are family. These beautiful children who I spend so much time with, almost as much as I spend with my own children….which is a whole lot of time, a whole lot of Living Aloha

Lately, and speaking of …blood relations….it has been a very harrowing time and one that I cannot and have not yet completely….come back from yet…at least not in the manner that I want to, and not in the manner that is complete and not in the manner that would call me anything other than …completely feeling like I had no family.

Yet, here they are, and I could not have asked for more, for better, for anything else in this world than to be a part of this…tradition…of art, of music, of dance, of things that in order to understand it, you have to be part of it. There are a lot of people who, in my life, are “part of it,” this …energy called “My Family.”

At this time in our collective awareness, a whole lot of stuff is happening. The volcanoes are exploding, and the world is moving under our feet and everything appears to be going crazy and almost as though there is nothing that we can do to save ourselves from ourselves.

That is when it is time to recall who you are. In the world of ʻUhane …the world of spirit…there is no such thing as being someoneʻs blood. We are connected by the soul, by the things that we hold in common with one another, and rarely are we concerned with who we are not – only that when we are together, we are a family.

To the beautiful people who I share more than just that thing called being a student at #MtSac, who I have a lot of laughs with, have cried with, have been compelled to go to the mat for in terms of things happening in your lives that breaks your hearts and makes you believe that you are not as awesomely cool as at least this wild auntie knows you each and all are…

…please be who you are, always.

Never forget that the energy of ohana goes far beyond those people who you share so much with, so many important things with, and who you share blood relations with. And for real, forever, never forget that there are people on this planet who are there for you, always, who love you endlessly and whose lives are not the same without you in it.

Mine…Auntie Roxʻs life would not be what it is right now without you guys in it, loud, proud, screaminʻ and jamminʻ here on #TheRockin9th island we call Southern California, specifically Los Angeles, particularly the #SGV – there is no place else on earth like the places that we each and all anciently come from, but, too, there is also not another place on earth where, for some reason, even as we know nothing about one anotherʻs blood relations, and even as we might not even share the same likes or dislikes outside of the thing that we hold in common, what it is that we hold in common is a bond that is unbreakable and one that was created long ago, in the caldera, in the soil, in the air, in the sunshine, in the rain that falls everyday, in the waters that people want to believe divides us, when really, it is what binds us together.

We are Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai – The People of The Water. We are the representatives of the Aloha Soul, of a greeting that sounds foreign but is used as though the only thing that matters to anyone who does not know whatʻs up with us is that there was this guy named Gilligan who everyone decided a long time ago was right, when really, all that did was damage us, all of us, in ways that we do not know and donʻt need to know.

We have been told who we are for generations, and in the times that we were placed in the spotlight and in the times that we felt like there was nothing more to give to this world than yet one more reason as to why it is that someone else has lumped us all together with the rest of the people who they learned about from a television show that was way off back in the days of the Bradys and Samantha Stevens and everything else “television savages.”

Yet we knew better, still know better, because we are not who we are told we are. We are not those grunting idiots on surfboards, and we are not those living renditions of the dashboard hula girl, the Samoan young man whose only mission in this lifetime is to run plays for a guy who he barely knows (unless he is lucky and his coach is like ours – ISLAND), the Phillipino kids who are shy and say very little to you if they do not know you, the evil Chinese greed monger, the Korean whose only thing in life is to work themselves to death, all in the name of it being a cultural pride thing….we knew better.

We knew and know better than to believe those things, and we knew and know better than to think that there is nothing more on this planet for us than to be lesser than anyone else – we know better, because that is not the way that we are taught. In all of the ugly things that we, as those people of the water, knows in regards to the things that we are taught, that we are told are part of being Island, of being Ka Poʻe o Ka Wai…that no matter what, somewhere on this planet are those people who we share everything with but deoxyribonucleic acid and who we know more about than those people who we grew up with who are our cousins, our siblings, our aunties and uncles…sadly, sometimes even our parents…we know that somewhere on this planet is our family, that we are not all alone and that most of all, we know who we are within that group, within that energy, and within this world…Auntie Rox loves you guys, all of you….

…even the pain in the okole ones….you buggahs, too

…and to those two young ladies who I call “the Killer Bee” and simply “Abbie”….yes, of course I will teach you, share with you, give to you the thing that is my knowledge of who we are, wrapped up in an uwehe, an ʻami, and hell yes a smile…I so cannot wait….

Indeed…Auntie Rox Loves You All….

#LiveALOHA #AlohaMaiE #Talofa #MaloELelei #MagandangAraw #AriseMtSac #MtSac #LosAngelesKahunaRox #TheRockin9th #KaPoeOKaWai #ThePeopleOfTheWater #Hawaii #Samoa #Tonga #Tahiti #Philippines #China #Japan #Indonesia #MaoliPride #SGV #Pomona #WalnutCA #LosAngeles #SouthernCalifornia #H_Two_O

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You People

Troys Screenshot

The Hawaiian Way

“…When I think of the Hawaiians and their culture, think of a bunch of whiny professional victims, hell bent on forcing everyone to accept their culture…”

To those of you who feel like this, I have some thoughts for you…and really, you folks -it is not that hard to think.

I said it, so deal with it – we are educated, a whole LOT of us, and we, the each of #AllUsGuys here on #TheRockin9th chose to educate ourselves in the institutions of higher ed that “you people” did not think we would bother to try for ourselves.

Of course, there is the blight over there, and “you people” do not realize that it was due to an energy of superiority that you brought to Our Ancestors, and that your ancestors passed down to “you people,” all these beliefs and ideals that you believed would last forever, including the idea that we would hate ourselves forever and continue to allow you to get away with this sort of thinking.

You did not think that some of us would be eloquent in the language that is not our native language 

…not OUR native language, but that of “you people” – the colonists.

This is the thing that you guys are all mad at – that we decided that we would go to great lengths to do we have to do to make you understand a few things, including, in many ways, beating many of “you people,” specifically the ones like this guy in this post on social media, at the game that your ancestors set up for “you people.”

There are a whole lot of “you people” who tend to think of a whole lot of us, even in our own homeland, as somehow impeding on what you thought would be like a vacation forever in paradise, where the locals are just like you see in the old movies, where what you see there and in those movies is what you get.

Or, perhaps you thought that maybe many of My People would think that it was cool to believe that somehow we would be cool with “You People” living in OUR ʻAINA, if “you people” decided that you would still get away with this sort of thinking and have it NOT be a “thing” for #AllUsGuys

You wanted paradise.

I get it.

I live in Southern California.

People who move here from other places get all shitty with us who are natives of this ʻaina when rain falls. They show up ready for earthquakes and end up finding out that we also have a lot of wildfires, floods in certain areas, and hell yeah -we have crime, and shitty people, and they also find out that we are not all …well….we are not at all the way that  “you people” have even made it seem as though everyone here on this side of the water somehow go to the tanning booth all the time, that we are all jogging, wheat-germ devouring, yoga-doing, protest-attending pro-choicers….you actually get mad at us….same thing in Hawaii.

Lots and lots of “you people” decide that you are going to go over there and make a life for yourself, and while it is that you are told what you are told, you might have gone over there a few times when you were a kid and we were all thought to be kissing the asses of “you people” just because that is what you were told we were like.

You visited a few times, thinking that you would be able to live there, and at no matter what time in history you went there, long ago and even MORE SO now – if you are not used to the reverse racism that perhaps you might all have believed you were somehow immune to…in my native language… e komo mai….welcome to that thing called Karma (haha….I AM from SoCal….hahahaha keep reading)

It sucks, doesnʻt it?

….the truth is…

“You people” who feel like this ought to just go back to wherever it was that YOUR people are, because you seem to think that MY people are somehow WRONG for not wanting your there in OUR homeland.

You cannot handle the truth.

The truth is that really, you were not aware at all that MY people do not TRUST “you people” because “you people” are the reason for every horrid thing that happens over there, and pretty much everywhere, as well.

Just because “you people” want to believe that you are somehow touched by the gods and somehow by right of your mainland birth certificate, somehow, you do not have to at least have some sort of quiet respect for what it is that you are seeing there, what you are being treated like there – I cannot apologize for the people who you have personally encountered, but if those are the only people that you are encountering, where in the hell are you hanging out, brah?

I mean really?

For real – your words and your name sound real, real…colonial…and for that alone you ought to be glad that you are mouthing off online as you are, that no one can check where you live because, you know…Tyler is such a Maoli name….

You canʻt blame a lot of Maoli people for feeling how they do.

It is not like they donʻt have a reason to.

I mean – even here, in the land of the botoxed drag queens and women named “Dick” – even on this side of the water, “you people” seem to think it is somehow okay to talk shit to people like me, speaking someone elseʻs mother language as if my very….Polynesian features, which are unmistakably there, even as my Asiatic eyes make some people ask me where I Am from….that is, unless it is one of “you people,” who ask me if I speak English or Spanish.

Some people ask and donʻt assume…

…and at least they ask and donʻt assume and guess what…it is NEVER one of “you people” who grant the respect, neither the courtesy, of not assuming that I Am anything OTHER than Hawaiian Maoli, just on this side of the water.

You cannot believe the things that you are going through over there, and guess what else?

You canʻt change the way that those people there, who I might not share habits with but I share a similar collective history with ….you cannot make them feel another way about some of “you people” because the simple fact is that you are not truly in another “state” but have actually happened upon an entirely different culture and way of life, and one that is very highly spiritual and more than that, in the world of Spirit, we are LOTS stronger than any one of “you people” and the gods who you sent to exterminate who we still are, from what you want to believe is ONLY the soil upon which your colonial ancestors decided was theirs, all because they could fool naked people in the middle of the sea who had never really encountered any one of “you people” prior to that.

And after that, it became commonplace that not too many of My People wanted to encounter any more of “you people” because it was not until then that My People were introduced to violence of the colonial sort that was one-sided and ruled by a whole lot of “you people” who, throughout history, decided that “you people” somehow had and always have the right idea.

And still, you tried, and you keep trying to change who we are by being …well…frankly…little bitches who would get rolled up on if you were to talk all that shit to someone in my neighborhood on this side of the Pacific Ocean.

And by the way, as Kahuna Wahine – I happen to believe that the reason that Tutu Pele is blowing her stack right now is totally because “you people” came over and dirtied our homeland, and even our people, so that “you people” could call our homeland your real estate, your land, your property…this is the karma that “you people” created for yourselves – the idea that you now are the disdained people, in a land that was not, and will not ever truly belong to any ONE of “you people,” no matter what the deed says, no matter what your lawyers say…no matter the fuck what.

Still, you try to change us…all of us…with your cellular hatreds towards that which is not like “you people”

Let me tell you what, guys – you canʻt. At least not in the way that you think you ought to be able to, with your thoughts that tell you that somehow, because you know your rights, you have the right to disrespectfully speak your mind and hope to your demonic colonial gods who tell you that it is okay for folks like “you people” to hate on folks like my people, and also to have the very ʻolos to talk stink like this in a very public way, likely in hopes to make your hatred go viral….you think that this is what makes you moʻbettah than #AllUsGuys – bruddah…IT DOES NOT. 

I am certain that this is what you were taught, that “you people” are superior to ours, no matter what, because you have that very old document that can be a double-edged sword for us all.

Yet, “you people” just donʻt get it – you are strangers there.

While I Am a very proud Hawaii Maoli, even I Am a stranger there.

I was born and raised here, thankfully by Hawaiian born and raised parents, who were brought over here by their Hawaiian born and raised folks, all so that we could avoid having to deal with the things that, because of “you people” we are now stuck with that puʻolo of ideals that were never our own. 

You disdain our multi-cultural culture, and when you happen upon us here on #TheRockin9th, you behave as though we are some sort of novelty, some sort of living dashboard hula icon staring off into the distance with our silly little (wrong) grass skirt (morons…those are TI LEAF SKIRTS…no be jealous, yeah?…you wish your sorry asses could look as outwardly lovely as some of even our cross-dressers and transgendered folks do…no hate, bruddahs….get over yourselves already – your ancestors came to OUR shores wearing the fashion of the times when men of power wore makeup, high heels, wigs and frilly blousons….go ahead and talk more shit…about anything…go…), the vacant stare and the token ʻukulele…puh-LEEZE, “you people” – geeve us one BREAK awʻready, yeah?

When you gonʻ learn?

When “you people” gonna try think before you get all waha in da moutʻ and get stupid online, believing that no one is going to remembah yoʻ name? Do you realize, all “you people,” that you post these things in public forums with the belief in your delusional thoughts that you are somehow safe in the realm of cyberspace?

Okay – so you might be right.

You might well be safe here, but, what is not safe is your ignorance, and your show of it.

What is not safe is the idea that “you people” and your way of thinking is somehow not outdated.

I think I really love it when “you people” talk stink about another demographic (LGBT, Women, Minorities, The Empoverished…I could go on and on…) and then get caught not only doing those horrific things in private but then choosing to make up excuses as to why it is that “you people” are somehow the ones who have it right and because “you people” want to believe this, you impose those wrong ways of thinking on My People, on anyoneʻs people, as long as it is not placed on “you people.” 

And I think I really love the part where you talked shit about abusers, as if by right of being one of “you people,” yours are not the people who totally made it a “thing” to keep your women quiet….as if somehow, “you people” are sanctioned by your demonic gods of attrition and of the disgust caused by things that “you people” cannot judge, because the reality is that you are intimidated, like so many men who are part of “you people” tend to believe that it is okay, by right of whatevhahs. 

Really?

You mean to tell me that the fat moron, who thinks as lots and lots of “you people” do, and who was as entitled to what he was not entitled to, simply because he was one of “you people” who seem to think that somehow, because you have the money to pay for whatever it is that you want in your life, that you can buy the thoughts and the history and the culture of a Divine People – the Polynesians – and get away with being this disrespectful…even in their homeland?

You act like these words are somehow blessed by your gods of hate, and your gods of greed, and your gods of hiding the things that you shame others for, all because your sorry asses got caught. 

And bruddah…I give not even one of those little itty bitty teeny tiny pebble shits about how “you people” take my words – We Are Braver, as all indigenous peoples are, than “you people” have even dared to think is the truth, let alone as accept as the very truth that “you people” tend to change to suit yourselves. 

Hawaii Nei ainʻt Burger King –  you canʻt handle that you cannot have it your way and “you people,” even as you seem to believe that you have right and privilege no matter where it is that “you people” go, and this includes in places where YOUR FUCKING ANCESTORS chose to disdain MANY MANY other …cultures….enslaving them, making them know what is the very ugly energy of self-hatred, and it was, by right of my observation and also due a long, tumultuous time on this planet as one of #AllUsGuys, for 48 years now, not being one of “you people,” neither thinking like any one of you, even though that is what was expected of All Us Guys who chose to educate ourselves.

“You people” just do NOT get it. 

We do not give in, because as those young men at rehearsal let us all know last night…like school is our houseso, too, are those islands. 

We must protect our ʻAina, our Culture,  and what they stand for, not only for the Hawaii Maoli people, but ALL MAOLI PEOPLES FROM ALL OF POLYNESIA who call Hawaii home…because Hawaii is a microcosm of the things that are the reality of life here on the mainland. But at least over here, we are taught to NOT see what the color of the vitriol is that “you people” state MY PEOPLE show to yours. 

What is the truth is that you are outnumbered, and that is why “you people” tend to pitch such a phenomenal bitch about things that you are now being shown was done to all peoples who were not of and are still not of the colonial mindset, even as we are educated in your schools, from sea to shining sea….”you people” are worried that My People are actually as smart as you have always known us to be, and it worries you.

It worries you that we might be a force to be reckoned with. 

Good. 

Itʻs about time, dammit.

“You people” make it very evident to people like my people the reality of your own thoughts about your own selves, and that is that you have chosen to impart upon the indigenous peoples of the planet your feelings about how it is that indeed, we are very much a dear force to be reckoned with. I suppose no one told any one of “you people” that eventually, we would, through the generations, no longer choose to believe what your ancestors chose for us, that we, Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai – The People of The Water, refused then and refuse now, in the name of ourselves, in the name of our blessed Polynesian culture, our ways of Aloha, from this ʻaina, on this side of the ocean, the reverberations of our Aloha for #AllUsGuys, which shakes the hateful to their very sordid core. This is who we are, and it bothers “you people.”

And no…not at all am I writing about white people – I Am writing about those sorts of people who think that it is okay to dirty the Sacred nature of someone elseʻs homelands, and who think that we just need to get over ourselves.

I Promise…all of “you people” – no matter the color of your skin, no matter the depth of your self-hatred that comes out as hatred for people who live within the confines of the Aloha Spirit (itʻs still a law there, dumb ass) . There are many of “you people” who live there and still have no idea that you are in the Land of Aloha….do “you people” not realize yet that this is not ever going to different?

According to Tyler….the only answer is no….

The Hawaiian Way….sad, yeah? Lots of “you people” live in the Land of Aloha and still have the mindset of “you people” against anyone who does not think like you do.

You brought this on yourselves.

Either learn to #LiveALOHA, or pack your asses up and live somewhere else….

#FuckTyler #TheAlohaSpiritLaw #JustRox #LosAngelesKahunaRox #TheCrabAndTheFish #HoOManaWellnessSoCal #PuckingIrishGuysRockShop #TheRockin9th  #KeepHawaiiNative #HoOManaWellnessdoTerra

 

 

 

 

Values

“Most of the values we acquire as children stay with us throughout our lives”

(Dr. George Huʻeu Sanford Kanahale – Ku Kanaka)

That I was born and raised on #TheRockin9th makes no difference in the idea that when a Hawaiian parent…when ANY island-values raised person, from ANY island, is raised with the values as set forth by the Ancients, those values, as I have proven, remain with us for the rest of our lives, or at least until we have a new set of priorities that we place a higher value upon.

I did not need to read Professor Kanaheleʻs Ku Kanaka to know this.

I was raised to be a very good Hawaiian person, and people tell me always, that even though I have been experiencing what I can only think to be the very opposite of Aloha lately, by, no less, people who were raised to also be good Hawaiians, and who are, in my opinion, not being what I KNOW they were raised to be.

Yet, that is neither here nor there -the reason that I KNOW I AM A VERY GOOD HAWAIIAN is because, first of all – that is the way that my mother raised me (and my brother) and the way that she also helped me raise my own three kids to this point, and me and my three have extended this measure of Aloha to include my partner, David, my hanai son, Christian, and my daughterʻs boyfriend, the young man who I have always referred to as being my son-in-law, a young and indeed very talented musician named Tommy, and a young woman who I refer to as “Lena” who is my oldest son Jeremyʻs girlfriend.

No.

Chritian, Tommy, Lena, and my David are not “blood Hawaiians,” and really, they donʻt need to be.

They know what I mean when I state that some haoles are better Hawaiians than a lot of Hawaiians.

Yeah.

I said it.

Deal with it – it is the very truth.

These people have been shown for real kine Aloha. It is not something that we are meant to keep to ourselves, and is not something that anyoneʻs Aumakua set out to keep within certain circles. Aloha is meant to be shared, with everyone, even those who are considered as being the people who Christ called “The Least of Us.” And really, when you look around you, there is evidence all around that people forgot about the least of us.

I Am a Life Coach here in my neck of the ʻhood – Pomona, CA, and it is through my practice as such that I see the two sides of the human condition – essentially, the darkness and the Light within the Soul. For the most part, we humans have become adept at the show of Aloha to those who are not at the same level as we are in some way. The issue is not that we show this to strangers, but, when it comes to those who we know very well, there is this…hierarchy…that exists yet in a whole lot of Hawaiian families.

This has to stop…this…placing higher value on one person because they are the first born this or that, or more worse, placing people who are the last born in esteem that they are not old enough to have earned yet, even though since they might have been handed, via court order or just because someone gave it to them – a false sense of power. When the question regarding power of attorney was brought up in conversation with my mother a few years ago, I can only state for myself the truth that I DID NOT want it. I do NOT care one bit about the traditional crap of the firstborn kid in any family being given the most responsibility. It is bad enough, as is, that we have to wear that shit, and worse when we are expected to do things just by that reason alone.

I Am not sorry at all that I was not handed this responsibility. I do not need one more of those. I Am the Mother of three lovely Hawaiian souls, and indeed – to many, MANY MORE YOUNG ISLAND SOULS, I Am Auntie Rox. 

To a group of Healers and Shamanic types, I Am Their Sister. To one man I Am the Partner who would not ever, and has not given up on herself, thus telling him that I will also not give up on him. To another man, I Am “Sis,” and yet a few others, “Cuzz.”

…and the lovely thing about these people is no matter who it is that I Am to them each, I Am simply #JustRox. 

To lots of people, I Am just Me. More than that, in terms of that whole…power of attorney thing…well, we shall say that since it is that I Am very aware of myself, and because of this, it was, I suppose, as one of those “responsible firstborn” things and duties….it was my way of telling my parents that I Am Aware of My Own life enough to know that I Have UKUPLENTY KINE KULEANA. I suppose that there were people who were not thinking that I might NOT go off like I am certain was expected, specifically that if I had seen it in writing who held that responsibility.

We shall say that over that one thing I Am losing no sleep (I Promise). It is my belief that this familial hierarchy crap is just that – CRAP, and when it is that oneʻs responses, rather than the expected reaction, are not the thing anyone was prepared for…haha – yeah, it can cause a whole LOT of confusion and more than that, it does bring out the haters – albeit silently – in certain people.

Hence, the reason why it is that I Am a Believer in the fact that when kids are equally held responsible for knowing something that is an expected thing for them to know, it is up to us as their parents to teach them these things – and mostly, to be brave enough to tell us when they do not want to do something.

Unfortunately, we are taught, the majority of us, to value things, and value the opinions about who we are that are offered to us by others, no matter who they are. The sad part about that is that we are not really ever, or at least my generation wasnʻt taught that we have a choice, and having a choice means that we have a voice. Lots of people want to silence kids, and they do so through those kidsʻ parents. It happened to me. And really, the thing that I Am holding in the highest esteem is what my mother taught me and more than much else – showed me….is that I Am a Valuable, Worthy Human Who She Loves and Trusts and that is the only thing that I Am Believing.

I Am A mother…we do not give up on our kids as fast as some others have. I Am a Hawaiian Mother, and my kids know my Hawaiian Mother very well – they call her Grandma, and that bond is unshakable, specifically with that woman who I refer to as “Mom.” I Am Her First Born Child, and that is not something that can or will  be just snatched from me. It cannot be, even though it would be thought of that since I am rarely seen by my blood, that somehow, I care less than they do.

This is all coming to me from different places, and all it is really doing is confirming for me what I already know about me that other people who I share a grandmother with likes to tell people….and I Am Okay about it all.

I Am My Momʻs First Born Kid and I Am the First Born Daughter of The First Born Daughter, and yeah…I also Am the Mom of my motherʻs First Born Daughter Grand-daughter….and all of these things mean a lot in the Spiritual sense, but, in the real and outer world sense it is plain old birth order. And placing responsibility for anything, and this includes the assumptions that we, as these people in the hierarchy of ridiculousness, will gladly take on these…Karmic things….and pass them on and on and on as if there was not that thing in our collective energy called Original Thought.

It is …abusive…this way of doing things…by birth order.

That I Am Kanaka Maoli means that I Am one of those people who knows how very truly abusive this practice is, because this sort of thing is very prevalent in our culture. I Am all for traditions, as long as they are not dividing people over stupid things.

Birth order and its use as a measuring tool in our culture and in many others, for many things that are assumed about people rather than what is actually known – this is the thing that is making life as an Ancient Soul in these modern times harder to impress upon people that birth order doesnʻt matter, that it is not really something that a whole lot of us are just sort of ditching, and that if you have to divide like this then you just found out why we are still…rebelling…for lack of a better word.

While I can appreciate history, familial lineage and all that other good stuff, I cannot appreciate abuse, and I cannot appreciate that people who we share the air with are preaching solidarity, but their actions and the things that you hear about yourself after the fact do not match.

To place this kind of havoc into the middle of families is old.

We are equal, #AllUsGuys.

We are no longer in the energy where sometimes, while the firstborn kid is assumed to be able to deal with things that we are assumed to be able to deal with, it rarely is thought about that sometimes, like I have proven, those outer Kuleanas as set forth by the generations of the past are not as important as are the ones on the inside – the ones which require our highest and purest level of Aloha, of thought, and especially, of Integrity.

Just because someone is born first it does not automatically mean that they are going to be responsible enough to take care of the life affairs of anyone else. And power of attorney is NOT the only thing that I Am saying here – I Am saying that we are all born with the same things happening for us at birth – tabula rasaa blank slate of thought (“clean slate”). We think we have the right to jack up our kids by carrying on abusive traditions and having the nerve to say that it is expected of us to carry on a tradition when in reality it is carrying on and allowing the energy of abuse.

Remember that we who were born first are sort of the test child…it is not fair to assume that we want that Kuleana, or lots of others that we are forced to take (I think the worst one is when the oldest daughters are made to become the “little mother” to the rest of her siblings – no one is going to tell me that that did not happen when my momʻs youngest kid was born…I Lived what you are reading, so please keep reading) just because we are the first ones born. There are things that I would not assume that Jeremy would want to have has his responsibility, as much as I KNOW that there are other things that Gracie would not want to do – my response to this whole passing down of the traditions that suck thing was to allow my kids their thoughts and not judge my keiki for having the ability to think on their own.

It is not our right to make these people who depend on us take on things that we, ourselves, might not have wanted as our responsibility.

This is not something that I am not aware of, this whole…I Am the Firstborn Daughter of a Firstborn daughter, and hell yeah, I also have a first and only born daughter named Grace. When you see that much from the point of view that is mine as Kahuna, you see the spiritual dynamic of The #TripleGoddess…My Mother as Crone, myself as Mother, and my daughter as Maiden. You see that somehow, in all of what my mom taught me – I Learned, from her, very well, to be a very, very good Hawaiian.

It was My Kuleana to carry on, with my motherʻs guidance, even as she is still not home and even as I still have not been able to get to her for reasons that are completely stupid….and so, I carried on the good things, and now daily shedding the things that are not of good value in the life that I share with the kids who call me Mom, and the ones who call me Auntie Rox.

All these beautiful souls are all worthy, hold the same potential for greatness that, no matter in what order a human soul was brought into this awareness in a body through, we all have. Our greatest feat is to carry on the good while allowing the bad to just no longer be. That whole…firstborn thing, in MY specific case takes on a whole new energy when we see the thing that I DID choose to take on, which was, by my own thinking, a VERY IMPORTANT THING and remains to be a very important thing.

That Very Important Thing, as I have repeated and will continue to repeat, was to raise Very Good Hawaiians, and the sort who know what it means to have values.

I was raised to be a very good Hawaiian, and in turn, even though my kids and I went through hell for a long, long time, we remained there for one another, are still there for one another, and we know this about one another. We will always be there for each other. There are times that I know that I was on my own, even though their father was around – that guy just served to be the very example of this dynamic of this firstborn crap in the outer world and the importance that society and our culture places on age, as though it is somehow the marker for wisdom.

It isnʻt.

Eh….we all know one person is who older than we are and who is way way too lolo for that person to be in charge of anything. We also know that there are people like me – not lolo but also, akamai enough to know that there are things that I just am not interested in doing or holding responsibility for, and if I have to say it this way it was my “first official firstborn” thing to give that title to one of my other blood relatives.

I did not…and you are reading it, meaning that it is IN WRITING….EVER want to hold the title of holding power of attorney for my parents. I Am A Parent. That is plenty of responsibility on its own.

The Wisdom, in terms of this …power of attorney…that people, I Am certain, want to or might believe I Am up in arms about ….youʻre all wrong if this is what you want to believe. And to anyone who wants to believe this…I already know that you have your minds made up about this, and that anything that I could possibly state right now is irrelevant, as though I did not have that much of a clue about things that I might end up angry as hell over …all of this….garbage.

Haha…I really Am fine with it…because yeah – I chose it this way, years ago. This is what is meant by the FACT that as a firstborn I have somewhat of a clue as to how much drama I can deal with and more, if any of it is worth it and guess what?

It ainʻt.

My mom raised me to be a Very Good Hawaiian.

I have done the very same thing.

I have the photos to prove it.

The thing that a whole lot of us do not realize is that for a long long time, collectively, we have valued things and have allowed them, for the most part, to become the thing that makes us worthy in the eyes of others. We have valued what we have been shown, by the westernized world, that the more you have, the more worthy you are, and the more that you are worthy in the eyes of others, based on the things that you own, or how much pull you have in your community, or …well, things outside oneʻs own self, including the false accolades had with the energy that is one-upping someone else in the eyes of what can be called a group, but certainly NOT family and from my vantage point and the thing that I am going through right now..it is completely the opposite of Aloha, completely the opposite of ohana.

Hoʻonānā – Pay attention, you folks…

In my world, science is the thing that makes me silly with delight (ok….so to that you can add my other half and my three kids and all those kids who call me Auntie and every person who refers to me as their sister….I Love You Guys). I research the human condition and our behaviors. When I add to my findings the things that I was taught and how my mother raised me (versus how she did NOT), what I also find there is that while a whole LOT of people like to believe that they are being the best Hawaiians that they can be, on the other side of that is where they are failing miserably. I wish I knew what makes anyone think that bullying anyone else, specifically to get oneʻs own way or more…my favorite – to get a hoped for reaction, or, to teach anyone else some sort of sick, sordid lesson that somehow, in the minds of those who believe they are “teaching” these lessons –  the thing that they are absent of is this energy called Aloha….what makes anyone think that being less than loving can be called that energy…that beautiful healing energy called Aloha?

It cannot be that way, because light and dark can exist side by side, but at one time and in the same space, it cannot be. The two exist NEXT to each other, not as a combination. Scientifically it cannot and will not happen.

Same thing with what is Love and what is this bullshit that lots of us DO NOT REALLY KNOW what it is if you call it “tough” love.

Canʻt be in the same place, guys…at all – toughness is toughness, and Love, when it is real, is gentle, kind and accommodating. It is anything but “tough” and cannot be “tough,” no matter what it is that your tutus, your tutu aunties and unkos, that ANY DAMNED PERSON WHO IS NOT BETTER THAN YOU ARE for ANY reason – we are all damned special…even the “tough love” believers.

Do You Value Aloha, and if so, Why?

Aloha, you folks, is one of our core values, so much so that it is still an actual law in Hawaii. The showing of it, to all others, even from a distance, is what makes us Polynesian.

This includes those Polys who hail from Samoa – Western and American, and includes our Tongan ohana, our Maoris, our Tahitians, the very damned #AllUsGuys.

We do not, even at this late stage in our collective lives, where things are upside-down, all looking like your pupule Auntie went go try cut da ti leaves again and ʻauwe! Da garden stay nekked now….we do not know what it is like to not one up each other, and when this happens and families who have employed this method to “teach” anyone anything….we are shown what is so so NOT Aloha.

To value anything means that we place priority on it, and we like to tell people that “Aloha is ours” and it is, but, what, exactly is it that you think is Aloha versus what really is Aloha? Do you truly value your culture enough to look past the self-hatreds that were never really ours and are you able to cut yourself loose and suffer the arrows of separation, not from your blood, and neither from your chosen ohana, hanai or not, but of the false beliefs that you have not realized that you may never have believed in the first place?

Are you able to let go of the things that your Kupuna taught you out of fear that their ideals would not be fully accepted, which are the things that pit us against each other, from either side of the ocean, all over an ideal whose time has come to be a thing of the past? Can you bring yourselves past what is the egoʻs need for recognition, for accolades and accommodation of your own broken souls, to that place that is the healing reality of the Aloha Soul within you, and are you ready to say goodbye, yet, to the things that you are only thinking about now as being those things which broke your soul, again and again, during your small keed time?

Can you forgive YOU for hanging on to beliefs that, even when you were that tiny kid, you did not understand, because what you were told was “discipline” came with threats to your safety, and then after the leekenz, everyone seemed to gather around you and make fun of the fact that you did nothing wrong, but since it was that you were with the rest of the kids, you got leekenz, too? Can you stop the anger that is deep seated within you, and can you move forward, away from all that pain, think only of the thing that got you through it all, and realizing, through it all, that it was not your blood who helped you heal, but that it was the water that the blood seems to think is not as important as it is in its own thoughts and eyes?

If you have heard yourself telling anyone else that “blood is thicker than water,” then you have forgotten your place as part of Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai … you have forgotten your actual place as part of The People of The Water – #AllUsGuys…All Us Polys…who are, regardless of which set of islands you hail from, are also, like the Kanaka Maoli people, considered as being Ka Poʻe o Aloha – The People of Aloha? 

Can you?

Aloha is one of Our Core Values as a people – is it one of yours as a singular Maoli Soul, no matter where it is that you hail from? 

These questions are not easily answered, because each of us comes from a different place in so many ways but, the core thing that is similar is that we shattered the beliefs about birth order, about who is more worthy than who, about the Ego and how it is that it is what was lived by until a certain generation of parents came into being, the one the world calls “Generation X.”

I Am a part of this beautiful shattered wreck who the world knows as Gen-Xʻers, and I Am proud to be a parent of the Hawaiian Maoli sort, the kind who was lucky enough to have been raised to shatter, along with my generation of Maoli parents, the expectations that none of us tried to live up to but were expected to. We are who has brought to the world this gentler set of Maoli people…are the ones who have brought into being the culmination of both the People of the Water as also, no matter how the older generation and even part of the younger set among us X-ers, wants to believe.

We are that generation of parents, particularly us Moms, who decided, long before we were parents, that we would not be carrying on these abusive ways of being, no matter who chose to continue to chastise us for it. That much did not matter.

We did an awesome job, the collective of us Maoli Moms on the planet, in raising the vibration of what is needed through our kids…

We taught them to #LiveALOHA, and did so not only in how we live on #TheRockin9th as Mainland Maolis, but more, as Poly-Moms who could not allow it that our kids would have to cry over getting leekenz because Joonah Boy went shi shi on da dog and everyone laughed at it because it was funny.

Everyone has a Joonah Boy in the family…..no one thinks that maybe the reason Joonah Boy went shi shi on the dog was because Joonah Boyʻs tutu man went laugh at him when the fuckinʻ dog went shi shi on Joonah Boy.

No one tells anyone else about the other side of the story, and this is what my generation of Maoli Moms brought with us.

A Healthy balance the right that our kids, as thinking Beings, to be brave enough to have a clue and tell us about it. We have lived in fear of the less-than-good opinion of us by others, and always, typically those others would not even bother with us if they did not believe that there was some prize at the end.

That prize is usually the forced shame of other people….for whatever reason.

There is no good enough reason to harm people, at all, namely kid people.

Try think about it, yeah?

#LiveALOHA

#LosAngelesKahunaRox

#TheCrabAndTheFish

#HoOManaWellnessSoCal

 

Aloha is My First Language…

arise spring 2017.jpg

It is our Kuleana to teach them how to Love

The last two weeks have been horrific for me.

There are some people who will read this and perhaps think to themselves “there she goes again, whining about herself when her mom is so sick” when really, it might not be that I am actually whining, and it is for sure not at all that I do not know how sick my mother really is, even though today she is better than she was yesterday.

What I Am talking about is the idea that Love, in any situation, has to be “tough.”

It doesnʻt have to be tough.

It is Love, not leather, and even though as a #Rockin9th island Maoli girl I KNOW the beauty of leather and love….in this instance, it is not the same.

While it might be that I will remain to be a Maoli girl with #MetalHornsUp for the rest of my head banginʻ days (yep – at the ripe old age of 48, I am still rockinʻ and rollinʻ….eh – no be jealous, yeah? You can do it too…anyone can play slack key Metallica???No…really..I Like know) it also means that one thing is for sure…

If I am this age and still love my metal horns up, what then will cause a person to think that I would not also grow in terms of being a loving soul whose intentions are what they need to be for the purpose of helping others get past what their egos want to the thing that is the realest thing of all…the Love within the soul of the Maolis around the world? 

Let it be well known now that those two words do not now, nor have they ever “gone” together…the words “constructive” and “criticism.”

Think about it…

You cannot have two things that are completely opposite each other in terms of energy be in the same place at the same time and more, in terms of emotional energetic response, it is impossible for ANY human to state that they can feel that anyone loves them when they are being “constructively criticized.” It does not happen that way because the bottom line truth is that most people have no IDEA how to actually and actively be constructive when offering useful advice about things, and most of the time that phrase is used to excuse the person giving the critique the …time to think of a gentle way to criticize when in reality, they can just be frikkin quiet about it and not offer their opinion about what makes THEM uncomfortable.

In my world and from what my experience has been throughout my 48 years on this planet and breathing…my experiences tell me that most people do not know what that means. They believe that it gives them the right to be an asshole, albeit a nice asshole (Of course, except my awesome speech professor who I will again be her student in the fall…hey Professor….I hope you are well…I will email you in a few…hereʻs one of my rambling blogs….everyone keep reading, please…)

The greatest thing that I have ever done for me was to recently choose, without much help other than the thing that happened a little over a week ago now, to no longer allow people in my life, or that of my kidsʻ lives, more people who will come and constructively criticize them. The world does enough of that already, and right now we are seeing it being played out online, on television, on the radio…everywhere.

Right now, kids are not even being considered but, at the same time, right now, we are in a massive Universal shift – it is far more than just the poles.

A Massive Shift in Consciousness….

It is time to be all the good Hawaiian, Samoan, Tongan, “everyone-else-island-too” that you can be right now.

The world needs us.

In that photograph up there, I am with a group of young Maoli people -they are my #Arise Ohana, the family who I am blessed with who is not my blood, who does not know my cousins or my Aunties or Uncles, and the family that knows …Auntie Rox is always going to Love you, and Auntie is watching you do your thing very well, and Auntie is right here for you, and most of all, Auntie is not going to tell you that you are wrong and make it hurt – I never have and I never will…I am only going to tell you how to do something better and more attuned with who you are. This specific Auntie is going to do everything that I can to never hurt or bring harm to you, and to lead you correctly back towards the Native Person who you are and might not realize that you are. This is my place in life…to lead people back to themselves, to teach them to lead themselves and most of all, to never ever forget that all of us were meant to speak the Language of Aloha…that we, as Ka Poʻe o Ka Wai… The People of The Water, have been placed in charge of this very special thing. 

They are the family who I got to choose.

I did a very, very good job.

They are my family, even as they are not my blood. That much does not matter.

What matters is that these are not my kids, but, they know, very well and hopefully all the way down into the bones of their Maoli souls…Auntie Loves You, All of You, and I Am here to teach you about who you are, from the Native place in your soul. I Am Here for You, and I Am always going to be. I Will not judge you for who you are and more, for what and who you are not, and I Will always tell you when you have done a good job and that you are able to climb higher than that….and yes, this Auntie will wait excitedly to hear how well you did, will not throw blows with you and no leekenz are ever going to be involved…just always all and only #Aloha…always and only #Love… because that is what I receive from all of You…all the time.

There is nothing quite more important in the lives of island people than our families. When it is that we have to go beyond those means to build what is ʻfamilyʻ, and we find that within the circle of blood and familial recognition that there is a rift in the seams, so to speak, the Universe always answers with the right people in place and the very ones who will be there for you endlessly, even when they donʻt know that they have been.

These beautiful Keiki…they do not realize this about themselves…that in their young hearts beat the rhythms of the islands from which each of them anciently hail and from each of those places within them are the evidence of the thing that broke them, all their lives, and the thing that scares them, still and all the while, the only thing that they needed, that we all need, and that they do not realize until right this moment that they have offered me, from day one…that thing is Unconditional Aloha…

As a scientist of the behavioral sort, this is something that we, as those geeks, wait for – evidence that our hunches were right.

Mine were right…

….kids are like ti leaf plants…

They need plenty of care, and once it is that they have grown accustomed to that caring, they become more strong and more beautiful, their inner beauty seen by the world …and like what they do for me, these plants, also is what these kids at my house who call me Mom and at my school who call me Auntie also give me…the care needed to grow into the human that I Am becoming, so that through that Human Being, I Am Able further to become what it is that I Am to Them, to a whole LOT of them…some of them even calling me Tia…and who spell the word Aloha with a “J” instead of an “H.”

Where it is that I believed that I was touching no oneʻs lives, where I believed I had no family to claim as mine, and believing that I Am the most…dented Hawaiian….that there is on this planet…along comes these beautiful souls…not just the ones who call me “Mom” or the one man on this planet who sometimes pisses me off in the most beautiful loving way and the one who calls me “Pineapple” and in whose deepest recesses of his soul I live…not the younger brother who has again come to my emotional rescue and has hlped deliver me from my own evil thoughts about myself, reminding me, alongside that man who calls me his girl, that I am the least evil person on this planet, that I am nowhere near anything or anyone evil in each of their own private and personal worlds…

…where I believed all of these awful things about who I Am, there were these..other motherʻs children who call me Auntie Rox who love me just exactly as I Am…

…dents and dings and tears and curse words and all. These people in this photo with me love their Hanai Auntie Rox….

Thatʻs me…I Am Auntie Rox, and I Love Being That to These Beautiful Beautiful Island Children.

I Love Them.
All of Them.

They are fully well aware of this much.

This is where My specific Science comes in and where I allow the ancient voice in me to speak through the scientist, through the person in the lives of young people who is meant to be there for them on some level because that is where I Am in the lives of most people who know me well enough to also know how much they each mean to me

Where these people in this photograph are concerned, they do not need to share DNA, a Grandma, a crazy Auntie who will geeve leekenz because I have become the …kolohe Auntie who, I hope, for real, represents what it is that they are, too, which is a group of people who were meant to change the world by changing their own personal world, and by living from that place within them that tells them to never ever forget who they are in terms of where it is that their ancient selves hail from.

Mine hail from the open ocean, from navigating the wide, violent yet mysteriously beautiful Pacific ocean which borders everything that we each and all are….the sun, the moon, the stars in the skies at night.

We are the birds overhead as they call towards the land, and we are the ocean…the open ocean which simultaneously physically limits and beckons us each to a place in the past where we can hear our hearts beating like that of a native drum. The very all of us, all together as one, never minding the island and which one we came from, and only knowing, for real and for sure, that we are that thing that most people fight to have, and lots of people fight to not fight over, and that most people destroy, all for the sake of being something that they feel is more important than preserving the thing that families are meant to be built up with and on top of a foundation created of nothing more than the very purest of that thing called Aloha….even if your lineage makes it possible that you explain your Aloha with a “J” 

Me and all …ALL MY KEIKIS…even my Hanai ones….we speak the Language called Aloha FLUENTLY…

It is not a secret that I Am a very proud Mainland Maoli woman. My children, even as they are half white, were raised ALL KANAKA, and they do not know that they are anything OTHER than Hawaiian.

They have me and their grandmother, the woman in the hospital, to thank for that much.

My mom set out to do the thing that I did, and I know that she is successful at it, because I was successful at it – I have raised my children to live in and as the Light of Aloha, to speak the Language of Love fluently, to not judge others for not being like them. I have taught them to be kind, and to see what is the same about themselves that is like anyone else and to follow the lead of their heart, because that is where the Aloha is from – within.

I have taught them to be the best Hawaiian people that they can be, to be the best level human being that they can be, every day of their young lives, and to take no oneʻs shit when those others do not know what they are talking about.

I find it hard to look around me lately to see through to the Love that I Am being told is there, at least from parts of the family which I share DNA with. The only place that that Love exists is in the energies that are shared between like souls and like individuals. We cannot any further force our kids to “show love” to people who creep them out. Just because we, as these parents and adults and leaders in the lives of the young, and just because we want to trust that others have our best interests at heart, we have to ask ourselves, right in that moment, if what it is that we are being asked is to perpetuate what is actually abuse that is generational, and not what we have been told all of our lives it is, which is that shit called “tough love.”

Telling your kids that they have to show love to people they donʻt trust and who we, ourselves as their parents, do not trust more is abuse. Stop it already. You are hurting your kids, are hurting the future. They know who they love and who they can trust.

Stop forcing them to love people they do not trust, and stop telling them that they HAVE TO show this love to people that they do not know. Stop making them think that because they do not agree with you that they are being bad kids – this is what I grew up thinking about myself, that I was bad, all because I was different and had those things which not a lot of people have – they are called original thoughts.

And yeah, you folks…it is actually time that you started to create your own family customs and stop perpetuating the controlling ways of YOUR parents and YOUR grandparents. If you want to do that, then please refrain from trying to enforce that on my kids. They know better than you give them credit for. They know what is and what is not Love. They are better at loving others than anyone they know, are, and they DO NOT fail me in that manner. They know, with their hearts and their Maoli souls and selves what is and what is NOT Aloha. They know Aloha. They do not know what it is not. Stop impressing upon them what they do not recognize as their truths and what it is that they know as Love. They do not know anything other than the truth of Love as I have presented it to them all of their lives and they do not recognize any reasons as to what is NOT love that others keep telling them is “tough” love – they do not know what that is.

Please stop showing it to them.

They think you hate them.  

So, to those who love me as I Am, I must take this moment to thank you for helping me come to the conclusion that family is not always blood, is not always going to care what you are going through because they already have their minds made up. This is okay with me because anymore now I find that it is the way that I find out who actually loves me, and who wants to still place me and now my kids in their control through emotional means. 

I might become the most hated Hawaiian in my own culture once it is that people read that I know I am not alone in the idea that the time has come to stop the belittling of our children, time to stop with the handing down of the bad family habits and outdated expectations through family “things” that cause some members to never ever be anything good in the eyes of those people who we share DNA and grandparents with – it is time to stop playing favorites, to stop bullying each other for the sake of family ways of being that just perpetuate the emotional violence.

We, as a people, in terms of the very all of us…but PRIMARILY HAWAIIAN PEOPLE…yeah I said it so deal with itwe HAVE GOT TO START EMPLOYING OUR OWN MEANS OF KEEPING OUR CHILDREN SAFE, not just from creepy family members with stinky beer breath and a floating eyeball, but, from the ways of being that dented and damaged an entire generation of Hawaiians who are now raising their brood with people who same said brood do not share DNA with.

It has come to this point where it is that the old is trying to not even let the new become what it ought to be. It is going to happen anyway because Hawaiians like me who have kids like mine who want to preserve the culture and NOT THE BAD HABITS that are collective and “normal” in terms of the way that families in my culture have treated each other are now raising the future generations of Hawaiians and WE ARE TELLING YOU ALL TO KNOCK THIS CRAP OFF!

It is deplorable and it has to stop.

The name calling and the threats of leekenz, the belittling of what people think of themselves and the bullying of a collective of children who are being raised by mothers who, collectively, went through what we are each and all watching and no longer allowing, by anyone, no matter who you are or who you think you are, people to perpetuate everything that is in the DNA, that is chosen and that is enforced. This is the old way. You are employing the old to apply to the new and the new is just not taking it lying down…so you choose to push them down.

We are not letting you do this anymore, to our kids, and you are now making it appear that we are evil and unable to do things without your approval.

You are, if this is your method of employ and this is how you get your way…you are not better than anyone else and for your information, you are perpetuating the thing that you say does not exist. The reason that it does not exist to folks like you is because you are too busy bullying kids into loving your tendencies to not kick their asses or take away their sense of security and who they are in your life according to you. If all they are to you are people who you get to bully because that is what you were when you were a child, and now you expect my children to not defend themselves, you have another thing coming.

I taught them that much..to defend themselves and now, there are at least two of you, both extended members of the DNA chain, who they KNOW are NOT family…just merely people who they share DNA with, but certainly NOT the old and abusive tendencies you want ME to remain to adhere to. Everyone knows that in order for abuse to occur, there has to be a victim and I refuse to let anyone else ever victimize me or my kids – any kids – ever, ever again, for any reason, but specifically for the reasons of proving a sick and detested point – that adults are more right than the kids who we used to be.

This is correct – we are NOT THOSE kids anymore, and you do not get to do to us what you did all of our lives and no…no no no you DO NOT get to use OTHER PEOPLE to carry out your ugliness. It just does not work that way and we see right through your bullshit.

And make no mistake – this is bullshit.

All of it.

If you can victimize a whole family and not look at them with at least the tiniest bit of concern for the safety of children, including the emotional safety..then I must thank you, all of you for doing the thing that I cannot, which is show them, through my own example, what is and what is not abuse, what is and what is not family.

What is, and most importantly above all else…what is NOT Aloha.

In MY family, it does not matter what languages you speak for real. We speak Aloha fluently in my family.

…yeah…I taught em…all of ʻem….

…even the ones who spell Aloha with a “J” instead of an “H”

It is our Kuleana, guys, to give to the future what it is that we have learned from the past and bring it to the Now. My Now is rife with beauty, even as it is also rife with Pain.

Knowing how to speak the language of Aloha is the Medicine, and I Am the Kahuna who delivers it every single day of my life.

And I have the people in the picture, along with the people in my house, who prove this much to me every day of my life….

This is what we do, #AllUsGuys….

We Speak Aloha, fluently….please learn your language.

You are needed.

#LosAngelesKahunaRox

#AriseMtSac

#WeSpeakAlohaFluently

 

 

SO NOT ALOHA…

gracie and grandma laughing at me calling a pake a pake1

IT IS CALLED “THE POMONA ISLANDER” 

Typically, I will not rally my fellow humans, specifically my fellow kanakas, for anything that is on the personal level, but in this instance, we have a very sick old woman, her husband, children, grandchildren, all trying very hard to get things done for her benefit, and the thing that is standing in our way is a very illegal “contract” that was written by the people who own this place where my mother and father have lived for twenty years, or at least almost that long.

But the issues are not about the owners, because being this Kahuna Wahine that I Am….I am “being told” by my ʻaumakua that I am right – this is about everything that we are seeing happening in DC, and right here, in my midst, we are being handled wrongly, namely when accommodations CAN be made and are not even being considered. I know that it is dangerous for me to be putting this all in writing, but the bravery that I am feeling right now is stemming from the helplessness that these two haggathas have handed my dad, a man who has been through so very much from the time that I was barely 16.

My own childhood home was lost due to these same things that these women have elected to create for my parents. If I had my druthers, which I still might – I would have them BOTH charged with elder abuse. It is still early enough, and I am wise enough to even consider it. Unless I get what I know is fair, all bets are off – I know enough people in certain power to make certain things happen, and things that happen when I do them tend to be permanent.

We shall say that I take my ordination and my mandate in the state of California VERY seriously, and in that manner, I will get my way.

However, I do not want to go that route.

At all.

I am all for the side that says “letʻs work this out so we all benefit” and yeah, in this energy, it feels like I am going to be literally paying these women off with actual cash payola. I could be wrong, but I am doubtful. And if that is not the case, then I am right in that, they simply have no reason, in their convoluted thinking, to not grant a very old man who happens to be non-white, and his very ailing wife – another non-white, more time to complete what is the thing that she has always wanted…her little house to reflect who she is. I was told that this time I might need to “take off the gloves” and fight like a chick and well, this is what I call “the throw down” in intellectual terms where there are not a whole lot of people fighting. My mom is not a fighter, and my father used to be but, he is tired and his only worry is my mom.

This is the same worry that I, my siblings and my children, as well as her Hanai Ohana, all have. We want her to have her way, and namely because this time, it matters and it matters not only because she is my mom, but because the one thing that she and anyone who is her age deserves is the recognition that her grandkids are trying to give to her in the form of her home being what she wants it to be.

These two women are taking my dad to task over the parking of a trailer, which is the thing that my dad thought about for a while, knowing that he would be able to help my other half to get jobs, and my other half knowing that my parents would love it if he were able to put some work into her house, and at the same time, this Hanai Kanaka Maoli who we all refer to as “Kawika” is here, lending his knowledge to my son, Kahakuloa, and my daughterʻs boyfriend, Tommy, and Kahakuʻs hanai brother Christian, in regards to the thing that my mother, Sheila Soares, always wanted – a TOTALLY KANAKAʻD OUT PAD, and her eldest grandson was too happy to accommodate her.

Big Son Prom

She is his Grandma. She is the other mom that he has always loved and depended on and when it was that he could do something for her he jumped at the chance. So now we have this happy family thing going on and these women want to get in the way of it, all of it, over things that are in the “contract” that is not an actual binding contract that is actually fair and accommodates both sides. 

It doesnʻt. It isnʻt.

What it is is a document that reads very much more like a list of things that people who are paying good money to stay in this place are paying to people who just keep on keeping on with the abuses that have been doled out to this community by the management for as long as my parents have been here and have paid their dues in many more ways than just being here…for a long, long time.

My mother, the lady who GENERATIONS of people know simply as either “Auntie Sheila” or, in bigger, more memorable terms if you are NOT her actual blood – “Sister Sheila,” and of these two, the latter is the one that she earned, because even as she was the wife of the minister, my father, she still was the type of Preacherʻs wife who was part of her husbandʻs congregation – NOT only as Pastor Ronʻs wife. RARELY did my mother hold herself in higher esteem, as being better than, more than, un-equal to my dadʻs congregation.

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…and each of those people – many who I still am in touch with – would agree with me in that they each and all knew that if there were going to be a set of people who would help, and if there were going to be a set of people who would go to the proverbial mat for them, it would be Brother (as opposed to “Pastor”) Ron and Sister Sheila.

Again…they would agree with me.

They would agree with me -EVERY ONE OF THEM – in that right this moment, while she is so, so physically ill that my mom, their hanai Auntie, Sheila – DOES NOT DESERVE THIS CRAP.

There is a pair of people in this community in which my parents have resided for as long as anyone can recall – there are two women who are putting our family to task over, of all things, a very poorly written, and equally confusing as well as misleading bunch of rules that are three years older than my youngest child who just turned thirteen this past July.

This past July these same two people were up my okole about when it was that I was going to be able to get rid of my ex-husband from the front of this community, even though she KNEW what I had just been put through by him – the only thing that mattered, now that I think about it was NOT THIS PLACE, but HER POSITION IN THIS PLACE as manager. According to the police, it was THEIR opinion, each and every time, that SHE would get the protection for what SHE deems HER responsibility, instead of the people who she states she does not want to have issues with. This is the way that things have always been run here – with the bottom dollar line in mind, and I have had enough of these people making all these rules that they have no idea do not hold water.

Just because it is in writing, it does not mean that it is legal (thank you Michelle for reminding me of this much) and just because this is how you want it to be, it does not justify the reasons behind why it is that they WANT TO do this TO my parents.

I looked at it…this document, and I suggest that everyone else in this joint do the very same thing. You might find out that all along, no matter what, indeed, your rights to quiet enjoyment were rocked more than one time, all in the name of the gas meter, or the damned tree guys or, my new favorite reason (read: EXCUSE)…because of the PARK RULES and rules that DO NOT give ANY KIND OF benefit to the MAJORITY of people who live in this place.

For the record – no, my intention is NOT to stay here forever, like a lot of people want to believe. If you were here like I am, you would agree with me in that these people NEED to accommodate more than (their words) the whims of the owner, and an owner who, in twenty years, my parents have not ever met.

These people here have never been really that inclined to actually do anything for anyone else OTHER than their damned selves or, yeah…”the owner.”

It is because my dad had the guavas to stand up, not only for himself, but also for the residents here who he calls his neighbors. My father is a veteran, is a retired educator and minister, and his entire energy is Aloha and the sharing of it. Daddy loves people, and he loves having friends. His family is everything. My mother is his life.

This is Daddy…Unko Ronnie….Brother Ron.

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He is the epitome of “Hawaiian Unko” and I am pissed that these two haole women with no reason OTHER than that they can have decided that the rules here are more important than the health of the residents who they swear they do not want a problem with, even though this is exactly what they are doing – causing grief, almost to the point of being abusive, for my parents.

When other homes are having refurbishing work done in this park, no one bothers with asking how the people in the house are physically doing and go on the assumption that we are dragging our feet, and we are so not. Every time Mom has to go to the hospital, it taxes this household, and it does so because of one truth that is also the truth in many more minority households, and specifically Hawaiian households – work stops, and the family gathers around the sick person, and this is the truth of our house, too.

We are Hawaiians.

We live by the rules of and speak Aloha fluently here, and we have extended this much and at all times to EVERYONE with whom we come into contact. It is a complete aberration to the Hawaiian Soul to know that we have treated people in so lovely a manner that when it comes to the work that my mom desires being done, and we can get that work done for nothing, that is called being gifted with Aloha by others for whom she has done much for, as well. She has, they have, done so much for so many people, and right now, I am one of those people who is getting her on the good side and always I have been this for her….always been the one who has volunteered to get her back, and this time, I do not do this alone. 

They call me Mom, and he calls me Pineapple, and the rest of them call me Auntie or Rox or Mapu…does not matter – I do not come into this alone.

I might not have always agreed with her or my father, as many of those church congregants can tell you that this is the truth. What they can also tell you is that there is no one on this planet who deserves to be treated like a queen MORE than my mother, simply for the way which she treated people.

She was kind and gentle, even as she was firm with them, and they all loved her for it. I was told more than one time that “Sister Sheila is like my Tia” and to this day that same energy exists.

I do not have to ask them.

I know this is their truth.

Fast forward to now, when my mom, Auntie Sheila, Sister Sheila, is so so sick, and fast forward to now, when my father, Brother Ron, Unko Ronnie, is so very dearly emotionally and mentally and now physically taxed….

…and all she asked for was that her kitchen be redone.

It was not in need of repair – it was just old, and she wanted it done, and she asked that it be done. Yet they could not afford to keep hiring people who would find every reason as to why they could not (read: DID NOT WANT TO) finish the job, which left it undone.

Undone is what I am thinking certain individuals want me to do – to come completely undone over this, specifically knowing that I have issues, and specifically since they asked me – specifically SHE asked me – if I were going to do something for the community, pretty much, and get my kidsʻ dad to go away back in July. It was no easy task, and I was always very forthcoming, as well as honest, with these people, always giving them a reason why it is that things are as they are.

Things, as they are, are quite chaotic.

And this is where I am calling on the help of my fellow Kanaka Maoli.

I need for you each and all to PLEASE kokua me and SHARE THIS TO ALL YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA PROFILES…please….Auntie Sheila is very sick, and Unko Ronnie is not okay, and these two haole women do not want to think to be compassionate, because they think we have had already too much time.

My mother asked that the interior of her home be made new.  She wanted things to be different than they have been for years, and she wanted to not see the things that plagued our family for a very long time, and something that she, in her heart, knew that my sister and I would go to the mat for her because of. This is her home, and as her eldest child, it is my duty, I feel, to make certain that she gets what sheʻs wanted, what she still wants the very most: Her kids and her grandkids to be with her in beautiful surroundings, preferably her home. 

Now these two haggathas who KNOW that there is and HAS BEEN work being done on this house want to get rid of the work-space that is needed and placed out in front of Momʻs home to be towed, as though it wonʻt bring severe and undue harm to my mom, and more than even I can think to be the truth. Right now the work that has been done has been done by people who want her to have what she wants and these people are not stopping at anything, not even by the threats made by two women who wield their false power over people who they KNOW have ZERO ability to really fight back and they are taking an old man to task in a very abusive way.

If anyone in this house and on this planet knows anything about the machinations of abusers it is and will always be me and right this moment I am stating that those two women are abusers, of the elder sort, because they will not be reasonable in allowing that the work-space that is here be allowed to be here UNTIL THE WORK IS DONE. No one puts anyone else to task like they do and have done to my dad for years and I have had the hell enough already. I will not be the one, and neither will I allow it, that these people make my dad or my mom or anyone who is here working or living here – I will not allow them to do this to them and I am taking it to the court of public opinion, these things that are making these two women of “settler” descent do this to people who are of a browner shade of American than they are.

My father, again,  is a veteran, a former educator and a retired Christian minister, a grandfather and father and someone who would rather help, than bring harm to, his community. There is no one who knows him who can state otherwise.

My mother is the only Tutu lady my kids have and lots of other kids have ever had, and to have it be that the thing that the managers of this place want to do – take away my momʻs ONLY MEANS of having the work done, which is donated hands and backs and tools and years and years of experience, all of whom I am dearly and closely connected to. The people in charge of this place want to enforce things, and my thinking is that it is out of fear, out of a need to control, and out of a need for someone else to have their way at the expense of other people.

No matter what.

I am even gonna go there – I also think it is over money, which is the reason why I am planning to offer them some, just so that my mother can get what I know is her truest heartʻs desire – to be able to invite people into her home again, so that she can extend the thing that she has always, to anyone at all – her essence, which is not but that of the truest, deepest Aloha known to anyone….at all.

And it is very indicative of the thing that we are all going through right now with this current presidential administration in that the woman putting us all to task is the manager of this community.

It appears to me, and this after I have asked other residents – my parentsʻ neighbors and fellow community members – and they all agree with me in that it is wrong to put people to task if those people are in dire straights. Physically, my parents are being given undue stress, over I what I feel is nothing more than a symbol for them to wield their non-power.

I donʻt often let people know how much money I make but let it be well known now – I do not make a shitload of money but when it comes to helping others, it is almost as though the Universe hears my need and always my need includes helping other people. There is no one on this planet who knows me any other way than this way. I will help anyone. There is no one who does not know this if they also know me.

No….I am not looking for money. I am looking for support, for voices and for people to get the backs of these two lovely people who the world knows as “Unko Ronnie and Auntie Sheila.” I am looking for my fellow Hawaiians and the fellow community members to speak up and out in their behalf, and yeah – hell yeah if you are in any way at all connected to the legal community, the old people advocacy community, the community that is human and not anti-human.

This is what I need. If I am coming to the public for support, and you know me, then you know this is my truth.

And knowing me is not the thing that makes it the truth. Knowing me means also that you know my parents, Ron and Sheila, very well. I am sort of a private person, even though my working life is lived online publicly. I Am an ordained minister. I Am an educator. I Am everything that I am meant to be right now at this time in my life and the one thing that I have been known for, for years, is that indeed – I Am a most eloquent warrior, a most eloquently aspired feminist and of course, there is NOT ONE PERSON ALIVE AND ON THIS PLANET WHO KNOWS ME WHO WILL STATE DIFFERENTLY. This is where I will start the actual thing that I am trying to tell the reading world who has a heart.

Point blank and pretty much, the manager here in this park is about to take away my dadʻs means of passive income. The reason for this income is simple – as a life coach and student, a mom of three kids, a person who has to pay her bills and help out her parents with what little money she has… I Am again being put to task and this time by the managers of this place – a place that is named POMONA ISLANDER.

Yes, it is a mobile home park, and yes, it is named this and yes, my mom and dad have lived here for a long, long time – long enough to have seen three different manager pairs come and go and of them all, this pair has to be the very most…difficult…to deal with. The interesting thing about management in this place is that they live here rent free, likely in exchange for pay. That is fine. The problem is not their living or their arrangements, but, the idea that my mom is very sick, and they know it, and they are being ugly about it, over what I think is a money thing, because they think I believe them when they tell us that “the owner” is telling them this – that the work on the house cannot get done, because the work-station which is parked out in front of their house is there and there, according to the manager and the outdated “rules and reg” of this place – and rules and regs that cancel out each other….that it is there as an eyesore, when in reality it is there and placed there as a work space for the work that is intended here on my momʻs house.

It is where everything that is needed to get it done is contained, and they are taking my dad to task over how long it is taking to get the work done – they want to move it, and if it doesntʻ get moved, they have threatened to tow it, not caring one tiny little bit that my momʻs health is part of the reason that it is there to begin with. 

And really, these women are amazingly brazen in their actions, and incredibly…ignorant….to the rights as well as the laws in terms of the rights of people and their right to lots of things. I am sorry, but, when was it again, ladies, that you were any sort or kind of MD, and when was it that you were the cops, and when was it again that you were intending to steal the work space that belongs to my dad and my guy and if you take it, you are GOING TO end up being arrested, not just for theft, but more, for elder abuse.

When it came down to it, these managerial women here were the ones who decided that my parentsʻ home does not need what my mom wants done, which is the “luxury” of no more reminders of the abuser who was in her house and refused to leave.

Now these abusers are the ones in charge, it appears and according to THEIR understanding of these written wrongs as they are outlined in the rules and the like for this place. You might think that after all these years, and after the entire time that they have been here and NOT caused any problems for anyone, that these people would be able to be lots more…compassionate.

Yet, they are not. When they were told of my momʻs chronic (and getting worse) physical condition is what it is, one of their answers was “…and?” and the otherʻs was “So?” and all they are worried about, in my opinion, is not just money, which I am prepared to offer, but, control. And when we are talking about control and money and yeah…haole  folks…in the middle of a town that is PRIMARILY MINORITY….Pomona, California….on old people who, one of them is sick enough to be hospitalized, on average, at least twice a month since July.

Since July the only thing that she has said to me is that she would love it if her house could be redone.

So, being who I am, I did what I needed to do in order that this could happen for her. This was before my own money has been impeded, but, none the less, I still came through for her – WE came through for her, and now these two horrid women want to take that away from my mom, as if it is not going to make her condition worse and the one thing that I would like to know is when was it that we were any kind of problem for you in terms of the thing parked in front of my parentsʻ house and more – when was it that you two hags were allowed to write the LAW let alone the rules that neither of these two women seem to have read or understood.

Let it be well known that when you hand a contractor in the state of California a contract to read, if that contractor has ANY KIND OF MIND AT ALL, that person WILL TELL YOU when it is that the contract becomes null and void and does so within the language used in said same document, and a document that has, by my own seeing it, not changed one time in the time that these two people who I call “Mom and Dad” have been here….which is a very long time. In that time I have found that my father is not the only person who knows how to read things the way that they are meant to be read, and when I read what it was that they showed me, I read, too, that the things contained in that document are not easily supported by the laws in this state, and if they want to take me, specifically, to task, I am game.

It helps that I am not exactly stupid, neither scared, of two haole women in a town populated heavily by minorities who are sick to death of being told we are equal, yet still, when it is possible, ably seeing evidence of white privilege, with my Hawaiian parents being punished for being sick, old, and without us here, empoverished to a sickening degree, while these two haole women decide on their own that they will be who decides what my mom deserves from her kids, her grandkids and this young man who hails from another place and who their eldest daughter – me – calls The Maestro.

They will decide what is right for themselves, using the invisible owner who drives by our specific house once a week….and complains about the portable work-space that is NEEDED for the work at hand.

I bitch about my parents a lot – I would…I AM THEIR FIRST BORN KID who, as much as anyone else “first born” and “Kanaka” knows…we do not get to have a childhood until much later in life. I chose that my childhood would be spent perpetually on a college campus first as what I am now, which is haumana, to become what I AM BY BIRTH…which is Kumu, Kahu and everything else AKAMAI and given the right to Hoʻomana others, to empower them, SPECIFICALLY if they are not able, themselves, to do it, and more importantly, right this moment, with those in need of my particular gift of communication to the masses, and get the backs of two very kindly old people….Mr. And Mrs. Ronald and Sheila Soares…the pastor and his wife.

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There is not a lot, even though I bitch a lot, that I will not do for these two people – I mean come on….they ARE my mom and dad, and for all of the things that I can bitch about, there are twenty times more that I can praise about, and this time, I get to be my own hired gun, my own advocate against the thing that makes me want to hurl, which is harming old people. I Love my parents, donʻt want to see them go through more and anymore now everything that happens in their lives can have major seriously ugly impact. I am trying to keep them around for when my sister has kids, and I am trying to keep them around so that the young people at the Arise program can learn the old ways.

Contained within the pastor and his wife are the things that we, as Hawaiians, need to know. My parents have loved the rest of the human population for the entirety of their lives. Now these two haoles are harming my parents and no matter what I say to them, no matter how much Kawika says to them, no matter how well they know Kahakuloa and the little man – they are being very….haole…and they would be, because that is what they are.

Those people who #AllUsGuys refer to as being damned haoles.

They cannot help but show, and I cannot help but see them being damned haoles.

Let me remind you, each of you, that I am not one who sees color, race, sexual preference….I am only one who can see these things when these are the things that are being presented to me, and from the moment I met this person called Cyndi, I felt like I did in kindergarten, which was very, very brown.

Making me feel like I was lesser than they were, but, at this time in my life as an adult, I ainʻt havinʻ it that way, and I ainʻt letting these..uneducated…women, of haole descent…take away what a small crowd of people who refer to these two old people as “Grandma and Papa,” “Mom and Dad,” and yeah…hell yeah, his friend, Ron….the guy who fathered his girlfriend.

This is all about Love, not control, at least for us and ours.

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Typically I am not what I KNOW I am being right now, which is motivated by factors outside of my control, in this particular instance, that of race and skin color, but the more that I look at this tiny microcosm of society, the more that I know, for real and for sure, that this place is being thought of as their own towers bearing their name, much like a not-so-esteemed “leader” of this country wants to think that he is – which is empowered rather than ignorant to actual life and kept within a tight little bubble of privilege, and privilege that is not now and neither has ever been presented to my parents. They are due more than what most would be, for the simple fact that my parents have always been those sort who have followed rules, even when they do not understand them.

I, on the other hand, am not that peaceful person, or at least not that type of peacekeeper. I am the sort who will see the fight for what it will end up being, which is a victory for one of the parties. In this case, this is not a fight, but a time of revelation for two women who, I know at least one of them, has gotten away with this sort of thing for far too long. It is not theirs to take away the livelihoods of people, yet, in this one instance, their own words tell me that they donʻt give a shit – they will take away what they want to, and none of the residents have any say so about it. If you guys knew what my mom guys have been through, what I have been through with them, not just now, but ever since I can recall – it has been the three of us. I have been there, next to my dad, arguing, fighting with people for what is right, or against them, trying our best to make things fair, balanced for everyone.

It is, by his right, all I know, and right now, he needs to see that I listened to what was his message. His message was NOT about hating haoles – it was about making certain that people treated us fairly, like most haole people are still treated in comparison to those who are a browner shade of American born citizen, and when the fuck was it that we were EVER going to be equal to people like the two haole women who police this joint as though it were their own …orange hued kingdom…to put it very very nicely, and far nicer than I care to.

And no…for the record…and there are PLENTY OF YOU READING THIS RIGHT NOW who can and ought to attest to the idea that I LOVE EVERYONE, regardless of your origins – you are not your descendants. You are not your ancestral history – you are you and because you are you I Love You. You are all ….haha…you are all Hawaiian to me, and this is why I Love You – because you practice, actively, this thing called, and speak fluently, this language I have spoken as the only one that I know, even now, when I am so very angry – you are all very well learned in the art, the language and the energy that is Aloha.

It is why I love you so very dearly much.

Everyone who knows me knows this about me, in that I will ask people to help me if I know that they can, and now is not different. My momʻs house has been under repair for some time now, and it is taking time for us to complete the work, and yes – as has been mentioned, I cannot afford a whole lot, and already, I am who has been feeding the house for years now. Couple that with what little I make as a life coach, and more than that, the idea that I am on academic grants (scholarships) and of course, I have help from the county because my time in this town has caused me to see how the other half lives, and in that time I have found out that the broker the ass that you are, the browner you become in the eyes of the not-brown and yes, indeed, this is how this feels.

If these women knew that the thing that they are proposing is the thing that will end my parents and if they cared more about things than keeping in line these people who they would not bother with if they were not managers here, I would not be sitting here writing this.

Yet, here I sit writing this in hopes that there is some sort of something that I can do in order to keep her from basically stealing my work-space out front, and yeah – I am at that point where I am willing to work with them in terms of handing over some payola, because that is what this reminds me of – they want us to give up what is ours, and already, we have given up a whole lot, and in my case, almost my sanity.

So here we are, with these women picking on my elderly parents, and I already have my own words in a court of law in terms of another haole abusing them – it is not okay that they are doing this to my parents when my mom is so very sick. It is actually not okay at all, for any reason, or towards anyone, at all. 

And they did not care that she is as sick as she is, and I know that she is, because my father just texted me with her condition. She will not be home today. They are keeping her in hospital care, for however long she needs it.

And the managers here?

They told my dad, after heʻd told the assistant manager that my mother is so sick, and her words to him, exactly were “…and? WE feel you have had enough time…” without thinking that it costs a whole LOT to take care of someone like my mom. Her insurance is not covering all of it, and my father is retired, as is she, and so enter the rest of us.

The rest of us – my oldest son, my only daughter, my other half (in terms of someone being around at times for my dad to have someone who is NOT my 24 year old son…someone who understand what the man is going through…yes, my guy DOES) who are putting our time and energy into this project, and me who can barely afford this but who does not see the dollar amount and can only see her mother being so, so very ill…in fact the very sickest she has ever been in her entire life…in my entire life….48 years in 8 days.

Thatʻs a long, long time.

And when we gave these women this message, they were very condescending, very very…uncaring to the idea that here was this old man of 81 years whose entire life is now encased in the care and the worry that he is going through, and of course, he, too, wants her to have what she cannot have any other way than the way that it is being done at this time. At this time the work that is being done is being done as a labor of love. My parents have been through so much over the course of their almost 60 year marriage and in that time, I came along and I have been their warrioress, their Wahine Nui Loa, the one who came to their side, no matter what…every…single…time.

Now is not different. As long as they live and breathe, it will not ever be different. I will always be the one who champions them.

Always.

I have gone through so very much with them, for them, because of them. No. I do not owe them. I Am their eldest child, and in those terms, it is my Kuleana, as a Hawaiian person, to not allow ANYONE AT ALL to harm them.

My Kupuna would turn in their graves if I did not go to the mat for these people I call “Ma” and “Pops” and they would be disappointed in my lack of effort, in my lack of better use of my high IQ and my prowess for words and my gift towards research and my absolute power of communication and gathering the masses.

Then there is that whole….Kahuna thing. If there was ever one thing that my father told me, throughout my life, it is to NEVER LET MY GIFTS AND TALENTS BE AT WORK FOR EVIL, and this time, it is being used for the good of my mom and dad.

My mother has never ever been anything but lovely to one of these women, and the other woman has not ever even met my mom – all she knows is that I live here with them and that my mom is very, very ill, and to have these women who have no idea of who this lady is, and to hear them tell this lovely womanʻs husband that pretty much, he is not going to get to finish anything that has been started on behalf of this woman who he loves so very dearly much?

And now these women want to make it a big damned deal about this work-space being where it is, and they want to take it away – this, after everything that my father has done in his life, including, but never ever limited to the idea that he is helpful, offers help, and in return, people have been horrid to them?

This is my rallying cry – I am calling out to all my fellow Kanaka Maoli, and I am asking you all to please help me with this, because my mom is so sick, and my dad just wants her to have what we all feel she is due, which is a change of her surroundings. That we have not been able to do all of the work only points to the very obvious: That we are spending money on her health care, and we are being put to task by these two haole women who are somehow in the thought that they are able to enforce THEIR specific rule onto two lovely elderly Hawaiians.

And they call this place THE POMONA ISLANDER mobile home park….like there are no Hawaiians living in it or something – are you kidding me? LIKE I DONʻT KNOW THEM OR SOMETHING, and I promise I do. Once they see this?

They might want to dig an imu but….

What I would like to know is where it is written that since you are the manager of anything, that you have supreme rule and more than that – when was it okay that you would tell all of us that you do not want any problems with the residents, but, over whatever it is that you are doing this stuff for I do not know …you are not doing things the way that good humans do it.

I have to believe that you are lying, ladies, because the things that we have been told are things that you do not realize we are onto you.

At this time in our collective history, you would think that people would come together in a place like Pomona, and would deal with people – old non-white people, in a town which is 75% hispanic, let alone minority, period, and here are these two women who want us to believe that this is not about control and about power and these two are going to do whatever it is that they want to, all so that they can keep control, instead of what we all know they should do. Their excuses are many, but none of them hold water, and their reasons are completely unreasonable, simply because I have, personally, told THEM BOTH what is going on and the FACT that the movable work-space that is out in front of my parentsʻ house is somehow impeding THEIR lives.

We are being shown, at least in my opinion, the same thing that has gone on for a long time in the islands of my origin – that those who show up in the islands, since they believe themselves to be there because they were brought there by some outer force that is bigger and more holy than are any of these people who basically put food in their selfish pie holes (and while these two haoles pay no or reduced rent, while everyone elseʻs rents go up regularly….privilege? Wanna talk about it? Wanna hear my take on what I see from my brown side of the street in this very brown town, ladies, if I could dare to call either of you that?). We are, my ohana and I, being told that since it is that this paper that bears NO JUDGEʻS STAMP ON IT, and ONLY the very confused way these rules and regs were written, with ONLY THE OWNERSHIP IN MIND AND NOT ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT THE RESIDENTS….I would like to know when the hell it was that what we are doing for my sick mother here on this side of your version of a broke-ass orange-faced empire somehow makes your specific lives harder than any of the residents in this place, and residents who I have been told you do NOT want to have a problem with.

At the time that this was said to me, I took it as meaning that this manager of this place wanted to work with us all, namely when it is that you were, manager lady, told the things that were going on, that there was significant work needing to be done on this house, and how lovely is it that I have a son, a guy and a buncha young men who were ready to work.

I was wrong, apparently.

What you meant was that you did not want to have a problem with the residents understanding that you would get your way, no matter what, even if it means that you have to become abusive through means other than your own self, using only pieces of paper to make certain that you are right, because that is what this is about. What you meant was exactly what a dirty cop would mean when giving a directive masked as a question or statement. Unfortunately, you did not think for one moment that anyone who has lived in this place as long as my parents have would be connected with people who have some sort of pull.

That would be me.

I Am that person who is not going to allow other people to pick on other people, for whatever it is that they think they have reason or right to do so. You will no longer pick on my parents, and if the local government wants to get in on it, I invite them, all of them, to come and see what the hell I am talking about. And if you do not think that I do not know these locals in this town – do NOT forget that I am ordained, and as such, am a public figure with a whole lot of backing, namely in this town, because we here HAPPEN TO RESPECT PEOPLE, NAMELY HE ELDERLY.

The word is Abuelita and I DARE YOU BOTH to treat someoneʻs Abuela like you have been treating Kahakuʻs, Gracieʻs and Joshuaʻs Abuelita….their Makuahine….their Grandmother and their Grandfather.  I dare you, both of you haoles, to treat someoneʻs Abuela like you have chosen to treat my mother. You will find yourselves, may still well find yourselves, at the mercy of the local media…haha…of which I am part.

My mom asked for certain things to happen FOR HER BENEFIT, and my people chose to answer her call. It is not HER FAULT that she got sick, and you are choosing, outright, through your callousness and your words of attrition to people who you think you have some sort of control over, but you donʻt, to pick on an old man whose wife is very sick. Your power is just your perception, and what it really is is just my proof that I am right.

It is about money, about control and white privilege. Evidence is EVERYWHERE in this park, all the way down to the young helper named Isaac who is not exactly haole.

To all my Kanaka Maolis, and my Hawaiians at heart…

What I am saying to you all is that it is my opinion that the woman in charge of this place is using a piece of outdated paper to control the people who are employing her as well as the people who she is SUPPOSED TO PROTECT THE INTERESTS OF and she IS NOT. It bothers me a lot that right now that Mom does not get to come home today, there are people on this planet who, for whatever reason it is that they THINK they have the power to do, for every one of those people is a person like me who is not willing to fight.

I donʻt fight. I discuss.

If there is no discussion, and this woman, once it is that I go to her and give her MY terms, she will soon find out what it means when I state to anyone that “WHEREVER WE ARE, HAWAII IS THERE, TOO” meaning that the phrase UA MAU KE EA O KA AINA I KA PONO absolutely applies in this instance, because I am here protecting the land and the home that is my motherʻs from the threat of the work being done continuing on to be incomplete.

To allow that a piece of paper be the thing that overrides anything only tells me that there IS money involved. Money that I am prepared to pay, all to keep the work going, no matter how slow it has to go, because in this house we follow Hawaiian rules, and when Tutu Wahine is sick – THE WHOLE DAMNED HOUSE TAKES CARE OF HER, even in her absence and NAMELY WHEN SHE IS PROMISED THINGS – things that she so dearly wants. To tell her eldest grandson, my oldest child, that he cannot accommodate his Tutu Lady is when that boy turns deaf. And when that loving child turns deaf, it means that someone has been mean to one of the four women in his life, Selina not yet included (at least to my own seeing…of course it is too soon to state…keep reading please) – his mother, his sister, his auntie and hell yes – HIS GRANDMOTHER, Kahakuloa will do what Kahakuloa plans on, no matter what. 

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It is the smallest price to pay, not just to get the work done for my parents but more – to reveal the truth, and the truth is that in my opinion, racism is alive and well in the hood, in Pomona, and I am made sick to my stomach by the very thought that they are actually thinking that they will get away with this privately.

To all my Kanaka Maolis from both sides of the ocean…please – share Unko Ronnieʻs and Auntie Sheilaʻs story.  These managers ought to be ashamed of themselves, choosing to pick on our Kupuna like this.

And hell yeah….Anyone Hawaiian knows better….my maiden name will be my legal name again, and my maiden name is SOARES….Portuguese….and in Hawaiian slang….PODAGHEE…and well, there is a reason WHY people who hail from Luso roots are accused of having PODAGHEE MOUTʻ

I will get my way, or, I will run my Podaghee moutʻ

Try test me…go…go try….

#HaoleIsAsHaoleDoes #PomonaIslanderMHP #PTOWN91768 #Hawaiians #LosAngeles

#DCinSoCal #Women #TheResInTheHood #StateOfCalifornia #ElderAbuse #VAWA

#LosAngelesKahunaRox #HeebieJeebieAuntieRox #MedicineWomanMapu #KaliponiKahuMapu #LAKahuRox22

#TheCrabAndTheFish #MaNPaMetal

PULE (Pray)

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PULE

(Pray)

The photo is of my daughter, my mother, and my kid sister on my daughterʻs graduation day.

I am sitting here at this moment thinking about things, because right this moment, my mom is in the ER, and right this moment, I am thinking about my youngest who is going into high school next year and  yeah…I am sort of worried.

I cannot imagine what those people in Florida are going through.

There are a lot of young people there, and there are a lot of old people there. I am concerned for both sets of people, as both sets of people are represented in this photograph.

In fact, a whole lot is represented in this photograph.

Such as the hope of graduation from high school, which is the rite of passage into adulthood. I have watched this twice now – my oldest, Kahakuloa, and my daughter, Gracie.

Then there is Joshua. He is 13 and in middle school. He is a beautiful child with a heart of gold that lately has been broken easily. Same thing with the girl in the photograph – actually both girls, and the old girl taking the photo – me….we are all upset because my mom is very sick these days.

I do not know how to feel. All I know is that we are, the entire human race, is in mourning right now, over a whole, whole lot, and everyday we are treated to more trauma by these people who have no idea how to treat others …they just keep on taking things away from us.

So, Hawaiians….we should just do what we do, return to our souls and raise the Aloha vibration and send it out to the world.

Yeah…sisters, brothers, I know – we have enough on our minds as is but this is who we are. We are the people of Aloha, as much as we are the People of the Water, and it is our duty in this world to be there for others, even when we believe that not enough has been done for us. It is at that point when I have to ask anyone at all why it is that they would choose rights over life at all?

I mean…I realize that I do not speak for us all but I also know that I speak for a vast majority of us when I state that now is NOT the time to bug about our own crap – right now, there are 17 lives no longer with us, and there are sets of parents who are not going to be doing the thing that I was doing on the day that my daughter graduated out of high school. We, as Hawaiian parents, all look forward to the day when we get to FINALLY pile those leis on that kid, look at these children in the eyes and see them there, as they were on the day that you sent them to kindergarten.

I keep telling people that the town I live in…it is lovely and filled with beautiful souls but, it was not always like this, and I did not always feel like this. It used to be a town filled with violence of the sort that was newsworthy.

I am glad we have become a boring little town where the only thing that we are famous for anymore is what we USED TO be like.

I am fine with it. I am here to help mend the wounds of this town, and they are the same kinds of wounds that I am sure are being nursed on the other side of the country right this moment, and I am not only talking about the actual physical kind, but the kind that we are all left with.

I say it a lot – we are a nation in mourning, a collective of people who are being primed for the need for things that we do not need, and things that we do not actually want but those in high office want us to believe this. They want us to be against each other, and they want to tell us who we are and they want to always, always, always take things from us, and they are important things.

Such as a childʻs right to grow up and become an adult, and an old personʻs right to be comfortable in life at a time that they worked towards having. Not everyone, I find, has been able to do the things that I have been blessed to have been able to do with these three women in this photo.

My daughter.

My mother.

My sister.

And we have always stuck together. The four of us.

Always.

Always my mom was there to guide and lead us, and always there to remind us to pray. Then Napua was born, and suddenly there was someone for me to be a good example for.

Then Jeremy….then Gracie, and again, someone to be an example for.

So, what do you, as a parent of a child tell your kid when their Tutu Lady is sick, and the world in which they have been born into feels like all it wants to do is make you pay for being a kid, again and again, and what do you do when it is that the Tutu in your life become dependent, not only on their ohana physically, but emotionally and mentally, as well, just so that they know that now, when they are like this, we are not going to abandon them, not going to shame them…not going to make them die alone.

And then Florida happens, and suddenly when you walk outside and you see your daughter helping her grandmother – your mother – into the family car, so that she can be taken to the ER, so that her health that is not getting worse, but also not getting better, is all you can think about….

And then you think, too, about the kids on the other side of the country, and you think, too, about the kids on the other side of the ocean, and then the kids who you share a lot of time with.

And then you think to yourself that the only thing that we can do is to come together and be one unit, to forget about who we are that makes us a stand alone people and remember who we are in the grander scheme of things and the role that we have to play and have been mightily blessed with, just because we are Kanaka Maoli, and the one thing that we have to remember about who we are, no matter where we are, is truly, we are Ka Poʻe o Aloha – the People of Aloha, as much as we are Ka Poʻe o Ka Wai….The People of the Water.

It is our duty to Be the Aloha in the world, no matter what is happening in your own private world, and no matter how you feel you are being slighted for someone elseʻs tragedy – to be crass, and to have all us guys on this side of the water read the things that a whole lot of people on that side of the water have said about why it is that any one of us should care about those kids in Florida….

Because…reread this please – WE ARE THE PEOPLE OF ALOHA….

Thatʻs why….

Aloha…here on the 9th, it is spoken fluently, and wherever I Am, it is spoken always.

We must Be the Aloha we wish to see in the world, you guys….we have this opportunity to be this everyday of our lives. It is a shame that too many of us are so jaded as to the things that we are versus the things that we are not. We focus on what we are not, way too much, and so much so that a lot of us forget, almost voluntarily, that we have a duty, a Kuleana in the world, to Be the Aloha…

We need to pray for each other. We need to be there for one another, and we are too busy asking who is this much blood versus not. We are more interested in voicing things that would make people believe that we are all like that – like we are all more interested in bitching about what we do not have versus being grateful for what we DO STILL HAVE which are 17 souls who are not gone from our lives….can you count 17 people who you know personally, and in that number of people, are you sure that you could live without them in your life, and if you are not sure, then why are you turning what is your arrogance into something that it ought to not be, which is something that these morons in office on the other side of the country want you to do.

And you are doing it.

I will not be doing that shit anymore – I will not, because I cannot and never have, tried to separate us – we cannot be what you want us to be, which is a kingdom. I said it, so deal with it.

What you ought to be is what you are, which is one of those people of Aloha

Be The Aloha

You would want people to give a shit about you and yours if you had to deal with this, right?

Yeah yeah whatevahs….go…go try tell me that crap again….

You would be beside yourself if someone was as cold as MANY people have been about the thing that happened to a bunch of CHILDREN on the other side of the country…if it happened in your town….

Pray.

Thatʻs all. Just frickinʻ pray, yeah?

If you cannot pray for the people in Florida, then at least pray for your damned self, or at least pray for my mom.

Just pray

People have forgotten how to pray

So Pray

#Pule

#KaPoEOKaWai

#ThePeopleOfAloha

#RIPParkland17

#MourningKahuRox22

 

NO ACK : Some words from a 9th Island Maoli about Gratitude, teaching others and mostly how it feels (sometimes) “being 9th”

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GRATITUDE

This photo was taken a few hours ago, right after the sun rose.

It is of a few of the kids, including my own, who are here all the time and who make this place more like a home than anything else could. Because of these guys and the others like them, I find that the thing that I am the very most grateful for, typically after the fourth Thursday in November, is not that we have enough to eat (present tense) but that always, we have managed to ensure that the family eats, everyday, even if it is just some saimin.

So, this means that I am very grateful for how resourceful we are, as a people, because if we were not, we would have died out a long time ago from starvation – NOT SYPHILIS FROM THE COLONISTS, at least not in this day and age, because medicine is modern (unless you are being treated by me…then you are getting help the old school way….)

Yes I have lots more to be grateful for, but food is a big one, seeing as to the reason how I, specifically, get it here and into this house and into those people in that photo.

To be grateful for things that we want all and only for ourselves is a beautiful thing but, when you have been able to be grateful for things that are enjoyed on the tangible plane but are tangible in the way that you cannot make those things be part of a collection (of trinkets) and when you are able to see past the things that hurt you (such as when your island born blood relations talk shit to you about you being 9th island – as if we had the choice to be born someplace else…assholes…) and made these times of the year a time that you reflect (and drink your memories into oblivion) on everything that you have gone through that hurt your soul (like my own fuckinʻ people talkinʻ shit, on the daily basis, as though that is going to make you and yours any less of a fuckinʻ douchebag for having talked shit…) and marred and scarred your psyche (from all da waha in da moutʻ) , even if it was a very long time ago (like fuckinʻ COLONIAL TIMES, YOU FOLKS…YOU FOLKS STILL REELING FROM COLONIAL TIMES- YEESH!) , and even- yes especially even if you are Tutu…. (who some used to know the guy who invented the horse drawn wagon…donʻt you drive a car or at least ride a Harley? THOSE THINGS HAVE MOTORS and ARE NOT COLONIAL…KEEP FUCKINʻ READING! YEESH!)

Yeah…oh yeah is this post about all of the things that I am seeing online, not only on social networks, but, I have received emails regarding the idea that there are still some of us who want to divide us. Now the big thing is calling Hawaii “My Mainland” when just a little while back, the one thing that no one from there wanted to have a thing to do with was that word, in relation to who they are as Hawaiians, let alone human beings, it was a sin of grand proportions to call anything and anyone from there “mainland” anything …

,,,and now you folks like talk shit…still like talk shit, as though you are not harming us who are ACTUAL MAINLAND HAWAIIANS WHO HAVE SPENT OUR LIVES FIGHTING FOR EQUALITY WITH YOU PEOPLE AND NOW LOOK…you gonʻ use what you disdained?
WHY??? THAT IS WHAT YOU TOLD US – that we are not you folks, but, now you use OUR words and the thing that make us particular to this place…as though it fuckinʻ applies to you and it DOES NOT – you could NOT hang here, and that is just because over here, we are actually GANGSTA…we fuckinʻ invented the shit…

Argue with me…go…go foʻ it…no can….no moʻ da ten freeway, the drive bys, the crackhouses that could take up the entire BLOCK where my Nana guys used to live

Please stop with the ugliness. We are a beautiful people and it makes it hard on us all – even you guys over there – when we choose to see what is not the same and you…SOME of you, chose, of all things, something that we cannot choose…

…that answer to the question… Where were ya born, mang? (Yeah – MANG…it is a MAINLAND TERM…ask a fuckinʻ actual homey  and NOT SOMEONE ACTING LIKE THEY ARE…to explain…)

And yeah…I am just a little bit bugged about it, because the thing that I know, personally, that I refuse to do is hide my hubris behind words that not long ago, many of us would not even dare think. Now there are some calling it your ʻmainlandʻ and well, fine and good and all that other shit but, this also means that there is a trade to be made because once AGAIN you are DIVIDING US AND THIS PARTICULAR MAINLAND (for real kine even…from LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA) AUNTIE ainʻt havinʻ anymore of it WITHOUT having shit to say…

Seeing that I am part Portuguese…yʻall KNOW I have PLENTY to say, and frankly, just from all of those statements being made online, you are forgetting about us WHO ACTUALLY WERE BORN HERE – you hated us before, and now you are using the thing that you hated about us to make yourselves feel like you are somehow superior to us and you are so not.

You are forgetting that as much as you get offended by things that have nothing to do with you, we also get offended at things that have nothing to do with you, and well, THE MAINLAND UNLESS YOU ARE HAWAIIAN BORN HERE, BY RIGHT OF YOUR SAYING SO, has nothing to do with you WITHOUT US, including the use of a word that many of you behaved was way worse than the word “fuck” – “MAINLAND” – …THE 9th ISLAND BRAND OF HAWAIIANS.

When you talk shit like that, online, and you make it as though since it is that you were clever enough to use what words you used to use against us to empower yourselves…you are not better than those who came over and divided us back then, in the time of the colonists and you have never been – deal with it and the fact that you know this is the fuckinʻ truth.

I know that I am not making any friends this way but still…it hurts, and we are done hurting over stupid shit. I, specifically, am pau with your bullshit, and I, specifically, dare any one of you to try to stop me from making it known – YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN WE ARE, AND THAT WORD “MAINLAND” IS OURS and it applies to US. (THERE – how is THAT for division…you wanna argue with me? GO FOR IT, but, you are NOT GONNA WIN…I PROMISE)

I have a lot of love for my fellow Hawaiians, no matter where you are from, no matter what side of the ocean you hail from.

I have very little tolerance for ignorance, specifically the sort that is chosen and I keep wondering why it feels like no matter what, you need a common enemy and you need people to be moʻ bettah den and I am so sorry to enlighten you each and all who feel this fuckinʻ way….it ainʻt us.

Choose another group to hate and not the one with the same end result that you have- the right to be recognized as Hawaiians, regardless of where we were  born and more, where it is that we CHOOSE to live our lives. You do not have the right to judge if you, yourselves, are not also willing to be judged as harshly. I asked some of my ohana over there and those guys ALL TOLD ME THAT THEY DO NOT LIKE WHAT YOU ARE DOING because you are again dividing us, and if that is what you are doing – making nice with us til you get your way and then we can go fuck ourselves…in the famous words of the lead singer of Judas Priest – Youʻve got another thing cominʻ…

Yeah..I PROMISE…

We ainʻt scared to stand and fight for us, but we ainʻt gonna fight with us FOR us because that puts others who want division in the lead, and well, no…no no fuck no is that gonna happen

Me and my Podaghee moutʻ will have none of it

Try me

Go…go try…not gonʻ work. I am still gonna be here, and I am still gonna make it known to the world, namely the world of the Kanaka Maoli THE WORLD OVER (so yeah…GET THE FUCK OVER IT – THIS THING WITH DIVIDING US…for FUCK SAKE already!) that we are NOT going to take this shit anymore, and it wonʻt matter who you are or who you think you are…we are here, in droves and we ainʻt gonna stop, we ainʻt gonna stand down…not for those for whom we fight and who continue to disdain us.

I did not spend the bulk of my almost 48 years on this planet teaching the old people in my life how to NOT be shitty people, let alone shitty Hawaiians.

I cannot imagine why anyone would WANT to be a shitty human being OR shitty Hawaiian person. I guess it is all they know but, guess what?

I KNOW MORE…

And so, too, do a whole LOT of us here, because we have HAD TO do it this way – we got tired, collectively, of the very few over there making life being a 9th Island Maoli somehow shameful, and it AINʻT. You and yours donʻt make us and ours. Us guys here are the same as you folks there and the moment that YOU ALL GET THIS MUCH STRAIGHT, UNDERSTOOD AND FUCKING ACCEPTED AS A TRUTH YOU DO NOT WANT TO ACCEPT…this is when you and me and all of us will see that thing called change in our culture. We fight so hard against being what the colonists wanted us to be, and here we are, a few us of, being the bitches that we care to be, by right of “I moʻ bettah den you ʻcause I stay born in da ʻAina” and if that is all youʻve got?

Try again.

When we read those things, it hurts us, not just me – it hurts a whole lot of Hawaiian people who were born, raised and call the actual Mainland USA “Home.” That you will continue to disdain us and now, make it as if you have to take from us what you think the rest of the world has taken from you is the only thing that at least this mainland Auntie sees.

You want us to get over it, but, the truth is that you are not better than we are, and the thing that I see the most is that you want solidarity but you want it YOUR FUCKIN WAY and guess what?

We exist, too, and we are tired of hurting because you seem to refuse to accept that some of us actually LOVE our status as Mainland Hawaiians – who the hell else is going to be able to share our Maoli ways better than us, and here, in that place that a few of you STILL want to disdain, but seem to not see past that thing called a ZIP CODE?

To those who still want it this way, you actually need us….yeah, I said it, so damned well deal with it…you need us because we actually speak “mainland” and those who wish to keep us divided do not and would not come close to giving our brand of Aloha the way that it is pertinent to us, and pertinent but NOT WRONG ….

WE ARE US GUYS TOO – Rock and roll us….spa-going us…yoga doing, superfood eating, freeway speeding, middle-finger flipping, road raging and shit-talking when it matters, head banging, pop-locking, gay-barring, womensʻ rights protesting, Aloha-with-metal-horns-up-and-unconditional-love-not just because we can do it (because we are that bad ass)…KANAKA MAOLIS of the 9th ISLAND SORT

You canʻt be us, as much as we cannot be you, but, we can be unified…whether you want to accept or believe that is on you. All I can say is that for as long as at least I have been alive, there has been a lot of talk about forgetting this whole two sides of the ocean thing but not a lot from those who can make the difference in terms of making it that way globally. Not all of you talk shit, but, the ones who do act like we donʻt hear you

What I would like to know is when the hell it was that you were told it was okay to fuck with and bully your own people? Was it your father or your mother who he used to abuse, or was it your auntie who used to beat the shit out of you and talk shit afterwards, as though you deserved it?

Haha…yeah…we all have that one auntie, and we all have to clean the messes that the generations prior to ours made, and here are a whole lot of you preferring the mess, because somehow, that dented and WRONG perception of power of thought over other people within your ethnicity is like chocolate pie to a fat guy..ono, even though itʻs gonna make your okole that much bigger.

Still, some of you eat and eat and eat away at that pie as though somehow, you are not that same fat guy with the big okole…no, you are not…

Youʻre WORSE than he is

Believe it or not – that shit talking hurts us…a LOT

Things that hurt us as children, when those things go unchecked, become the things that haunt us and make us become the adults we are.

For a whole lot of us, this means that we had to not only endure those who were meant to teach us how to be Hawaiian also thought like a few of you still do – that no matter how Hawaiian we are, we will never be Hawaiians from over there, and that shit has to stop, and you donʻt have to stop it yourself or from you doing it, but, we wonʻt get closer to that goal of actual native recognition without it. You can fight that truth all you want, even until it gives you heart palpitations and high blood pressure – you still will only get as far as you have gotten thus far.

I am so sorry, but you need our help – otherwise, all you are doing is TALKING SHIT

Prove me otherwise…I implore you….and good luck with it because the thing that I am talking about is the thing that depends on who else hates people by right of their place of birth or residence.

The collective of adults that we are in this present time is being shown to the world in the manner that we choose to defend who we are and vilify who we are not, namely if who we are not are these people who we were expected to be. We end up fighting tooth and nail against an old hurt, against a time when it was that perhaps it is that we, alone, felt so hurt by the things that were said.

Here we are, in this time, where we want to believe that we are stronger than we ought to give ourselves credit for, and the things that we are saying out loud and in writing and in public is where it is that this is all being revealed. Within that revelation, you see, is your truth, a few of you, when you tell us, when you tell the world, that not only have you talked shit about things “Mainland” but you have chosen to give us here in the ACTUAL mainland another black fuckinʻ eye – did you really need to use our term?

It ainʻt like those who would talk shit are not talking shit now, not now that I have chosen to have the frikkinʻ “chick guavas” (called Podaghee moutʻ) it takes to make an entire group of people stop and take notice to the thing that is being denied, and the thing that is being denied are OUR EQUAL RIGHTS ON THE MAINLAND TO BE RECOGNIZED, as much as you folks there, want to also be recognized as KANAKA MAOLI – NATIVE HAWAIIANS.

You can and likely will see us still as broken, as the enemy, and all because YOU REFUSE TO WORK WITH US, believing that you will be able to change things through your divisiveness, and one that you make ours, us Kanaka Maoli here on the Mainland USA – or at least TRY REAL HARD TO make us feel like we are lesser than you who wanna keep this separation – you can fuckinʻ have it. .

You need an enemy…so you chose one that you know – other Hawaiians.

Like shooting fish in a barrel, yeah?

How fucking pathetic is THAT? (Yeah…I talk shit real good, donʻt I? I am a product of the actual ʻhood….hoodrat tita is what I am, and no, no you are not as hard ass as you wanna believe – no can…not with all that water around you. WTF else you wanna learn from us over here? That you ainʻt that bad ass unless you INCLUDE ALL OF US IN IT WITH YOU?)

We can say what we want to, in relation to who we are not, but until we feel like there is nothing left to fight against, we will fight, even when it is that the enemy is not “them” and not “us” but is the memory that keeps us there, in that place, where we are expected to just accept what has been given to us, for generations, and to believe those hurtful things.

Those hurtful things have no place in this energy called Aloha, no place for us to fit if what we are trying to do is to break those molds, those ways of being that for far too long and by those who are our own and in perceived power have bothered to try to make us believe.

When we choose to fight against that ….colonial…energy, rather than just living like we are not offended, living like we know who we are, we end up fucking ourselves up, and no matter who says what – we know who we are, and nothing that anyone else who is not us can make it so that we are those people who we have not ever been. 

We can bother to no longer be bothered by the past, bother to not allow those who took from us, long before we were even born, to affect who we are – we have the right, the ability, the akamai to make things be way, way different, and way way better than they have ever been.

We have to want it. ALL OF US – EVEN THOSE OF YOU OVER THERE WHO THIS APPLIES TO – STOP HATING ON US because WE ARE NOT THE ENEMY AND DAMMIT LEAVE OUR HOMELAND AND EVERYTHING IT HAS BLESSED US HERE WITH ALONE – stop picking on your own people. Nothing good comes from it, or did nothing that the OHA has done, for a long time now, NOT TAUGHT YOU ALL THIS????

We have to want to NOT have the reason for posting that we are bothered by what others say and when it is that it is one of our own saying things that are so very hurtful and are posted as if we here on this side are not going to be hurt…it is just like when your auntie tells you that she got you a gift but you have to not use what is in the package unless she tells you that it is okay to do it. This is the same thing as now, when I read things about how shitty it is that people feel when other people make the assumptions that they will.

I get it if it is about lifestyle – that is no oneʻs business, and no one has the right to judge, but the thing is that when we go about defending that which has not a whole lot to do with us, personally, and we choose to go out into the world and take it upon ourselves that the thing that whoever it was posted was all about us alone….

I would keep on going but instead will just outright say it – Please… get the fuck over yourselves.

This is the reason why there is so fuckinʻ much hammajangs anymore…because some of us do not want the hatred to stop and they will say things about their unseen enemy, not realizing that their opinion is the thing that hurts and that when opinions are aired, it is wise to take caution and NOT offend people ON THIS SIDE OF THE WATER…there is a lot of work to do, still.

I will champion Aloha til the day that I am old, grey, forgetting my name and asking David who that strange person calling me “Mom” is….

My question to those who ought to know better….when the hell are you going to champion Aloha for real, and not keep it as something that we are not to give away and rather hang it over the heads of other people who share this same beautiful thing called “Being Hawaiian” with you?

When are you going to get over it and stop acting like you are not also talking to us, about us just because we are not there? When the hell are you going to STOP SEEING US – YOUR RACIAL OHANA….even though we are on this side of the ocean AS THE FUCKINʻ ENEMY and NOT BY OUR CHOICE BUT BY YOURS?…when the hell are you guys gonna knock your sorry shit off already? 

Do we have to wait till you are dead? Do we have to wait until you have chosen that Aloha is NOT JUST FOR #ALLUSGUYS and when you keep it that way, you sour it. When you keep it that way, you make it die. 

When you keep it that way, you make all those people who you say are liars and have no fuckinʻ clue about what is, and what is not our ability to KEEP HAWAII NATIVE…you steal that from us all, because you cannot get over your egotistical selves.

I said it.

Deal with it.

Can You?

Somehow I am not certain that you are able to do this, as your pride and your perceived need to be right as opposed to proving us wrong is what is shown. Perhaps if you were to bother to fight with that thing called ALOHA and not your arrogance towards those not just like you….which is basically EVERY DAMNED HAWAIIAN PERSON ON THIS PLANET….when you show your arrogance, and you pick fights just because you are ass hurt over something…you are doing that shit to us all – including your sorry ass selves, and well, there are a lot of us who prefer to LOVE, and NOT DISDAIN…and why are you taking so long to know this much?

Why are you choosing to be lesser than, as a human, and ultimately as a person who represents Aloha...why the hell are you choosing to be nuha about it all still ? (Hell yeah I am nuha, but I have an actual reason) .What are you scared of and why? Why is it that we are the ones, still, through your unconscious slights to who we are, whilst you lump us all together in this conglomerated  whole ?

The damage is real. You canʻt know what it is like to have others like you not think that you are like them – KANAKA and THE KIND THAT ARE TRUE, ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE VERY BONES OF OUR SOULS? WHEN THE HELL WERE YOU BETTER THAN WE ARE?

…and further..where the hell is your proof? 

Let me show you how this is done…just in case you are too ….hard headed kine podaghee-type Kanaka to OPEN YOUR MINDS AND NOT YOUR DAMED MOUTHS 

I guess that the reason that, for a long time now, I have chosen to write about major holidays the day after is for no other reason than the very tangible reason why it is that we celebrate the days that we do.

I have plenty to be grateful for, and those people in the photograph are part of the main reasons why I do what I do during those times in our lives when the next morning, very early, people who were sitting in chairs yesterday being all …good to each other….is over with.

…and over with by right of nothing more than that a whole lot of human type beings seem to think that the Aloha is only for show, only for holidays and only for those who were born into the Hawaiian Race.

That is unless you are talking about my house, which is my mom guysʻ house, which is the place where, no  matter what, Aloha is the thing that is the very most important.

Not your fuckinʻ zip code or your damned place of birth.

Not how much blood quantum you get.

Not where your place is on the Hawaiian Homelands waiting list….

Not a damned thing outside of ourselves that can be counted in tangible measures OTHER THAN the ….beautiful thing that the people in this photo represent. There are a few people missing from it, as I mentioned, but, they are also a huge part of the reason why it is that I wait until after – even the very day after – any major holiday.

Without these guys (and the others NOT in this picture) I have no reason that I care to share with the world, in writing, and I have no reason to celebrate holidays, no reason to wake up at the butt crack of dawn on the fourth Thursday in November every year, no reason to make an effort to search for things that these people and the others like them who are not in the photo with them are desirous of.

While they are kids of the human sort, and while it is that this same thing is the truth of my Kuʻuipo (Hi Baby….muah) and of my keiki (both hanau and hanai) , my pals and those within the limits of my blood relations who I will do anything for (hui…cousins…howzit?), these kids of mine, their friends, my other half and my friends – the one thing that I KNOW we are the very most grateful for is the opportunity, year after year, not only to be with each other, but more – to be there for one another, even when it is not the holidays, and when it is not a time to celebrate.

This is the thing that a whole lot of us – even #AllUsGuys….sometimes, we forget about why it is that there are certain people who, if they are not with us when we celebrate, those times of the year will not be the same. Without those certain others, the gratitude is marred with disappointment and the disappointment is what permeates – not the Love. This is not because of anything that we have had to deal with – this is called human nature.

This is not a colonial thing, not a westernized USA thing…it is nothing calculable on a tangible scale of measurement.

It is, has always been, will always remain to be, that thing called Being Human

Too many people on this planet want to believe that in order to be of any good “thing” in anyoneʻs life, we have to do things that we would, at other times of the year, not do for or with them. This is the travesty that we, as Humans, as Hawaiian people, do not realize that we have allowed ourselves to fall prey to – hubris, a “moʻ bettah ʻden you” attitude, choosing to see differences rather than to celebrate why it is that we come together, every year, at these certain times.

In my case, it is what was given to me as a gift, now I can say, as a child, that are the very most precious things to me to recall when I see the people in the photograph being with one another in a celebratory manner. Yes, they do things like all other young people – they like to party, and they like to rock out, and they like to do those things that a whole lot of us Kanakas were taught to not do quite the same way because those things were “colonial” when in reality, those things are human being behaviors. (I donʻt care what you folks call Beer Pong, but, on my side of the water, the college kids call it this).

Just because the music being played is rock and not reggae it does not make it different. You have your island, and I honor it, and you have your ways, and I try to honor it, so long as it includes everyone within the scope of Ka Poʻe o Ka Wai.

When we are excluded, or when people on this side of the water read what we will about things that are not that great and that people who have gone over there to live, bring with them, it is like we are all being lumped together, simply by right of where we were born. I could go on to say a whole lot more but, then I would be as bad as any other person who doesnʻt realize that through their words of perceived strength, they are showing what is their truth in weakness….

Believe, please, that you do not have to be better than anyone, that you do not have to defend who you are by right of who you are not. I have repeated this mantra for years, and why it is that people still choose to disdain these words is beyond me

The only thing that I can think or will believe, based completely upon my own experiences with people who are so not willing to think of another way to be who they are without trying hard to slam on, shame or defile others, even those of us who share the same racial make up as anyone would….is that there is a lot more to do in terms of ridding ourselves of this thing called Self-Hatred.

And yeah you folks…you have to actually try it for it to work. You cannot be waha in the mouth about it. You have to live it.

If you want it to change, then live it.

Addahwize kuli kuli kou waha…

Yup…I said it, so deal with it….my Tutu Lady taught us all to know what that means….shut up, listen, do not judge and without saying it – above all #LIVEALOHA. My Nana was a native woman, born raised and lived there and whose physical self rests in peace in Honolulu. She was the greatest, Nana was, and she never ever got angry. She is my inspiration for a whole lot of things, but, the main thing is to not ever stop fighting for what is right, no matter who tells you that you are wrong. When you know that you are right, and you know that you are fighting for that which is the rightest thing in the world you fight and you fight and you do not give up.

Nana fought quietly.

I do not. She was proud of all us guys, her grandkids but she always held us girls in a special place in her heart, because she knew how much she went through as a girl, herself. She taught me these things – to fight with Aloha and conviction because love always wins.

Always.

From the way a lot of us, including myself at times, sadly with people across the water with whom I have so much in common, including the right to live as the Kanaka Maoli that we each and all are, treat one another, there are still some who are mouthing strength and writing weakness….

Stop it.

You make us all look weak and worried about what the rest of the world knows as Being Hawaiian. Putting your own energy signature on it is one thing and encouraged by us all but, placing us all into an energy that is still “You versus US” is eliminating everything that we all, as a collective whole, have been publicly fighting for, but, privately, in our own lives, we see the differences that exist and because we have allowed the plasticity in our brains to do the changes that they would need for us to think another way, we have, a lot of us, refused to stop ourselves from defending who we are, to perfect strangers even, when in regards to who we are as Hawaiians.

The hardest part is reading what we will, and still remaining filled with Aloha for a bunch of people who speak with their mouths “love and aloha” but through a lack of a better awareness of how their unconscious selves have handled the historical trauma that as Hawaiians, we all feel…the hardest part is reading things about MY MAINLAND versus YOURS

Knock it off already

We are family, dammit…fucking begin to act like it and stop going backwards. The only way that we clean this mess is to CLEAN IT UP AND NOT HAVE AN OPINION because it is your damned opinion that is keeping you and ultimately #ALLUSGUYS there in that place called “LESSER THAN” and I, for one, have had the hell enough of working my okole off to create unity, just so that a few fuckers can try hard to do away with it.

Here is some news…it ainʻt gonna happen. It has been tried, this whole, hate hate hate what is not like us ….it ainʻt gonna change a damned thing.

However, learning to think differently WILL.

We hail from royalty…act like it already.

Even though we hail from the Monarchy….still yet….

Still yet, we have to deal with ourselves as human beings, as well as Hawaiians, as well as island people an as people who are coming into our own as one of the greatest races that has ever even existed, even with all of the turmoil that our ʻAumakua have gone through. Without those folks going through all of that mess, we are not here and proud as hell, and we are not given the task of BEING Aloha, instead of only mouthing the word.

We can mouth the word all we want, can do like the world has done for generations and we can continue to be these people who we are not and continue to follow the footsteps that we were born to branch off from that path and forge our own, the Love and support of the history that we share and that is good and is all Aloha, all the time.

We can choose to still see what is not like us, even between one another, and we can perpetuate our hurt, allowing it to surface as anger (and yeah for this Auntie it is gonna be difficult because wild aunties – we only know how to be fierce and when we are mad holy crap but still – it is with purpose, for the most part…please keep reading…). We can keep reaching back to the times of the colonists, to that time in our ancestral history where it was that we fought them, then we fought ourselves because of them, and here we are now, the option to do neither of those things, so long as we understand that the more we cling to those things, the more that they exist. 

We can do like we have for as long as our collective memory allows and we can make the tradition of seeing what is not the same be the thing that continues to guide us, as though we on this side of the ocean somehow are okay with the slighted words that are posted on every single social network the world has to offer, and we can continue to pretend to allow each other in our own an personal Hawaiian-ness and continue to limit ourselves and ultimately each other, by continuing to think that there are still those of us who are willingly, even though they do not realize that this is what they are doing – willingly, through the words posted about things that have nothing to do with Aloha, and everything to do with keeping us on this side of the water divided from you over there, and really, I am certain that your own familial Aumakua are, right now, either congratulating you for perpetuating the idea that we were robbed (thereby making the original colonists AND their descendants still having more power than we do) and that is the energy that we come from (already get limu on top, but….go..go argue with me…no can) …

…Or…

Or, we can live up to that Aloha energy, live up to the idea that rather than continue to blame those who were born into the races that are not our own (and by our measure of allowing that pain to continue to be there, allow them still to have that control over all of us and make us feel, still, like we are not and never were a real people, a real race, and a force to be very well reckoned with) and we can bother to be phenomenal, even through the turmoil that collectively has been continually served to us with every passing generation that succeeds the last one.

Or we can see who we are in terms of a people, and realize that no matter where we are on this planet that we are, by and large, the people of Aloha, are Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai (yes…yes that is indeed a shameless self promotion of my latest book in progress…and we all ought to be so inclined to do it – promote ourselves….that, or we can find someone else to do what we are so good at, which is telling the world the truth about who we really are in the personal sense – nothing that makes a person feel like they are “less than” is done by outer means…so who are you tryinʻ to fool for real?….) and that we are a proud race of people who were placed on this planet and in this consciousness to promote healing the world through this mechanism called Aloha . 

And more and more everyday, without a whole lot of us knowing, we are perpetuating the idea that other people are better than we are. We do this without knowing because we are so inclined to defend ourselves rather than to promote us. When we are willing to promote who we are, we will, on the collective level, be able to see past the hurts that too many of us still believe is the truth, even though back in the day, it was not what we would or could believe.

Back in the day, as is evidenced by the posts that I have seen on all the social networks, is that still, even in all of our collective rallying cry, there is still a whole lot that we have to do and more than that – we have plenty to be grateful for specifically as a native people.

We are who we are and blessed by Akua because of it. We are the people of the water, the people of Aloha and the people who are, by and large, here to prove this much. When we fight against what we are not, as the world would have us believe, and when we are more willing to see what is not there, versus what is there and will not ever not be and when we choose to fight as a whole instead of each other from each sideʻs shorelines, we will know what is the truth of solidarity.

Without Hawaiians, this Thing Called ALOHA does not exist, will have never existed.

Without us, there is no perpetuation of it.

Without us protecting it and making right those things that are not about us, things that the rest of the world, from a very early time, wanted to believe about us and then tried very hard to impress those energies onto us and even now, at this time in our lives, as we choose to see one another as we each and all truly are, we still fight against a thing that is not ours, was not ours, will not ever be ours, and that thing is called Self-Hatred. We, you folks, must stop this. We have a whole lot to be thankful for, regardless of where we each were born because wherever we are, Hawaii is there, too, and wherever we are, we have that moment in our time as human beings to make right, through our own self-awareness, those things that have crushed us, collectively, for many generations. 

It is this generation of parents, the one called “X” that makes the difference. We were raised to be brilliant and strong, but we were not taught to be this way – we were made this way, perhaps through the things that people wanted to call “discipline” or maybe through the mechanism called time as it passes and slips through our hands and as it renews itself, again and again, showing up as other people as we live our lives, everyday, in hopes that we are just a little bit better as ourselves, everyday that we live and breathe. We have, by and large, chosen to no longer hurt over the things that we, ourselves, did not cause but were expected to keep as the “thing” that was common among us – that thing called hatred.

And there is no one who will tell me that I am wrong, not after a lifetime of telling others who have the same texture of hair that I do, who do not burn in the sun but turn a far lovelier shade of beautiful after a few moments splashing around in the grand Pacific, who is going to convince me that it was something that collectively, the parents within that group marked “X”, no longer wanted. We did not want our kids to know that being part of Ka Poʻe o Ka Wai – The People of The Water…meant that they had penance to pay for things and sins of the past that not even we, as their parents, committed…we did not want them to suffer more, not for the things that we, ourselves, would never carry on into the future. We chose, silently, albeit together, as a loving whole, decided that enough is enough.

We will continue to show the world, through our hapa children, that living in Aloha and that Being Hawaiian is far more than just blood quantum…it is a lifestyle and a birthright. 

To Be Hawaiian is a beautiful thing.

To be tasked with the furthering of the Aloha energy and to raise the consciousness of an entire generation, the one that calls us “Mom” and “Dadʻ….this is the most important thing in our culture – to remember that we have a lot to be grateful for, to live in the energy and the light that is being Kanaka Maoli and tasked with the Kuleana to BE THE ALOHA and not just mouth the word. We have, by right of our ability to perpetuate the Human Race, made ourselves able to change this marred version of Aloha and create a new one that is global and includes #AllUsGuys, no matter what

You can continue to divide, but, then you would just be buying in to the idea that it is the settlers who came and made us right, by right of their god, and their ways, and who they were versus who we were not.

Or

You can go on out there, into your own world, be the rock star that you are, and make the perpetuation of the Aloha Lifestyle…not just the energy…the thing that prevails….

That photo proves to the world that Aloha prevails wherever me and my ohana, hanau, hanai, whatevahs….Aloha prevails when we allow it

When we block it, I end up writing novel length blog posts….

All I am saying, guys, is seriously try it…try living in the energy that is pure Aloha, the kind that allows everyone in. Leave your ego behind….

And for once in your life….

Try BEING the Aloha you want to see in the world…

…then, like I have, you can take a photograph of that thing called ALOHA IN ACTION, no matter who does or does not have Hawaiian blood

It is not the amount of blood in the veins, and neither the family tree you boast as yours, because none of that shit matters.

Try think this way, yeah?

Will you, when you leave this lifetime, be recalled as a good HAWAIIAN, or, will you be one who is recalled, fondly, for being the one who chose to live, to give, to BE the Aloha, not only in the lives of others, neither in that of those who would come up against you, even if they are your own….

….but for you?

I know that I will be remembered as the most….Hawaiian…9th Island Auntie, of the wildest sort….because Motley Crue is a thing, and head bangin is a thing…as much as is the truth of Aloha within me, to be a VERY PROUD HAWAIIAN AT ALL TIMES AND AT ALL COSTS

I am a credit to my race, metal horns up, screaminʻ and jamminʻ and stomping my bare 9th island Maoli feet…no matter who thinks otherwise

Be Aloha

It is your right

Use it

Donʻt abuse it

The world is waiting for you….stop limiting yourself, and your opportunity to right the wrongs of so many generations. Be the Aloha that you wish to have in your life

Simple words, but powerful, none the less….

Simply and only BE THE ALOHA

The rest will just follow

#LosAngelesKahunaRox

#TheCrabAndTheFish

 

 

 

KA LEO MANA (The Voice of Authority)

1_ME_Ku_Kanaka_Meme_STAND TALL

We need our leaders, no matter what side of the water we call home.

Yeah.

I know.

My ʻolelo ainʻt the greatest and sometimes it might not even make a whole lot of sense. There is a reason for it and the reason is that I have had to learn what I know all on my own, without the benefit of an actual Kumu of this language thing that is so very dearly important to our specific race.

We were told, like every other indigenous people, that we were no longer allowed our language, and that if our ʻAumakua were to speak it, it would be a crime, they would be criminals, and from what I have been told, back then criminal punishment was way more brutal than we are shown it is now.

Way, way more.

We would not be breathing, a whole lot of us right now, if what we are seeing now is anything at all like it was back then. I am not, today, talking about police or brutality or other things that mar us and scar us. I am, instead, talking about being the voice of authority, no matter what. In order for any one of us who is “island” to have any kind of authority about anything, we have to express ourselves. Without proper expression of the Soul, as Kanaka Maoli, we have nothing. For someone like me – Kahuna – words are the very lifeblood of what I do in this lifetime, not only for others, but for my very self, too. Without words, how can one spell and for that matter…

…ever wondered why they are called spells??? Come on now folks…try tink, yeah?

Today, again, though, is not about spelling or casting spells or dancing hula or dancing period. Todayʻs writing is about being who you are, at all times, and living in that energy of Authority.

Authority

In the third definition of the word, it means Influence, resulting from knowledge, prestige, etc. (Websters, 1996) and by that right alone, we are a culture, a people with lots and lots of all of these things when it comes to that thing called Aloha.

We are the authority on it, and for a lot of us it is a way of life, no matter what is your ʻAina. Mine is the Rockinʻ 9th, and no matter who wants to tell me that I am wrong for calling my home – California – my island, no matter what -I was born and raised as a Hawaiian person, by two people who were born and raised in Hawaii and who had no choice, by right of being kids when it happened, other than to live here on this side of the ocean when their parents, the ones who taught a whole lot of them how to hate us….chose to move here, for whatever reason they may have had.

It is not like lots of people can afford to live there, but never mind that – we must be nationalists, the sort of who take sides and most of those sides taken are rife with hatreds that are ancient and should have been as empowered as they are now in this time in our lives when we are able to “get away with” being fully free and thinking people with rights that are not just that of one side of the water, but of both. By this I mean that while it is that many, many people have remained to be those who want to divide us still by accepting who we are, but not where we are from, and then expecting us all to believe that somehow, you folks think we are just as ….Kanaka Maoli…as you are.

We are.

You cannot tell us that we are not and the more that I read things about how fucked up lots of people over there post on social media, and how fucked off it is that ANYONE ON THIS SIDE OF THE PACIFIC ARE IN RELATION TO ANYTHING ʻAINA…that is a huge hurt and one that we, as 9th island born Hawaiians, know that no one who is not one of us knows.

You cannot relate….we can relate to everything that, historically, has happened, but, for a lot of us, the hurt of division lives on within us, as if who we are is dependent upon land rights. We are here, doing our best to preserve our culture, the only way that we know to, which is to simply be our highest, best selves, no matter what.

For a whole, WHOLE lot of us, that means that we live this thing called ALOHA…at all times, with EVERYONE and NOT JUST OUR OWN KIND – that is NOT what ALOHA IS MEANT FOR, and these days, the more that I see what I see, there are still some who want to keep us apart. Perhaps so that rather than being PART OF the problem, they can still see those of us here, not only as “apart from” but the PART OF that is the ….infection…

That truly sucks of you all who still punish us here for being here. We love it here. I will not apologize for being my L.A. Me…because I love this me.

Still, always in the back of my mind, is this …thought….that no matter what, through this prideful ignorance, we will never be collectively “together,” and well, I will fight and fight until it is that people understand the …foolishness…of all this …shit.

You might now know, unfortunately, by right of visitors to those islands, what I am talking about when I state that it is difficult feeling like you are an ʻAina person, but those who were born there want you to always feel like …you are not like they are, and that is wrong.

No one who is not a 9th island Maoli…knows what it is like to feel like an outsider in oneʻs own culture, and all over what? Really? You shua?

No one will know what it is like to have to defend themselves against their own people, simply by right of where I was born. EVERYDAY I look at things on social media that tell me that the thinking that somehow, we are not as good at being good Hawaiians by right of where we came into being physically is the thing that we are, on this side, all trying very dearly to make a whole lot of you on that side, STILL, no thanks to that orange faced moron other people let take the office of the president of the untied states….(I said it so deal with it) (ALL OF IT) understand.

We will not do a whole lot of things, All Us Guys here on this side….one of those things is hate for no reason…

…and it comes out unconsciously, and whether you want to believe me or not, the things that you were told to believe about us here still make that energy in you come alive…this…”We moʻ bettah den you” and “….you was born ovah deʻah…you not real kine kanaka….you not even real kine person as far as we concerned…” .

This is not all of you, not at all, but, it is still a whole lot of you and we are still perplexed as to why it is this hard for us to come together for real, stop hating on the distance and the zip code and the place we all and each physically call home, and understand that together we are the strongest force on the planet.

THINK ABOUT THAT – we hail from WARRIORS AND MONARCHY, AND WE ARE CHOOSING, A WHOLE LOT OF US STILL to love the division that was provided us by the settlers, but this is not what you have been taught, a whole lot of you. You have been taught that we are not everything that you each and all are, and that is a very SIGNIFICANT HURT on us, from LOTS AND LOTS OF YOU who claim to want solidarity.

You forget, though, that the things that you state online are not the things that we all feel, because I cannot hate people for no reason.

Namely NOT what THEIR ANCESTORS …..not THEY…did…a long damned time ago.

…and how dare any one of you….how dare you pull rank on any one of us here, as if we asked to be born away from there. What kind of thinking is THAT?

Have you ever really thought about it, at all, the idea that if this was you, on this side of the water, that you might know what this feels like, to be thought as a stranger in the land of your ancestors?

It actually fuckinʻ sucks…but, we here do not ever allow you who visit here think that you are not welcomed here. We want you to come here and find out the thing that you do not know, which is that we are EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOU ARE….human…

DUH

Divided, truly, we fall, and we fall to this thing called ignorance, and the idea that whenever someone from this side of the water is not one of us says or does something over there, that that defines us all, and frankly I am not okay with it, at all because it ainʻt the truth, okay?

I am not okay with the message that is now veiled and I am not liking the idea that there is still this…division…that somehow makes a whole lot of people on that side of the water hate who we are, and you donʻt even realize that this is what is happening.

I cannot make any apologies for people on this side of the water who are not the same as we are…you know…maoli…. be any less ignorant than they are. I promise you all that we here on this side of the ocean are actually trying to make things different for us all…ON THIS SIDE OF THE WATER…because, we are mighty damned tired of all of the assumptions.

We want things made clearer….by us, for us, to you who seem to think we are somehow jacked up…by our zip code. This is wrong, and we cannot fix a thing if this thinking keeps going.

We want it different. We want us guys to be, for real ALL US GUYS…we are not damaged Hawaiians. You need to know this.

You need to believe this.

You need to show aloha, yes, but FOR REAL and not ….pick and choose….we are not boogers.

We want things to change…

Yet how do we do that when there are still so many over there who are lumping all of us together as one decrepit, disgustingly and horrifically…stupid.. bunch of people who really are actually just like you are, all of you, other than that we might not do things just like you do there.

That is because we canʻt. 

We canʻt because we have had to fight on two fronts – this one here, for the right that we have to be spoken to nicely and not as though our mother tongue is somehow not English or that maybe we can ʻolelo and that we are not from the south of this place called Los Angeles unless you are talking the South Pacific. We are, here in Los Angeles, also Pacific, and not only that, we might not have everything that you all have there, but, what we do have is this thing called kupaʻa – or did you forget about that much? WE have this thing here on the mainland that is called solidarity, and we live in that thing called lokahi.

We are the ones who bring to the planet and on this side of it the awareness that is Aloha, because yeah, we do have that place here on one end of this side of the world of water called Hollywood, and on the other end called New York, and in the middle to the North, Chicago, and to the south, Dallas – meaning that we have a lot of media outlets here and a lot of ability to undo all of these collective hatreds that have been passed down like your Tutu Ladyʻs wedding holo muʻu….and no one can argue with me, because this is what I have observed, throughout the course of my life…it is almost like some of us needs an enemy, namely from across the water, no matter who that enemy is.

Even if it is one of our own, which is the saddest thing in the world, at least to me, because people, no matter where they are from, even if they are shitty people, are beautiful in that they are here to teach us about what is, and more, what is NOT Aloha, what is not the breath of Life that we are all meant to know about…no matter what.

Yeah.

I said it.

ALL OF IT.

Deal with it, and if you canʻt, then welcome to the world of the mainland Kanaka Maoli. This is what it feels like

Some of us donʻt care, but I am not one of those people who does not care what those who I share ancestry thinks of me personally– I do not care what it is to anyone else, the way that I feel about my…MY ʻAina, called Los Angeles, because it is my home, next to the sea, the very one that many of my own people hate folks like me across from, and that is a deep hurt.

If you were to read the things that lots and lots of my people still post about “mainland” anything, one would assume that in terms of things “island” we are not able to hold our own, but I beg to differ, and, as well, correct those who think this way. None of these things would be written if it were that I did not read all these things that tell us over here that somehow, we are damaged, and we are so not.

I could take the advice of many, many of my relatives over there, the ones who are telling me all the time that we are needed on this side of the water, needed because we have this cushion and this, distance, that makes it so that we are able to see with lesser emotion the things that go on there, and we are here to tell your words to the rest of the world who seems to think that on one end of the spectrum, we are to be made to be the examples of what NOT to aspire to, which is educated and bad ass. On the other side, we are to be pitied, called ignorant, because we were born here on this side of the water and told who we are by those we share ancestry and in some cases, blood with...told that we are not the same.

I do not know how, because I look like you – ALL OF YOU, and I do not know why, because I sound like you, and eat like you and hurt and cry like you all do.

I even make a big fat fuckinʻ noise when I read these things online that say we are one, but, then there are the ones who like to tear apart all things “mainland” and who forget that we are here, living as Hawaiian people in the light and the energy that is Aloha, and no matter what we do – there are still a lot of you there who think that somehow, we are traitorous, for, of all things, being able to see things from both sides of the water, in many more ways than only physically. 

If you would just trust that we have ALL OF OUR BEST INTERESTS at heart, maybe we would be able to see, one day, exactly how much more powerful AND empowered we will be not just as a collective whole, but as the ENERGY that is the NATION OF HAWAII.

The only way that it happens is if you realize that your words are what divide us, even though we here, on this side, want only to be what we have been since we were brought into this crazy world – what we are, which is Kanaka Maoli. 

Sure, we might dance our dance to other music than only Hawaiian, and we might have different crazy things that happen here and we might adapt our classic recipes to meet what we are able to make them out of, even if what we make them be is a slight bit healthier, and as awesomely yum as anything coming straight out of my Auntie Lizʻs kitchen (RIP, Auntie…you are missed), right here in Los Angeles County, CA., in a tiny town just a few miles east of downtown, called El Monte.

Sure, we might wear flowers in our hair, but, oh what floral madness we are afforded when you mix our Hawaiian flowers with that of the ones that were here, natively, just like lots and lots of us...you do not know beautiful until you have made your own leis, for your own luau, made of California Lilies and the star Jasmine that smells as lovely and wonderful as the transplanted Pikake flowers that my dad grows for my mom here in the middle of the hood called Pomona, CA.

Sure, we might wear slippahs, too, but it is not a sin, I promise, for all of your accessories to match your bag, and your belt, and your hair pieces…it is called BEING L.A. AUNTIE….and we have to work with what we have here…you should see the things the Tia Aunties come up with…(seriously….carne asada and poi….it is yum…)

We are not different in any other way than the way that we have to…yes HAVE TO present ourselves as Hawaiians… because here in Los Angeles, my Kahuna is easily mistaken for CurenderaMy holo muʻu has been a beaded gown, worn with 4 inch stiletto heels, all black, and a splash of bright white ginger, ti leaves, and plumeria grown here in the ʻhood doing a mad dance of beautiful in my hair…we still DO have those things called events and we have to show up to them as our best selves.  Here in L.A. …that is a gown, lots of lights, loud music and large crowds…and the world sees only that we are KANAKA MAOLI, by right, not of our dress, but of our ENERGY THAT IS ALOHA THAT IS SEEN, NO MATTER WHAT THE BACKGROUND MUSIC, NO MATTER THE DRESS…

No matter the fuck what…this is who we are…

That is really what this is all about….representing….and I show up as the most…Hawaiian L.A. Auntie that ANYONE knows. That my muʻu muʻu might be the famed and fabled little black dress, make no mistake – that is a kukui nut bracelet on this chickʻs wrist, and those are pearls and shells in her ears, and that, too, is a gold-dipped sharks tooth, a silver pineapple, two guitar picks and a triple goddess hanginʻ from my neck…..because that is how this Auntie ROLLS…L.A. Style…

No one questions my truth called Aloha…not one person, because on one side I bang my head, and on the other side, I am stomping like anyoneʻs business, this thing called Kahiko Hula, and making no apologies for doing it the L.A. Auntie kine way….donʻt hate, cause I ainʻt asking YOU to dance with me, because you and I, we dance for different reasons.

Either way, it is to raise the Mana and make certain that world sees our Aloha…regardless if your music is The Kamakahi Brothers and mine is Kornʻs Freak on a Leashregardless…mine is mine, and mine is pure, as is anyone elseʻs is.

Because we are also Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai…. we also are The People of The Water. We share who we are willingly, on a grand scale, because that is the circus of bilingualism that is not only Spanish or Tagalog or Vietnamese or Mandarin or whatevahs…

And for no other reason than that one thing…that one thing called Aloha.

I cannot Hate People Because of….

…things…tangible things…and tangible things are not only things that can be had, and held in the hand…sometimes, they are evidenced by things we donʻt think about, ever, such as our physical show of our own disdain towards others, but mostly for those not just like us.

I cannot hate others for stupid things.

I cannot hate them because of their skin color, and I cannot hate them for the things that their ancestors did, long before we were even in this awareness. Too many of us want things to be divided, as if being that way makes us here lesser than you over there or vice versa.

You will find with 9th island kine people, we want to NOT fight because yeah – that is all we do here…fight, for our taxes, for the rights that our kids have to clean water, a decent education, safety at home, food in the fridge and fuck yes…the right to be ethnically and culturally who they are, for real…cheaper gas prices, lower rents, better quality food, and happiness….lots and lots of happiness that is never derived from money and damned sure never ever going to happen because you are better than I am or that I am better than you are.

We are the damned same, and I really getting tired of reading about how it is that my ʻaina is the problem, when it is not. 

What IS the problem is that somehow, the blood that runs in my veins, the fact that my middle name (and that of my grandmother, and my only daughter) has 26 letters in it, the idea that I KNOW WHAT CARNE ASADA TASTES LIKE WITH POI (it is ONOLICIOUS), the idea that my plumeria FOREST is as big as was my Nanaʻs on Namilimili Street in Pauoa Valley (ʻcept it is here in the hood in #PTOWN, California), the fact that my slippahs match my belt, the fact that I rock out hula style to Marilyn Manson and tell the stories we all tell, but that I choose what is the “local flay-vah” here in Los Angeles, which is endless and indie and so, so, so very creative and beautiful, is sometimes in English, other times in Farsi, and many more times than that is en Espanol… and regardless of any of this, all of it has the one thing …the most important component of ANYTHING, no matter what….

…that one thing is Aloha….

And no matter who wants to think what of me, go the hell ahead…theyʻre your thoughts, not mine, not my ohanaʻs ….even the hanai ones, the ones who hail from all different origins, even that of the coloninsts. And just because you find it easy to hate, I do not. I was raised in the light, in the energy that is Aloha, the real kind, by my real kine Maoli born and raised parents, and the kind that is had only by an island Soul. 

My mom guys made sure to it that we would be those good kine Hawaiians, even though we are those Hawaiians all the way over here, in the land of smog and botox, of porn stars and heavy metal bands, long haired men from a time far away and long ago yet still very much alive and well, right there where the Aloha lives, even though sometimes, it is spelled with a “J” and not an “H”, because yeah….we got lots and lots of Mexi-Waiians here (Aloja to you, Prima Mary…I Love You Cousin) and we got lots of those ….. OʻBrien Hawaiians (Kapiolani, you know this old broad loves you endlessly, right, little cousin? KNOW IT….I know you do) and we have those ones who…for the right reasons, will throw the evil Italian eye at you, and not bother with being one nice, gracious kine Auntie (Waipuna….hahaha…..I need say nothing more than that I no can wait to do circle under the wide, bright full Southern California Moon…yes, you get to lead

Like all other Hawaiians, I have that thing called Hawaiian Pride, and even though it is not one that is had through hubris, neither arrogance, it is one that is loud and proud, screaminʻ and jamminʻ and makinʻ some noise, metal horns way the hell up for #AllUsGuys, no matter what side you swim from…regardless if it is Waimanalo or Huntington Beach in the OC….we are the same. 

We are the same, and we are here to make it known that we are not going to take anything lightly anymore, and we are not here for the rest of the planet to not take notice, to not bother with finally allowing us to take ourselves out of the grunting and grass-skirt mentality and into the light that is the freedom of being Kanaka Maoli, from wherever you are, at all times, your Aloha being what it is, unique and solely your own, for no other reason than that you are one of us…Ka Poʻe o Ka Wai – the People of the Water and more than that, what you will always be, no matter where you stand, even if you are Stand Alone in that one thing…you be proud, Sistahs, Bruddahs….and know the truth that is no matter where you are, indeed Hawaii is there too, but, that is because you are Hawaii, just like anyone else who can lay claim to this most cherished birthright…Na Mamo…the cherished ones

If you will believe nothing else ever, believe this one thing…you are here for the purpose of BEING the  ALOHA that you seek in your own lives, and you are charged with the Kuleana to make certain that who you are lives up to that level of beingness, of Hawaiian-ness, even if your ʻAina is NOT the Pacific, and even if it is from the top of the New York Skyline, or perhaps that of the one called Los Angeles…no matter what…Malama your ʻAina, because you were placed there, specifically, to be the epitome of Aloha

…even if you spell Aloha A-L-O-J-A…

Love, unfiltered and unconditional, is Universal, and we, the very ones who were sent to this lifetime to BE THE ALOHA….

So BE, IN LOVE….

It ainʻt that hard once you realize that it is gonna take a lot more than just an outdated opinion of who we are here, versus who we are not

Get it straight

Nothing changes til you change what has been given to you FOR THAT PURPOSE…

In case you are not clear on what I am saying….LEAD, and stop FOLLOWING THE OLD and CREATE THE NEW ….it is really the only way…

No, not later…not on Hawaiian time, but now…RIGHT NOW….Live in the Aloha that you claim to be

We here on this side of the water have to.

#LiveALOHA

#TryTink

#LosAngelesKahunaRox

#TheCrabAndTheFish

 

 

 

 

IMMORTAL : What will you leave behind as your personal cultural legacy?

kuleana

What will you contribute to the future?

I have mentioned it again and again, that I am writing a book. I have written a few of them, but this one is different, because this one means something to me in a way that is far different than did all of the others. 

This one means enough to me that I would offer it as a free download to those young island people whose roots are throughout the Polynesian world, and tell them to each and all ask themselves one thing – What will be Your Legacy? 

Legacies

There are a whole lot of ways to look at that word, Legacy. The dictionaryʻs version says something like it is “something from the past” as left by those from the past – our ancestors. Like many island people, my legacy will be left in words, will be seen in the words and the actions in the lives of my children and my grandchildren and my great-grandchildren, and at this very time in my life, the way that I live up to every word that I speak, that I write, that I choreograph into a Hula.

The thing that I will leave behind, that I am aware that I will leave behind, is a very deeply profound sense of pride in who I am as a Hawaiian person, and a sense of pride that is not hidden, even as it is ….accessorized …by what is my ʻaina – Los Angeles County, California, particularly the eastern San Gabriel Valley.

Indeed….carne asada does go very well with Poi.

I tried it.

I would. I am from here, from the land of porn stars, too many botox injections, memories of the Sunset Strip in the 80s and 90s, and sadly, Chavez Ravine and the thing that the government did to the generations of Latino families who lived there, most of them for generations and legally. They know, generationally, what it is like to be told to leave their home for the purposes of a rich manʻs dreams.

They get it, these people here, on my ʻaina, Southern California. I am just as much “them” as I am “Us Guys.”

This is my island, my home by the Pacific, this place called Los Angeles California, and it is not geographically Hawaii, but, again – wherever anyone of Hawaiian ancestry is, HAWAII IS THERE, TOO – and I live up to this one thing, every day of my 9th Island Hawaiian Life.

And this, my friends, my brothers and sisters, from sea to shining sea, no matter where any one of us is – Hawaii is there, too. Claim it – it is yours, as much as it is anyone who is anciently rooted to those who came before us, to those who could also be called Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai – The People of The Water. 

The Legacy that I intentionally Am Leaving Behind Me Is That of Unconditional Aloha. Akua knows we need it. 

It is right this moment, you folks, that I show and have the greatest chance to show, with the greatest reasons to show, this thing called Aloha – because that is what I am – comprised of Aloha. It is my duty, not only to those who will follow me, who will call me Tutu and who one day I will have the honor to give a name to, to show those who will bring these little ones into this world what it means to Be Aloha….to Be Love and to Be, In Love, but also to give that Unconditional Love to others through my words, my actions and absolutely through who and what I Am.

This is the thing that my Soul tells me that I am here for – to show Aloha, in whatever form it is that those who enter into my awareness, in whatever capacity that may be, and be that representation of that Love in their lives. 

For David that is “Pineapple,” and for my three kids – Jeremy, Grace and Joshua, that is “Mom,” and for many several more, that is “Auntie,” and to few others who I call ohana…I am simply just Rox.

No matter what name it is that I will respond to, it is the wearing of Aloha on the sleeve that matters the very most, is the thing that I will be remembered most for, that I hope I am doing now which is living up to every word that I speak, that I write, that I share in conversation with others, that I give in the phrase “I Love You,” and that I cannot help but to express.

I hope that when I leave this lifetime as a very old woman, that the one thing that my name is equated with, the one energy that I hope to be most remembered by….I want my legacy to be Aloha…I want to be recalled for telling and teaching others how to actually  Be Love.

I want it to be that thing that when my name is brought up, like I hope that it is now, that the first thing that people who know me, know me first because I love them and not because I am Hawaiian, not because I can tell them what certain things mean and not because I can be that one friend who can dance hula at your party.  I want these people to have the very highest best lives and that if I can help, in any small way, please ask me. If I say I will do something, I mean it, and if I know that I cannot fulfill what it is that I said I could, I will let others know early on, because that is the right thing to do.

I want my Legacy to be the thing that is equated with the end of division across the ocean, the one that we did not create, but the very one that we are intending to no longer have to deal with because already, we are creating Lokahi (unity) and Kupaʻa (solidarity) and sharing Aloha across the Pacific, not worried about who was born where, not bothering with the idea that since some of us were born here (like we had a fuckinʻ choice or something), that we are damaged, and it is part of my own personal Kuleana to remind people that no – no we are not, and no, we do not hate those who thought this of us for far too long.

We are that generation of Kanaka Maoli who collectively and finally, for the most part, got sick of fighting with each other and instead chose to weed out those within our demographics who threaten our Sacred places, who threaten our culture, and from across the ocean we here on the Rockinʻ 9th send our thoughts, prayers and our Aloha to you, over there – there on the bad ass Original OG 8, everyday, knowing that we have the opportunity to change these things that have gone on for far too long.

We, together, are leaving behind for the future and the collective, the global and generational legacy of recognizing that we are all one big ohana, and we are seeing, for the first time in all of our lives, this thing that we had no idea we were, for all of our lives, even now, working towards.

And we did it.

We are still doing it.

You can think what you want to but it is happening.

And no….no you cannot stop it – there are more of us on this planet who want this divide healed already. We have recognized that we are more effective together, bringing to these issues and these things that have collectively broken our hearts and spirits from a time long before any one of us were brought into this lifetime.

We are becoming one strong, unified whole….and the collective of wild aunties are in the lead, taking no oneʻs shit, leaving no rock unturned and not making any kine apologies for it.

We are here, in force, fierce as hell, and ready to help people do what they have to in order to help us #KeepHawaiiNative, even from across the ocean.

This is what the collective of us decided, without even knowing one another, the moment that the each of us were told that we were going to bring into the world, yet another human being of Hawaiian ancestry, and we would, in that moment, have the opportunity to share with these people the way that we interpreted Aloha – and we didnʻt do too bad, lemme tell ya…

…yeah – even from way over here in Los Angeles County, California, USA.

Hell… any county, any state, mainland USA, where you find Island People.

I know that not a whole lot of us likes to read that at all, not even me sometimes but, this is my home, and this is my island, and these things were not things that I had any kind of control over.

I did not ask to be born here, but I am grateful, proud and elated to have been born Hawaiian.

I would have loved to have been born there, but that was not to be and rather than allow it that my parents would raise yet one more colonialized Kanaka, they opted, instead, to teach me and my siblings how to be the best Hawaiians we could be no matter where the hell on this planet that we found ourselves calling home. When I lived in the high desert, it was not a secret that I was Hawaiian, because I made it very well known, and even though I LOVE MY LATINOS, I am not one, and frankly got tired of being addressed initially en Espanol. It was not that it is a bad thing to be mistaken for anything else, but to have to explain what I Am, in English even, totally sucked…it still sucks.

There are still those of us who want to keep us divided, and I choose not to.

I choose to not be anyone but me – me who is a daily traveler of the 10 freeway, and me who honors her Hawaiian Ancestry by blending it with my ʻaina – Southern California. For years I was told to  check the box marked “other” and one day just chose to draw a new box, and one that I live up to, everyday of my life. When I was a kid I wanted the world to know that I was Hawaiian, that I Loved and did not hate, that I saw and still can only see what is the same rather than that which we have all been told, for many generations, is what is supposed to keep us apart.

I spent my life, to this point, trying hard to fit into the mold of what people believed is “Hawaiian” and found out that I would not ever fit, NOT because I do not want to, because to do that is to do the opposite of what I am already doing, which is living the Life of Aloha, albeit #TheRockin9th style, and if there are people who just donʻt get it, that is on them, not on me. I will not ever disrespect another person based on their experiences, and all of my life, like so many others like me, we have been kept apart from, rather than what we have chosen, on our own and collectively to be PART OF – OUR RACE, OUR Ancestry, our Culture, and OUR very Maoli selves… and DO SO PROUDLY!

I changed, will change, not one thing about my Los Angeles Hawaiian self. I honor my roots, 9th Island style. I lead the charge on my side of the ocean, metal horns way up, screaminʻ and jamminʻ for my people, loud nʻ proud, Los Angeles Auntie kine….every fuckinʻ rock nʻ roll day of my life.

I have led the life of 9th Island Aloha as best I could to this point, even though there were a whole lot of my own people calling me fake, damaged, even now – there are some who tell me that since I was born here, that I am no way any kine Kahu – and that is fine that you feel that way, but you fail to realize that we are needed here on this side of the water, and we need to adapt to our ʻaina. Lots of people fail to accept that I AM, WE ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE A PART OF, rather than always apart from, who we are.

I love Hawaii, will always consider it my home. Cali is my island and is the place that I have experienced Aloha, 9th island style, all my life. It is then, my friends, my global ohana, that I know that in my own self, here on my island, I Am the sense, the epitome, the very thing called 9th Island Aloha come to life, for a whole LOT of people.

My new Pahu skirt wonʻt have flowers as the accent – itʻll have skulls, look way, way metal, but way, way me. Those who learn this ancient dance from me are never worried about what it is that my skirt looks like, only what my Aloha means to them, for I am the epitome of that – I am the very example of Aloha, and this is the thing that I leave behind, no matter where I go, no matter who I encounter, no matter fucking what – I am here as a representation of that thing that none of us here were lucky to be, which was born in Hawaii.

Our parents did the very best they could to adapt to our lives and their own rendition of all things that we did not know were not Hawaiian in the sense that they were here by right of being brought here by them, these things we know as being Hawaiian, including the Spirit of Aloha. This is the thing that they brought with them, the thing that people told them was not their Hawaii five-oh belief about what it meant to other for us to be Hawaiian and what it means still, to be Keiki o Ka ʻaina….even if your island is the 9th island.

They did the very best they could, all our mom and dad guys, because now we have this whole entire generation of 9th island parents who raised a group of hapa kids to be the thing that, ovah heʻah, are what people recognize as Ka Poʻe o Ka Wai – The People of The Water.

We taught them this, our children, on both sides of the ocean.

We taught them, each and all, to be, above all else, the epitome of that energy, that thing that makes them so, so Polynesian…that thing called Aloha, and that thing called being “O Ke Kai” – of the Sea….indeed, this is what we taught them, and is the thing brought into life, alive, well and thriving, as that thing, that show called Aloha, not only to one another, but, to the world. 

They know of no other way.

This is our collective Legacy of Aloha, the world over….this is what we leave as our Legacy – the answer to the thing that is the Kuleana of all the people of all the waters of the world.

We leave a collective of screaminʻ, jamminʻ, sometimes rappinʻ, other times shreddinʻ like Dimebag Darrell (RIP, Bruddah), other times wearing socks to Halloween parties with their buddies….hahaha….as The Red Hot Chili Peppers hahahahahaha…kids who know and have known that the only thing that they are beside screaminʻ, jamminʻ, rappinʻ and haha…”wearing socks” ….is Kanaka Maoli, of the Rockinʻ 9th sort.

We leave in our wake, as the mothers and fathers of this new breed of 9th island Maolis, people who do not know what it is like to live without the Truth that they are, which is what we aspired for them, as the very eptiome, the very Truth that is Living Aloha…

No, this was not written because someone told me something that I did not like, and neither is it about a question which I asked a BAD ASS KUMU HULA in Hawaii about – I have nothing but love and respect for ALL OTHER KANAKA MAOLI, but, this particular Maoli girl is very tired of feeling like she is apart from, rather than a part of, this thing called “Living Aloha” just because I was born and raised in Southern California. This writing is not an answer, neither a protest, to anything that I have been told in the time that has passed since the last time that this blog was written.

This writing is a statement in Truth….

We here on the Mainland are done being apart from the ʻAina.

We are a part OF the ʻAina….

….just the screaminʻ and jamminʻ, sometimes rappinʻ and sock wearinʻ part. 

#LiveALOHA

#LosAngelesKahunaRox

#KEEPHAWAIINATIVE

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Years later…

cousins 4

There is no excuse for abuse…

Indeed…it is Domestic Violence awareness month.

Usually I am much more…excited…at this time of the year because yeah…I am sort of one of those women who walks on both sides of the Veil – indeed, I am one of those…Heebie Jeebie kind of aunties…the sort who are not that worried about a big scary god.

Halloween is my Christmas, and October is like my December…I give my time and my experience at this time of year, and the things that I have to share with the world in regards to domestic violence and how unaware we really are is not only a lot of information but, is organic.

I lived it.

I went through everything that you read about here no matter what you are reading. I experienced all that you are reading and I found out that there are a lot of you who are reading this who have also gone through the whole….bullying adults, and other family members who thought it was hilarious to laugh about it when someone else…typically one of our cousins…was gonʻ get leekenz.

There are things and ways of being that I have stopped the practice of, because I never started them, and to a few of the older generation in my life, they think that I did this parenting thing all wrong.

I did not have to beat, bully or belittle my kids to help them become the people who they are now. I allowed them to be who they were at every stage in their lives, and this continues now.

I am not them, and I cannot live their lives for them. I cannot make them do the things that come naturally to me. The only thing that I can do is love them, encourage them and give them the parent…the one that they have left in their lives….give them the parent that I, myself, did not have.

I never want them, even now, to feel that feeling that the people in their lives do not think very highly of them. I never want them to believe that they have to earn the love of the “big people” in their lives, and when it was that it felt like this is what they would have to do – earn what they so freely gave – they did like their mother taught them and turned and walked out of the lives of those people.

And like their mother, they did not shut the door to those people coming back BUT, the understanding is that we will not be coming to any of you, and that if you want to be part of our lives, you will have to come to us.

Among the things that I chose to NOT pass down to my kids, and the one thing that I refused to carry on into the future is this thing called rapt, even expected, fear-of-god type respect for the “adults” in our lives.

Far be it from anyone in this time and this day to bring up things that they havenʻt thought about for a long set of years. When the one thing that has been prevalent in oneʻs life for pretty much ALL the years of their life, and when one day comes along a person who would be able to give you an instance of what it is like to be loved, for real….and soon afterwards, comes the judgment.

And in my time on this planet, as both a female human being and also, Hawaiian, the one thing that no one wants to talk about is the rampant abuse that I am hoping is no longer the thing in my culture – the thing that tells us what I heard throughout childhood and the thing that, literally, in nightmares that happen more than they do not, hear now, all these years later…

“…hit first. Ask questions later.”

Yup.

I am actually going out on a limb here because at this point in time in my life, I am at that place called HAD IT – I have had it with people thinking that somehow, all the shit that I went through, throughout my lifetime, was deserved by me, by any of us, or that by this time, I ought to be over it all (guess the fuck again) …and that thing is the abuse we were told was discipline, with any kind or sized slippahs, wooden spoon, belt, rolled up newspaper. Most of the time, we were beaten, not ONLY because we got out of line (okay, I can see it) but, when we chose to “be disrespectful” which typically was when we were brave enough not only to think thoughts that were original and ours, but also, to challenge the adults in our lives…the aunties and the uncles…with what we knew as the truth.

Lots of times, I got leekenz from an unnamed source because I would challenge what I was told by them, because I was taught by my father the actual and scientific truth. It dawns on me now that the reason that a lot of my momʻs family donʻt or didnʻt like my dad is NOT because he is just opinionated, but, because the man actually knew then what he knows now…and that is that he knew what he was talking about, and was educated enough to say so. It was not his fault, like it was not and is not my fault, that my dad taught me to never be stepped on by people who ought to know better and certainly, if you know that you are right, do NOT put up with being expected to believe the wrong shit. Right is right…that is called SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE which, the man taught me very well how to utilize in my life

The thing that I have been finding out a whole lot of is that mine was not the only childhood that is still causing nightmares, is still making it feel sometimes like I am never going to be accepted as I am by any of them…at which point I remember that I no longer care what these people think of me unless and until one of them has anything to say in deference to what I know was MY specific experience.

Just because someone else wants to call it discipline, it does not mean it is not actually abuse.

I am going to, maybe, get a whole lot of crap over this one, because those who are reading that whole….quote….from our collective childhood…knows EXACTLY who it was in our lives as kids who LOVED to say that shit and while they were not affected by it…they also were not who was made to endure this shit called abuse from people who ought to have known better. That they feigned ignorance, that they called it discipline and that they still believe, maybe, that this is what this shit was….it was not ever that, and I will tell all of you now – RIGHT NOW – it will never BE discipline.

It is not discipline when you need to feel like you have to scare a kid to follow your direction, and for that matter, you are already a big person, and to a little kid who is not yet even in Kindergarten, the hardest thing to deal with, at that time in our lives, is the thought in our heads that we are always in trouble, and that we always deserved to “get leekenz”….no the hell we were not.

How about letʻs call it what the hell it was?

Letʻs call it abuse, and letʻs say that right now, my proof that there were a whole lot of our family members in our childhoods who took great pleasure in making certain that we were controlled by them, even if and when it was that they seemed to always feel that it was a brute show of force that makes us behave.

They were right in that we did behave, because what little kid is going to want to get their asses kicked by someone who is three or four times taller than they are, and who are already afraid as it is (because they are little kids, duh) and more, have been given suggestive thoughts about how it is that we were expected to treat the adults in our lives back then.

“Back then” is called the 70s, the early 80s, and back then it was nothing for lots of parents and caretakers, and specifically in those cultures considered “indigenous” to equate discipline with the “right” to physically punish a child for “getting out of line.” In those days, “getting out of line” meant anything, really, because in those days a big person could get away with abusing little people.

I hate bullies.

I Hate them with a capital H and the most vehement passion that I can muster and why?

Because – I was bullied as a child, as much as a whole lot of us Hawaiian adults were when we were kids – a whole lot of us were prepared to become someone elseʻs abuse victim, and it was by route of wild aunties and the idea that what those who came before them wanted is still what is the norm now, and no – no it is not normal that little tiny kids would run in fear for their safety from being beaten the crap out of (that years later, I find, all on my own, that they werenʻt so tough – they were bullies….all of them) us by them.

And to a whole lot of us kids, namely the boys, this was…funny….

We would make jokes about getting and giving “dirty leekenz witʻ da mud on topʻ and hearing stories from my own parents about a woman who everyone refers to as being our “wild auntie” and here in this day and age, I am, with all of this hurt, and all of this abandonment, and none of that familial love I was brought up with and at least now I am only being told to get over it, when in the past I was expected to kiss their asses so that I would be forgiven for being myself.

Okay I get it from the side that is my paternal side and at this juncture in time, and seeing as how very few people from the other side of my family has been willing to even reach out to see if I am okay in the head, the way that good Hawaiians are expected to, they have chosen to just …say aloha ʻoe and well, from my island to theirs…

LATER!

The idea that we are not supposed to feel like this after we have been not helped, and even though several of my own blood relations wanted to cure the violence in my life with further violence (and the one cousin who swears that he is a follower of Christ….yeah – these people wanted to get rid of the baby daddy with more violence….as if I needed more of that shit…keep reading…) and while I know that that was their….very sordid way…of telling me that they loved me (by right of that old testament with the eye for the eye…how very …GOP of you all…keep reading…).

And they did not think, at all, that maybe I might not want any violence in my life. Had it been like the one cousin who told me that she would like to (but was not going to) “bussacap in his ass” …and who was one of the ONLY people who came to my aid in the past….it might have been different. On that day I learned just exactly how much these people whoʻd been raised by a brute would deal with a person whose only past memories are rife with familial violence, of all sorts, and all of it to be called and excused as being “discipline.”

To this day I have nightmares about it, and to this day I still can hear their voices in my memories and no matter how much I want those memories to go away, the donʻt, and they donʻt because there is this thing called repetition, that the older generation likes doing, so as to stay in control of their brood.

This is not my imagining things, and the likelihood, again, of my getting all kinds of backlash for writing this is pretty good. And it is all because I hurt so badly, and am tired of hurting. I know that this is not the way to make shitty people own up to the things that they now know, because I have told them privately and still, they have not corrected it – so I will for them.

Again…LATER !!!

No. I am not over it, and I probably will not ever be.

It is not like every one of my family members just. themselves, were able (YES – ABLE) to get out of a marriage that was very well emotionally and spiritually over with a long, long time ago, but, because of a LOT of things, was only brought to a screeching halt about 6 months ago. I put the last nail in the coffinʻs proverbial lid in having a restraining order placed on my former spouse…because he looked for loopholes in the laws and found them, and the one that he can, that no one can ever get around is the loophole that tells us that no matter what – you disobeyed, and now you have to make amends for it.

Yet, no one thinks this way – they just believe that someone like me is going to get out of it and that that is going to be enough.

It is so not enough, and the more that I read my own words, the more that the next ones that you read…that it takes a very strong man to love a woman with an abusive past, because that man has to be able to understand when his love begins trippinʻ.

And he does.

In fact, the more that I think about the way that this man handles my emotional outbursts I am left wonder why it is that these same people who were supposed to have my best interest at heart, could not, like David has and does….make me feel okay, and remind me that I am safe in their presence?

Because they couldnʻt, as they, themselves, I now find, were not exactly feeling that safe in their own skin, and why?

It is how they were raised, that is why. And more, it is the way that lots of us Kanakas were also raised.

We were raised to get educated in the white manʻs schools, and then were told that these white men were evil. We were raised to take advantage of things that were meant to be ours, and instead we ended up fighting with each other every chance we got and why?

Because, we were taught this.

We were taught that in order to have anything, tangible or otherwise, that we have to fight for it, even if it means that sometimes, we have to go to blows with our siblings, have to take away from them whatever it is that we donʻt have because that is how you win – by fighting, rather than by trying to be the best person you can be, everyday.

You see, when talking about abuse, discipline is not the same as abuse. Disciplined children know that this is what they are.

Unfortunately, abused children do not, because they are taught to think that either way, they are being disciplined.

Usually, though, because now I am an adult, a mom, and one who has two adult kids of her own, it is because as adults we forget about what it was like to be that tiny and that vulnerable. We forget how afraid we were when we were that little and we forget that in front of us is this little human being who is absorbing things like a sponge and the one thing that we soak up when we are tiny little human people who have not been on this planet longer than 5 years is that…we are loved.

And more than that….we are loved, but with conditions and even worse than that…

…some of us were and are loved conditionally to this day by these people, and for the very life of THEM – they cannot change it. Not because they are old or set in their ways – the brain can be rehabituated at any age, even though it will take longer for new habits to form…it is still able to be remapped.

They cannot change it because they believe that they cannot, and then begins the repetition of things that cause us to go…pupule… and when we get there, we also know that the one thing that this always tells us is about the thing that we kept quiet about, for a long, long time.

I am not the only one who has. In my research and in my studies, I have found that there are a whole lot of others in our culture who are just like me.

At odds with our families, and always stressed out over what seems like a tiny infraction on their end but on our end, because of everything that was made to be a joke and to be laughed at, we are made to feel like we did, all those years ago, those tiny little people with all that fear, all because big people in our lives at that time couldnʻt deal with their own impatience, their own rage, their own feeling of lacking self worth, because yeah…they were beaten too, and it was also called discipline.

Why do I keep…rehashing…this?

Ummm…because until we are able to put down the slippah, we are always going to be just another statistic of indigenous people who are abusive to one another. The biggest black eye that tells us that this is the truth is that over time, because of all of this need for control still meted out to generations which follow their own…and sadly in my generation, where it ought to no longer exist….is that our women are dying at a phenomenal rate, and at the hands of their loved ones.

Not only or just the stereotypical lover or spouse, but, also by their families….cousins, siblings, aunties, uncles…you name it.

It has become fair game and pretty much all out war on women of indigenous origins.

Sad, yeah?

I am a woman of indigenous origins, as is my only daughter, and I am a woman who was not raised by a “tita” auntie. My mother is and has always been very much the lady. On the other side of that are my grandmother and my aunt on my dadʻs side – I do not give two shits what anyone thinks of my Auntie Bernadet – she is the shit when it comes to being the model for behavior, and as much shit as she and I have said to one another or said to anyone…I love this woman, because she has what seems very much like only the women on my dadʻs side seem to have…

Guavas…and not of the manchick sort which is the kind that gets your wild auntie who ought to have known better all those years ago that you were not liking the treatment at all, that you were not a little boy. In fact, there were a lot of women (not Auntie Bernie) who were either subservient or the opposite – way way over the top masculine in the their treatment of people, no matter what the hell anyone wants to think. The guavas are not acquired, but had through means of going through shit for real. My hat is off to her, really, because of all of my aunties, she is the one, as well as Unko Reggieʻs wife, Candy, who are as bad ass as I tell you that they are.

They are the ….aunties….of the planet, period. I am one of those…Wild Kine…Aunties, because I am also part of this thing called The Wild Women Movement, where it is that women of a certain age are not scared to be called “The Crone” and where it is that we encourage our daughters to dare to be as outrageous as we have dared our very selves to be.

I suppose that what I am trying to tell all of us is that there is no more need for the wild aunties of the planet to be at all violent, and if you were like I was, which was sort of raised by my mom with the help of one, then you know what I am trying to tell you.

We are now those people, the ones who are called Auntie, and in order for us to make certain that people grow up to be the sort of humans that we would want as representing who we are for real, then we also need to stop with the ignorance and all of the violence, and we absolutely have got to knock it off with all of the abuse that we want to call discipline.

And really, I do not give one, two, or three and a half shits about who reads this and who I share DNA with and who is going to have the power in my life to make me take my words back. I will do no such thing.

That is for those of us on this planet who are not trying to exact change.

You see, what I am doing, folks, is called my part in stopping the violence, my part in stopping the legacy of floating leis on the Pacific…whether it is your side, or mine here on #TheRockin9th – there needs to be no more leis floating on the Pacific, and there needs to be no more violence that is called discipline.

Children are people. Little girls grow up to become women who pass on those things that they learned, no matter how they learned, to their own daughters.

The one thing that I know that I have brought to my daughterʻs life is that she is right and good and even well placed in her thought that she is meant to be all that she can be…

…no matter who says what, not even her stupid dad….

Because that is how her mama taught her.

It is time to stop with calling abuse, discipline.

Slippah is meant for wearing, not for ruining tiny little people with…

#STOPTHEVIOLENCE

#AuntieSaidNO

#LosAngelesKahunaRox

#TheCrabAndTheFish

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