Photo Credit: Jordan Hogan
We each and all have a very big responsibility to take care of. We are, upon our birth, meant to take up the sword and shield of our ‘Aumakua, and instead, many of us, rather than promote our culture for the all of us, choose to perpetuate a hatred that is not ours and never was.
This is not going to be the writing that I do that is going to hide my very…Los Angeles Kahuna..style of living…and on that note – if you don’t like that I call myself Kahu, please get over it – I was raised for this, was trained by other Kahu, and not only Kahu of the same beliefs that most of us Kanaka Maoli have, but by teachers and practitioners from all beliefs, from all walks of life, from all places on this planet, and we all have come to realize the impetus that states that as such, it is our responsibility, as the healing sort of people, to come together and heal what ails all nations.
Our Maoli nation within a nation whose founders had no issue with allowing their people to come and rape and victimize our thoughts and minds has come to a place where we think …okay not WE…but a WHOLE FRIKKIN LOT OF US…want to believe that since there is no real WHITE enemy anymore, that we will turn the tables on ourselves and start messing with people within the global Hawai’ian Ohana (and yeah – I have been told, by one such person who wants to exercise such …indigenous gentrification…onto those of us who are here on the mainland, that pretty much HE is the one who knows better than a WHOLE LOT OF us- specifically ME- about what is our collective struggle, and all over my misspellings and absolute ignorance in some ways about how to spell our words correctly….yeah, no kidding, guys…please…continue reading…)
I have some very harsh words for anyone who will WILLINGLY bully and belittle a person, simply because that person is not like them in terms of the answer to the question “Where were ya born, man?”
I am sorry if I hurt your damned eyes with the way that a LOT OF MY KUPUNA taught me to write OUR language, and if dat baddah you, brah…den no read what I write…can click someplace else, yeah? But, nah…you like make stink everywhere you go, namely if it is with someone like me – a fuckin’ mainland maoli girl. I said it, so damned well deal with it…you are not the most exemplary thing in terms of OUR native language, and you likely never will be.
There is nothing more insulting than having someone from Hawai’i tell another Hawai’ian that the way that they are writing things, the way that they are expressing things is not correct and that the only way to write these things is to do thing the way that they were taught by their NOT AS OLD AS MY TUTU AUNTIES, MY TUTU WAHINES, MY TUTU PAPA ALL TAUGHT ME, and frankly, I AM VERY INSULTED AT THE IDEA THAT PEOPLE MY AGE AND YOUNGER THAN ME HAVE TAKEN IT UPON THEMSELVES TO PUNISH THOSE LIKE ME WHO WERE BORN AND RAISED ON THIS SIDE OF THE PACIFIC OCEAN !
What the hell is your problem, really?
And when the hell will you realize that you are NOT helping our GLOBAL AND COLLECTIVE CAUSE by playing fucking games with people, namely not other Hawai’ian people. The reason the damned punctuation mark is there again is because I learned that way from people who are at least twice my age – 46…and you? Well, you I don’t give three shits about..at all…because you CHOSE to humiliate me in front of a LOT of people…OUR PEOPLE…and bruddah, that doesn’t fly with this tita, at ALL. The punctuation is THERE because I was told it bothers you, and if you fuck with me, I will fuck right back with you…that’s called MAINLAND MAOLI STYLE brah…we don’t fuckin’ play here, namely not WITH ONE ANOTHER, because we actually god damned CARE here…more than you are each and all telling yourselves that we do. We care, dammit, and it ain’t up to you to make it seem like we think this is all some sort of trivial bullshit.
Get over yourselves.
If you are so interested in making things right, then why would anyone need to correct another Hawai’ian person publicly? I was okay with the idea that I would have such a person help me with my misspelling, but then I asked my Auntie Mel, a person very involved with the Hawaiian Identity movement what she thought of all of this and she was adamant about one true thing – if the guy who belittled me publicly was willing to …yeah – verbally and …in a snake like manner….openly try to make me, a mainland Hawai’ian, make A, then that guy is not someone who is for all of us. That guy is the kind of person who continually seeks to divide us. There is enough of that shit going on as is. No one needs and no one appreciates your brand of “correcting” people.
Auntie Mel -She was not long in returning her thought to me, and when I told her what was wrong, she told me, in true “auntie kine” style…that I ought to tell that guy to kiss my royal HAWAI’IAN OKOLE….that’s right, brah…OKOLE…and I really do not care one little bit what you think of me or my use of ANY language. You really do not want to know what the hell it is that I think of you and people like you, people who will try shame others, just because they think they can. You are the worst kind of Hawai’ian – the kind who is like me…HEINZ FRIKKIN 57 BRAH. The sort who hides behind his education in whatever the hell it is that is not helping you do more than offend your own people with your quietly bullying ways…
…you are as Hawai’ian as any one of us is, and you are as aloof as a lot of others are, who are as equally educated, but equally IGNORANT, because as much as we can learn from you folks over there, you stand and might NEED to learn a whole LOT of stuff from us over here.
And yeah…no get too okole sore about what it is that you are reading here, because for me to have to practically BEG YOU TO NO LONGER MESS WITH ME IN PUBLIC…THIS IS WHAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST – that you REFUSED to respect what was requested, which tells a whole lot about who you are as a person. It was almost as though you took great pleasure in fucking with someone who really and actually could have used some guidance. But, nah…you wanted to make fun, that’s all. Well, I can make fun, too, but, my mother, my two Tutu ladies, my Auntie Liz and Auntie Mel would have a whole lot of fun with me if I chose to sink to your level. No thank you.
They scare me. You piss me off…BIIIIIIIG difference there, bruddah…big, big BIG difference.
Let us get one thing very black and white, very “Los Angeles…with an attitude” fucking clear, okay?
We here on this side of the Pacific are not trying to make ourselves more Hawai’ian than anyone else, and we would appreciate it if you who like thinking this way, and you who like fucking with us, and you who like to make trouble where none needs to be…we would appreciate it if you finally accepted that you are NOT going to make us go away, and that we are NOT going to be bullied or fucked with by you and you are no match for wits with a person who is not only educated, but also educated as Kahuna BY Kahuna – FROM THE BIG ISLAND…and really, I ain’t scared of you, or what you think you are going to do in terms of ruining my reputation as that Kahu – the Kahu from Los Angeles – you can’t.
People actually like me here, and they like my specific brand of fighting the powers that (think they) be. Specifically the sort that you think YOU are and ARE NOT.
We on this side of the ocean are simply trying to be the best Hawai’ians that we can be, and it is NOT up to you to judge us for it.
You ought to be trying to meld with us, with the idea in your fucking heads that if we band together on BOTH SIDES of the Pacific – WE MIGHT ACTUALLY GET A LOT STRONGER in the fight OVER THERE with us backing you and US BEING THE REST OF THE KANAKA MAOLI POPULATION, but no…
Instead, you make us prove to you who we are, some of you do, and well, I know that this particular PISSED OFF (Mainland) Maoli girl is PAU WITH THAT CRAP…period. You are not the best Hawai’ian you can be if what you are serving to do is simply make any of us here on this side of the ocean Make-A, which is what you fucking did to me, dude…not cool, at all.
Yeah..I know…my language is not that nice, and it won’t be, because I am true and truthful with who I am, and I have nothing to prove other than the FACT that maybe it is not that you want to divide us, but that you have no clue of how to make us not be all what you want to be all on your own, but can’t be without us.
Yeah…you cannot be as strong as you want to be without us and our help over here. Once again, I said it, I will continue to say it, and if you don’t like it, we don’t give a fuck – DEAL WITH IT. You need our help, but you don’t want it, because that might make us that one thing that not a lot of people will admit us as being, and that is ABLE TO HELP MAKE THIS ALL HAPPEN….because for us, it is not about the land and who owns it, but about our culture and us not wrecking it further, like a WHOLE LOT OF US LIKE TO DO by dividing us with your rhetoric and your bullshit and all of your fake kine aloha….
You might do better in all of this if you chose to stop with the god damned arrogance, with the “mo’ bettah den you” bullshit and started really seeing us for who and what we are – which is NOT LESS THAN YOU. That I could ask someone if they would please help me by not making me feel more humiliated is one thing, but that the person who this exchange I went through refused to, at first, because obviously he likes to make people suffer if he thinks he has an upper hand in anything…we shall say it was VERY telling…very, very telling indeed.
I would sooner be roiled by someone speaking Spanish to me and not realizing that I am Hawai’ian and not Hispanic (Hui!! Mary Nam…que pasa, mi prima? Howzit little cousin? I Love You you Hawa-exican tita you !!) than I will ever allow it that someone else…someone who I had someone else check background on have control over my place in this global community of Kanaka Maoli people.
…and bruddah – like go tit for tat with me? Because really…I don’t think you do, because you can say and do all you want to, and be one stink bruddah all you like, but the bottom line truth is that not only am I as Hawai’ian as anyone Hawai’ian would be, but, I am probably way more…intellectually inclined than you are ever, ever going to be (Neuropsych brah…no broke yo’ brain tryin’ fo’ catch up). Who taught you to be like that to anyone who is like you – raised Hawai’ian – and by what right have you to make it seem as though somehow, you are better than I am, just because you know where the hell the god damned apostrophe goes in OUR words?
Note that I called it APOSTROPHE, for the simple fact that I GREW UP IN THE MAINLAND, and that alone threatens a WHOLE LOT OF YOU.
And plenty of you feel like this for one reason…we really DO have a lot more at our disposal, and the only thing that anyone can hang over our heads is that we were not born there, but here, which, I believe, now that I have been abused by one of my own (or not….you ain’t full blooded…like none of us truly is anymore….you are a sham and a phony….you are “island” but…your other origins are as fucked off as mine are…by the way…welcome to MY classroom, bruddah…and that’s Professor Asshole, to you, specifically..keep reading because you know you cannot stop) is as ridiculous as is anyone there messing with anyone here, over, of all things, the way our words are spelled.
It does not make us less Hawai’ian, and no one like you ever will.
My Hapa-Haole cousin, Kapiolani, would run rings around you…that tita can speak several different foreign languages and includes her learning our Hawai’ian language, too. She is exquisitely educated, as is her sister. As I am. As MANY of us are…your degree is not what matters, neither where it was earned. It is what you do with it that matters, and look at what you did with it. You did not help, or try to heal – your initial response was to harm….
What I really want to know is why it is that you chose to make me feel like I had to explain things to you, as though you are some fucking authority on things “Hawai’ian,” and by the way, my TUTU AUNTIES TOLD ME THAT YOU ARE WRONG…and that I can leave my spelling of “Hawai’ian” WITH the punctuation mark in it, and that you can go jump off a cliff…forget into the ocean, because you might know how to swim and really, no shark would eat you (brain dead is not the same as body dead).
I suppose that I am not the only one who feel like this, like we have to explain to people who already ought to know that we are all in this together, just like the movie High School Musical says we are. (I used that as a descriptor so that those of us reading this will get it without having to clarify over a fucking apostrophe…haha…a catastrophe caused by an apostrophe…so high school are some folks, including me right this moment and I really do not give a shit or four about who thinks what of it or me…keep reading).
The bottom line is that what is apparent to me is that we are not the ones who are carrying on this fight with ourselves. To bring us together is the thing that we must do. There are a lot of us here on the mainland who are trying as hard, perhaps harder, than a lot of people who live in the ‘Aina do. Get mad all you want, but it is the truth. There are a lot of you who have turned us in to your enemies, have made us into your foolish target all because we wanted to know something that you know. That shit is over with. We would rather be able to depend on our own people, but when it is that our own people make us do things that we would not do for anyone, preferring to humiliate than to educate for real, those who are in this collective global battle for the truth of who we are, then you are not doing anyone any kind of good at all.
What you are doing is still fighting an enemy who no longer breathes, and when it is that you cannot turn yourselves away from the ones who you want to actually turn into that enemy (all of the descendants of the people who came and took our lands who now show up on our shores to buy our puka shells and wear their black dress socks with slippahs and ugly Walmart aloha shirts with really really bad cargo shorts), you turn to us…us here on the mainland who are as Hawai’ian as anyone would be, and us here on the mainland who have been spurned for decades over a fucking zip code or a place of birth.
We will never get anywhere like this, never be able to claim victory over what was taken and the people who took it if all it is that a whole lot of us Kanaka Maoli are willing to do is turn their own people into the enemy.
I said it
Deal with it
Hate me all you want to, but know I am speakin’ the truth
Now get on out there and be good god damned Hawai’ians…the world is waiting for us…