Auntie said NO! – Love Ought Not Hurt…

Floating leis 9th island july 12 2018

The saddest thing in the world to me at this time in our lives as Kanaka Maoli, is that we have yet to realize that it is now our generationʻs “turn” to create great change in our lives, specifically for Na Wahine….we need no more leis floating on the ocean…not one more…

I make it no secret – I am a survivor of Domestic Violence. 

I do not only recognize this month as the time of the year that we will raise awareness. When you are someone who has been there, done that and knows that you busted your okole just to get to safety, the last person who anyone wants to take to task is that person, that expert and as that expert and someone who raises awareness, I get a bit… nuha… about things.

Yeah…unfortunately, I Am a Domestic Violence expert, and the way that I got to be this was experience as someoneʻs victim. While I cannot state that the reason he abused me for almost three decades was that he was haole because not all haoles are evil. My ex was entitled, a spoiled brat, a person who liked things to look like they were lovely and quiet and idyllic, but things were anything but that. They were ugly, and that experience traumatized me. People in my extended family started talking stink about me, saying that I must like the dirty leekenz, making jokes at my expense and making my already shattered state at the time that much worse.

My life partner now, whose name is David, is not Maoli, but, in his heart and soul, he is every bit the guy who my mom would want me to have in my life.

For one good reason – David is not violent, at all.

He loves me.

He tells me this everyday of my life, and yeah, because he is not Maoli – of course he does not realize that pineapples are not indigenous to Hawaii. I was born here on #TheRockin9th….meaning that in the “where were ya born, mang?” sense of things, technically I am also not indigenous to the mother land, even though my roots are.

He calls me Pineapple… and it is fine that he does.

The reason being…???

The man has never raised his hand to me, and like all men, has raised his voice once or twice but, typically, he remembers that I am human and that even I, no matter how much he loves me, knows that I am not perfect…no one is perfect, and it usually is over something that might have offended him, or more – hurt him, something I said that triggered him, because he has been through what I have been through.

#IPV also is a guy thing, and one that a whole lot of men have gone through.

Women, I will agree, do things from an emotional place….it does not excuse it, but, it gives you a clue as to what happened to anyone when they were kids….yes, even men, and yes, in every way that a hurtful woman can hurt a man.

I am not the hurting sort, and he is well aware of this.

I Am Hawaiian.

We are raised to speak Aloha fluently, to live in the Love and Light that is Aloha.

It is my duty as part of that energy to do as I teach others, which is to remain in the Spirit that is ALOHA.

Sometimes, I will admit, I let my podaghee moutʻ get a bit on the waha side and when that happens, it is done so in writing, just like this is being done, right this minute. 

Anʻ I tell you folks what….I Am very GOOD at getting real, real….Wild Auntie….about things, but truly, dearly and definitely when it comes to our place in this world as Wahine but more, that our places in the world in the literal sense are free from abuse. 

In another writing, I let it be known that this is a very bad thing…and what is making it worse are television shows where the “stars” allow it that their abusers be allowed to come back into the home. And in that instance, as with many of them that we hear so much about – children are present

I am writing today on behalf of us all….even the guys….it is not that I am only addressing the issue that we are continually turning a blind eye to – #IPV, also known as Domestic Abuse …but more, that we have, all us sistahs, without our realizing it, become da Aunties of da world ….and on behalf of all of us, I have a lot to say today, namely to the women who comprise the Aunties of the world, but more, about the idea that it is ours, now, to help stop this other… disease…. this scourge called Intimate Partner Violence….Intimate Partner Violence…. 

So, yesterday, I wrote about #DomesticViolence, and how my kids and I were able, after a very, very long set of years, to make OUR abuser be gone from our lives. Currently, there is a court order – a few of them – that our abuser violated, and likely at the behest of a group of other abusers I know very well.

Wherever they are, those particular abusers, right this moment, to me, does not matter.

I am one of those people who believes what her mother told her and that is that “we ye sow, so shall we reap.”

And in my own language….anʻ harm ye none, do what ye will…. 

While I know that this is not our Ancient language, the meaning behind it is the same….do whatever you like do, but, no hurt anyone, yeah? (I Am from Los Angeles, and we have to adapt the things that we learned from our parents, the majority of them from that side of the water – I take the Wiccan Rede to be one of the most important pieces of literature for ALL humans to read and to adhere to…please….kokua me and keep reading….mahalo )

So, imagine what it must be like to hear that on both sides of the ocean, there is another “disease” that takes us out of life as does all the others that for generations, we have heard about and at least where I Am and some of my cousins are concerned, we have made it so that we are more aware of our health as being ours to take care of. Included in that “taking care of our health,” is keeping ourselves safe from harm. When the harm lives in your house, it is not easy to get away from.

Earlier I was asked about a couple of things, and one of those things was what it is that I have an opinion about in regards to how long it will be before there are new, unspoken rules, and when will it happen that those unspoken rules will become what we live by, and most importantly, when are the Aunties going to change it all up?

To which I only have to state to the women in my culture who are almost 50….sistahs – WE ARE THE AUNTIES NOW, meaning that we have some pull in terms of what is and what is no longer acceptable for the future of our people. The one thing that is MOST unacceptable to a whole lot of us is NOT floating leis on the ocean, but, floating leis on the ocean which memorialize one naddah sistah whose life was taken by someone else, taken through means of violence…

I Am made sick by the stories, stories of my cousins being in comas, fighting for their life, and tired of knowing that for a long time, my brilliant, multi-lingual cousin, and one who is in charge of the lives of others in terms of keeping families safe….also, in the emotional, psychological sense, as well as another who was swept away to the windy city, for as long as I was gone from what I knew to be real – to be and to have what every mother wants for her kids, but specifically her daughters, to have in their lives as the marriages that were our parentsʻ and marriages that to this day, have lived on and at this point for several decades.

Truly being “until death do we part…”

We are now the Aunties

We are now that group of women who, when we were children, were like our other moms – my life was rife with Aunties, and in my life, I can only recall my Auntie Liz and my Auntie Kalei and all the ones who were their Aunties and how much I loved those women, lots more than I knew I did.

They were who taught me that there is nothing more important than to Love other than to be safe. They were also who taught me that no matter what, as long as I knew myself, as long as I was a good kid, that one day, I would be rewarded for it all. This was my first lesson about Karma, about sowing what we reap.

You cannot imagine, like I cannot imagine, what must have gone through their heads when they learned of the uninvited energy that was violence against me, that was what I never saw, at least by my father to my mother.

I never thought that I would be an abused woman, but I was, and I never thought that what I saw others go through would also be what I would have to go through…yes – have to….because no one I knew or who knew me went through this.

If they did, they did a very good job hiding it.

My fatherʻs mother hid it, but we all knew Waltah was abusive, was a drunk, was someone who no mother of any daughter would want as their son-in-law. I recognized it after it was happening to me, and I was very vigilant in making that old man know that without a doubt, while many in the family knew and did not say anything about it to him, I did. And I did not care that that old fucker hated me for it, did not mind that I was that one who bothered to take it as a slight when I was told by a few people that I ought to just take his shit because that is how things were done – we let abusers abuse while we look away and no one will think that that shit exists in our family.

My grandmother hid the abuse as best she could, but I always knew.

When she fell ill after Waltah died is when, through her fading short term memory but her memories that made her flinch when someone was arguing, the way that she hid in her room when someone told her that my dad was going to be home…she went and hid in her room, sometimes crying could be heard through the door. I had no idea that what she was experiencing was her memories, and memories that were sparked by hearing me and my ex exchanging heated ill feelings for each other.

I never hid it.

Hiding it is not going to help stop the leis from being floated on the Pacific. Hiding it is not going to make it go away. Hiding it is not going to make abusers stop abusing.

Hiding is only going to make it grow moʻ big, because as a planting people, we know that Pō is the darkness, and in the darkness is when things germinate and grow and we also all know that eventually Ao will be what happens – the light will come and will show, through that light, the truth of things.

I made it known, and folks donʻt realize that I left more times than they knew I did, and that when I called on them, it was the last thing, and they were the last people who I wanted knowing, and it was because of my history with THEM excusing the abuse for the entirety of my life, and abuse that is now central to my research in the Psychology of Abuse, abuse which is the thing that fuels me, every single day of my life, to make it known to the world that we are pissed and we are no longer willing to be placed in memoriam, to be represented by a lei floating effortlessly on the Pacific Ocean.

The Truth of Things

The truth of things is that our women are dying at the hands of the people they chose to love. The truth of things is that our younger women are trying hard to not accept this happening but what they do not understand is that it is they who will stop it from happening to themselves, but for the rest of us, it will be Ka lahui wahine….all us Aunties who are now here and ready to tell all those younger women that they do not have to stay in the violence, that they are not meant to be targeted by anyone, and that most of all, we are here to listen to you, to help you, even if we are way over here on this side of the water. 

It is, in my opinion, our duty as these women in the collective lives of Maoli women everywhere to make them all know that the rules are being rewritten in terms of safety, in terms of good leekenz and when it is appropriate, of everything that we saw and felt was wrong but had to accept because it was our lives and our lives, at those times, as keikihine, were rife with abuse.

No one can tell me otherwise, and no one will make me believe anything else.

We have a very real problem with abuse in our culture, and for generations it has been ignored or worse – called discipline and either way, it was through those energies that abuse on women and children was made culturally acceptable.

It is so not.

Since when was it okay to make it appear that a woman or a child was somehow meant to be “disciplined” in the “old Hawaiian way,” and a way that keeps the elders in the family worshiped rather than honored ?

When was it okay that beyond reason, we are here to take more and more abuse, more and more people shaming us, teaching us how to hate those who are not Maoli, but at the same time expected to respect ourselves, and how can we do that when the elders in our lives helped promote the abuse, helped make it a joke, that thing called “Dirty Leekenz witʻ da mud on top” ? 

When are we going to make it that, as Ka Poʻe Aloha – the People of Aloha – we are the representatives of that in action as much as in our words, in our promises, in the way that we honor the lives of those who taught us, perhaps unwittingly, that corporal punishment is still acceptable, is still the way that people are made to respect others and when is it that we will no longer be who has decided for ourselves and the future that we do not accept this way anymore…that we never believed that in order for us to be good Hawaiians, we had to deal with really, really bad ones? 

You can get okole sore all you like but you cannot get away from the facts.

And you can sit there stating publicly or to yourself that I have been brainwashed by the smog and the hippies here in Southern California, can make this be one of those things where an entire whole of us will deny me what far too many of us agree on and that is that the time for dirty leekenz has truly come to its end. When the thing that kills women faster than will anything hereditary can, and when it is that entire families are still calling abuse – no matter what kind – discipline ….it means that the new generation of Aunties needs to now come to the forefront of these issues that are not just global, but, also is unfortunately part of our world as Maoli people.

Hui !! Sistahs…Hoʻonāna … please kokua me and pay attention…

Because we have each and all reached “Auntie Age” it is now upon us not only to preserve the things that make us be the people we are meant to be, Ka Poʻe Aloha…The Aloha People ….it is our kuleana to now take up the reigns and take all our behbehs into the future…for #AllUsGuys….so that those kids who call us Auntie, Mom, Tutu….so that those kids will know that they were born out of Love, that they are here for a reason and that reason is for them, not for someone else to decide. When was it ever a good thing that a child believes that he is the reason why his mom or dad or auntie or unko is behaving like a dickhead, and when was it that we, ourselves, ever thought that we were lolo and was it okay that we would be these people who those people, some of them, would take it upon themselves to carry on the tradition of violence at home?



Thatʻs when.

This is ours, Sistahs, to make it our rallying call, our Kahea to the world that tells everyone living on it hoʻonānā and hoʻolohemai…. to pay attention and to listen… PLEASE LISTEN and KOKUA!

We are dying, you folks, everyday. Sometimes it is from illnesses that are hereditary, sometimes it is from an actual accident, and sometimes it is from the worst possible thing to have to live through…and sadly, we donʻt all live to tell the secrets we hold on to, out of shame, out of disbelief, out of the idea that our families will tell us that we deserved it, returning us back to those times when we were little kids and those same people blamed us for an adult going straight up pupule on a child, who beats that kidʻs ass with the family telling the kid that they should have behaved because if the kid would have behaved, the kid would not have gotten his or her ass kicked.

Granted, some kids get leekenz because I am certain that no one who has been told to not play with matches and then the house is set on fire is not directly related to it….even I do not have THAT much faith in people. THAT is different, but even THAT does not warrant an ass kicking that no one who is an adult can recover from, let alone a kid….my question there is who left the damned matches where he could get to them, and why is it that every time a kid fucks up, even setting the house on fire, that kid is a bad kid for the rest of his life? I was that kid…no one believes me. It was not my parents, but the assumption made by the conglomerate I called my family that opened the door for it to be normal to me…how many times has any one of us heard, in our lifetimes, and how many of us hear it in our sleep….”Hit first. Ask questions later” ? 

…and more…how many times did your auntie or your unko or your tutu or even one of your parents show you that it was their truth, that they were violent, and how many times did your family laugh, stating that that person was just like that?

How many times was it that you hid away in silence, tears rolling from your eyes, and how many times did you say you were sorry for pissing some adult off, and how many times did you hear the story about your evil deed as that child being repeated to the rest of the adults in your family….and more….how many times did your own parents just excuse the violence because for them, the violence was a normal everyday part of life and even though no one would say it – it was also, because of cultural norms that we now have the right, the power and the Kuleana – the DUTY – to change, not only for ourselves, but for the future generations of Maoli people the world over?

How many times…???

A lot…that is how many…a whole fuckinʻ lot….

On the whole we are a culture whose time has come where we have to stop this unneeded violence placed on to the women and the children of our people, of ALL people.

We have to #UnSilenceTheViolence, make it known that the days of unwarranted, and even warranted, Dirty Leekenz, needs to be made real. We no longer have to live in the energy that is the shame from the past.

We are the Aunties….and we need to change our world….

#UnSilenceTheViolence #NoMoreFloatingLeis #KaLahuiWahine #LiveALOHA #LosAngelesKahunaRox #StopTheViolence #NCADV #SouthernCalifornia #LosAngeles  #Hawaii #Maoli #Samoa #Tonga #NewZealand #AllUsGuys




All Hawaii Join Together

I know, I know….it would never be this big of a deal if our peoplesʻ history was not what it was, and it would not be this big if we, as an indigenous people, had the same recognition that does every other indigenous people who call the USA their …place of address…because apparently, #AllUsGuys are not being taken seriously.

And we want people to take us seriously, and in not taking us seriously, we come to this breaking point where one might think twice about using words that have nothing to do with the thing at hand and the thing at hand, always for anyone Maoli, is that we are meant to preserve and protect our culture so that we can keep it alive.

We donʻt need baboozes from Chicago taking advantage of something that he barely knows the meaning of, all for the purpose of profit. Add to it the insult that is the letter written, NOT to apologize, because in order for it to be an apology, there has to be the element of empathy and in reading that letter I found not one tiny little bit of it – just more of the same thing….some damned settler telling us pretty much to get over it, with his covering his sorry ass with the words that only make us more angry.


You do not get to take advantage, then try to sue people, then expect those same people to give a shit about what you have to say in your defense, and really dude – that is all that was…your stupid letter is anything but sincere, and if it were, it would not matter because the bottom line is that we are not here for the further whoring out of our culture, and damned skippy we are NOT GOING TO TAKE IT VERY well and neither kindly if you decide that you somehow can make a buck and pretty much tell us that we have no choice in who uses our language for their own profit.

That ainʻt gonna fly, you bald headed man bitch…ever, ever, ever….oh, hello…let me introduce myself with my settler name….Itʻs Roxanne…but Hawaiians…shit, Maolis from all over Polynesia….refer to me as Aunty, or Mapu…and in either case, you probably do not want to argue with a wild heebie jeebie Aunty, and I know of no human being who trusts an ape to keep them safe….you donʻt want to argue with either

Either way, you are done. You pissed off an entire culture of people, and we even have one of our lawmakers in on it….you are so so so PAU HANA with your business venture.

I said it.

Deal with it.

You turned what is OUR culture into YOUR profit, then you went on to brazenly behave as though somehow we are all a bunch of stupid savages when in reality what you have in your face now is an entire nation of people who are fucking tired of who you people think you are. You are not the people who you want the world to think you are, and you are not here to make our culture any better with your pretty poke and your ugly face – besides, brah….RAW FISH AINʻT SUPPOSED TO BE DRESSED IN DRAG…and that is what your poke looks like..the drag queen of all poke.

And I promise…I have a LOT of friends who are drags, and none of them, after I told them to look at your post, cares to any longer eat your decrepit fish and only because your fancy fish can never ever come close to the Aloha involved in preparing the correct kind of poke – the kind that is prepared by your Tutu Lady in her kitchen in Pauoa valley in the city of Honolulu…for many, many generations.

You took what was ours and did so with little regard for an entire indigenous people. You stole it, tried to take it by force using the law, as if our word is your Standing Rock moment, and then tried to make it better with your phony apology (again…Standing Rock) – good gracious cannot have a bunch of indigenous people crawling up your ass for anything, right? And OH NO! Theyʻre EDUCATED !!!!

Yes. Yes we are…lots and lots of us are very well educated, and lots of us are sitting here looking at the things that your people think is ok to do because your ancestors did it to ours, and well, no can do, bruddah….that part of your peoplesʻ ugly, selfish, sheltered, greedy, vanilla-white-boring culture is OVER WITH.

Your blatant use of our language, and the lies told about their use, the way that you excused the use and then to try to make us believe that you are sorry for insulting us?

You need to think about the injury to an entire nation of indigenous people, and you need to realize that we are not in the times of the indentured folks, even though the guy in presidential office seems to believe that he will get away with the crimes that he has committed, against families and cultures, and here you are taking that same risk as if we are not going to stand up and make a big fat noise about it..think the fuck again.

We are not those people who you saw on Gilliganʻs Island, and neither are we the Kanakas who people used to make fun of, call us “Dan-O” and make certain that the laugh was on us, as though even as children we were not able to see your issues with a people more rich in culture and beauty than your ass is…I said it, DEAL WITH IT.

You like be Kanaka?

I donʻt think you can hang.

In fact, what proves me right is that you thought so little of our gorgeous culture and our ways of Aloha that you would take advantage of it and try hard to make your initial bullshit better by telling us that you are going to do what you want with OUR language, no matter what. This is just like other people trying to bring a fucking tea house to the middle of the ʻhood where NO ONE DRINKS THE FANCY FUCKINʻ TEAS THAT THAT STUPID BROAD BROUGHT WITH HER, and you are not different in any other way than that the world can forgive a woman for being a woman but a sordid man with no thought in his head other than that of profits is inexcusable.

We are Ka Poʻe Aloha – the People of Aloha, and you have taken what is our greatest identifier and made it into a means by which you will profit. You should think about this for a bit, because we are not taking this shit or your shit lightly, and if you try to use our language for YOUR profit, we are going to stand up and make you stand down, no matter what you think. Be it profits being lost, or the closure, one after another, of your establishments that ought to have never even been opened, given that you took what is so …ours…and put a dollar amount on it, just like your pale-faced settler ancestors.

In some places, doing what you have done can be considered a hate crime, because we are all feeling like you tried to steal the Aloha for profit and no, brah, it is so not for sale. Your bullshit caused yet another collective wound to our collective Aloha Soul, and because of the indigenous thing, to us it is ALL A HATE CRIME.

You are the very epitome of indifference.

You are whoring us out, and we donʻt even get the sports car or the apartment that your partner in life might not know about…that is, until we make some noise about it.

You need to stop already…did Tutu Pele teach you NOTHING about how Maolis get things done?

Do you even KNOW who Tutu Pele is?

To My Fellow Maolis, the world over…

It ought to be very clear to us, just with this Friedlander guy, that our work in this world and in the furtherance of the Aloha Spirit and our collective Maoli culture is far from over.

We can think of this as the Mercurial retrograde coming to life, all over again for us, in that we are being revisited with the whole Kalalau Valley stuff, only this time, it is not over the use of our Sacred lands, but, over the misuse of our language for profit.

It is our duty as Maoli to protect our cultures, to provide for the future generations, not only of our own children, but that of others through our children, to give to them the Aloha that we are most noted for – it is, after all, our Kuleana, as well, to make certain that we also teach them the things that we were not taught, at least not all of us.

Most of us were taught to talk stink topically but to covet what others had, and we were taught to judge who was different than we are and then one day there were people there in our lives, people who refer to us as “Mom” or “Dad” and people, by right of their own growing Maoli pride, who are not allowing it that the powers who think they be take further advantage of everything that is collectively ours.

And at the same time, ALL OF US were taught that Aloha is OURS to give, and never one time were any one of us told that it is up for sale like our lands were up for grabs, and now there is this …frikkin guy….who thinks his words are anything but hollow….that much doesnʻt matter. That guy is a representative of everything and everyone we have spent generations trying hard to break free from, and here is this damned haole guy.

His words, his apology …Theyʻre as hollow as a nose flute….and with twice as much hanabattahs

#BoycottAlohaPoke #NoAlohaPokeCo #FightForAloha #LosAngelesKahunaRox



Born Maoli….

arise spring 2017

To grow up Maoli means something

It means that we have lots to account for, and lots that is our own collective Kuleana.

It wasnʻt that I needed to watch the Native Hawaii episode of United Shades of America that has prompted this blog post entirely. What it actually did was gave me a reason to write today.

I have not been writing a whole lot lately, because I have a whole lot happening that is not totally out of my control but surely feels like it. The one thing that I have in my control is Being, always, Who exactly and What exactly I Am. 

For some, I Am Auntie Rox (and some of those some are in the photo with me). For some, I Am “Reverend,” and others, “Mom,” and to one, “Pineapple.” Yet, for the world of Maoli people, no matter your or anyone elseʻs Maoli Self…I Am Kahuna.

I wear it like I wear my band t-shirts, like I wear my hair wild and crazy and out of control, and I wear it, #MainlandMaoli style, with metal horns way, way up \m/ \m/… and I know, too, that I wear all of these things as well as I possibly can.

Who we are as a Native People is very important to me, as much is the preservation of our culture. I like believing, on some level, that I Am heading towards something bigger than me, and on the way there, I Am meeting up with others like me…apparently, and according to the video, we have a lot of work to do. We have, in this country, become a country within a country.

The most important thing, though, no matter what, is that we have not ever forgotten who we are as a People, as Ka Poʻe o Ka Wai: The People of The Water (and yes, Kareʻl, it is still being written…I had no clue why it was and still is taking this long…I Am sure I will find that out soon enough…anyway…keep reading, you folks…mahalo) and that is a very important thing, and made more so by someone like myself, who is a water sign in Pisces. I Am represented by the water element, in Pisces, meaning that it is natural that I Be the Leader of the School of Fish Who I Am.

For me, it is not now nor has it ever been that I consider Hawaii Maoli to be any sort of …fish….to be led in a school, but that, as Who and What I Am, it is my Kuleana to sometimes, namely when we are talking about our people on this side of the ocean…it is my Kuleana to remind us all who have grown up on this side to never hide your Aloha, and to #LiveALOHA no matter what. It is our duty, our place in this lifetime to do so.

Without us, there is no instance, no teaching the younger ones, no reminding the older ones, no communicating this loudly, proudly, screaminʻ and jamminʻ , which is really the only way that we here on #TheRockin9th know how to do things. I Am not different.

In fact, I Am One who is leading that charge here in my neck of the mainland, am one who is not shy about teaching others about our actual ways.

Those are the ways of Aloha, of Unconditional Love and Compassion. They are how each and every one of us, no matter where we were born – here on this side of the water or there on that side…every single one of us was born into this madness called “Being Maoli” and more of us are coming to this thought in our heads everyday that we need to be a bigger part of Who and What we are in our daily lives because if not, then the collective energy that is Living in the Light of Aloha gets dimmer and dimmer, not only for ourselves, but, for the rest of humankind, as well. 

We are not meant to keep who we are to ourselves, even as we are also not meant to just give who we are away in hopes for their acceptance of what we represent. We are the only actual descendants of the actual and documented royal family in the history of the United States as a country, and the one that the governing people at that time and all the time, as I have been saying for years, chose to oppress for profit.

I know that we are under the guise of a president, BUT, it does not …NOT eliminate the FACT that lots of us can claim our royal roots, but, lots of us do not behave as though we have royal roots, preferring to become a royal pain in the okole for others with a false show of bravery, of aloha, of solidarity through the mechanism of talking stink about people within our own ancestry.

My job in this lifetime is to make it clear, not only to myself, but to the very all of us – we hail from royalty – NOW ACT LIKE IT. This includes learning to NOT have an opinion about those within our culture who do not behave like jackasses, who do not perpetuate the hatred that is born of misunderstanding, mostly of our singular, private selves, and always, for many of those who feel like they are oppressed, shows in their unconscious behaviors and thoughts.

I Am not stating, in any manner, that those who choose to live on sovereign lands, even in the 50th state, are behaving in any other manner than that which is NORMAL for ANY Native peoples…which is to live off of the land, even if there are some modern conveniences.

Am I stating that our people are mostly dullards with no clue about who we are because all those ones seem to believe is that this is all we are and all that we were ever meant for? Oh HELL no I am not.

No is saying that there are not those who choose to believe, and state, and present that energy that we are the most oppressed bunch. Really, all we have to do is #ONIPAA and #NEVERBACKDOWN from the FACT that not only is the land over there rightfully ours still BUT, more important than that – WE ARE REPRESENTING THE LAND BECAUSE WORLDWIDE, no matter what and no matter where you happen to call your place of birth, if you are Maoli of ANY KIND….you, too, are the very Land that you and your ʻAumakua are part of. 

You are the Land, as well as the Monarchy, as well as every bit of the beauty that is there and ours and hopefully will always be…

We are anything but Native American, even as they are our hanai ohana – like us, they, too, have fought for the right to Be everything that they have been placed into this lifetime to Be. When a group of settlers comes in and starts making issues where none existed previously is where every indigenous group on this planet and specifically here in the states ends up becoming that thing called disenfranchised and right now, I am not claiming that for myself but in many ways, I am very much one of those people.

And yeah…my local governing agencies let me know, in no uncertain terms, that I Am indeed Native, of the Maoli sort.

That part..the Maoli sort….never matters, unless you are me, or you are Maoli.

It is not a sin to love the skin you are in…it is only a sin when someone else makes it be one.

I Am not going to stand down ever and not remind people to be who they are and take who you are out into this world and BE EVERYTHING THAT YOU ARE. Let no one tell you that you have to take things the way that they get handed to you, and no matter what – always be true to your own Maoli soul.

Do not decide that wearing the customs, and the dialects, and the mannerisms of ANY OTHER CULTURE is better than your own .

In my time as Ordained Person, as literally being a Mainland Kahuna Wahine (and yeah I DO have a Loʻi and am planning another one….and NO I will NOT post photos of it…because it was planted and restored for my mother….so no be niele…just keep reading) of the Laʻāu Lapaʻau sort, I am reminded that it is my duty, my Kuleana, not only to give a damn, but to promote our culture in ways that only I Am Able to. This does not mean that anyone else is doing things wrong. It just means that where I Am concerned, like where we each and all are solely concerned – we have to…HAVE TO BE everything that we are, at all times, and this is not a bad thing.

Once you wear your Aloha on your sleeve, it becomes apparent to the rest of the world that Who You Are for real means something. Who I Am for real means a lot to me because I have a very big Kuleana in this lifetime. I Am here to be one of those people who will state what it is that the majority of #AllUsGuys wants to say but might not have the words, or perhaps might not have the strength – I get it. It took me a while, as well, to begin to see the value in doing things MY way, in terms of being a #MainlandMaoli person.

We who were born and raised on the 9th island are not lesser than anyone else. With the way that we are seeing things happen anymore, we are being shown, everyday, our purpose. It might not be outright, and it might not be what everyone else who is part of All Us Guys wants to see, because it bothers what is their level of “normal.”

And I have to remind people that when I finally let it out of the bag, the idea that the reason why it seems to them that I Am otherwordly, that I seem to hold some sort of secret “thing” about me and that for the most part, there is this inherent….Mana…about me that even as it is dressed up like I Am announcing the next band to take the stage, still…the Light of my Maoli Soul is the thing that comes out first.

No matter what.

We can no longer be guided by our egos, but only by our Magnificent Brightly lit Selves as Souls.

We are not only Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai, but, we are also Ka Poʻe Aloha…the People of Aloha.

That is far more important than is being a royal pain in the ass, ainʻt it?

#LivALOHA #LosAngelesKahunaRox #TheCrabAndTheFish #MainLandMaoliPride #AriseMtSac #ONIPAA #MALAMA #LahuiAloha #AlohaAina #MalamaYourAina #TheRockin9th #TheOG8

OLA KA INOA (“The Name Lives”)

“You are given a name and you become that name, live up to the character of that name”

(Kumu Hula Vicky Holt Takamine, in a discussion about PBS Hawaii film E Haku Inoa: To Weave a Name)

Kanaka Maoli…heck any kine Maoli … you know it…our names ROCK !!

They do.

They tell stories, give a glimpse of someoneʻs lineage, both human and cosmic. There is no mistaking that indeed we do take on the energy and the Spirit of our names. As well, our names have varied meanings, and on this alone it makes us who we are, which is nothing short of Magickal.

The photos are of the kids I refer to as being mine – three of them actually are. The little guy in the tie is Kaneokawaiolaokeuhanenui….and the big guy is Kahakuloa..and that girl in the white who looks suspiciously a whole lot like me…she is Kealamailekahalaomapuana…just like her mother – Me. We all know the significance of our inoaor our names, and the significance is not only there for those who name children but more, for the children, themselves in that we indeed, the very all of us, live up to the energies contained within our names, specifically if it is a name that is passed down to us. 

My grandmother, my momʻs mom, was a very strong woman. She had to be. She had six kids and she and my grandfather raised them to be hard working people. I do not know all of their names, and I do not need to – I know mine, and I know that I named my kids appropriately because indeed…my daughter is just like me in that she takes no oneʻs crap. My oldest is indeed very intuitive and typically correct with all of his insights and the little guy? He is all about people feeling good, and the thing that sometimes makes him feel good is being in water….

And no I will not go on to give what my interpretation of their names are because they are only relevant to my own life, their lives and those whose lives are shared with us, and with each of them.

This leads me to my next thing…parents, please be careful when naming your children and be more careful when naming your grandkids because whatʻs in a name is everything. We live up to the things that we know about our names, and I am convinced beyond doubt that this is the very truth. I was named after someone who was strong and never gave up, who did not pick fights but you best not even try think to pick one with me…these are the things that my Tutu Wahine passed down to me. The very things that she was I Am, and there is no one who can state differently, no matter who wants to fight me on it. My grandma did not put up with peoplesʻ shit, and neither do I, and throughout the course of my life and with what time I did spend with her throughout that time I proved to live up to that name.

…and now, so, too, does my only daughter, Gracie, who also answers to Maile….

Whatʻs in a Name?


As children we have no idea that when we are named, it actually means something. In most lives, it means that the qualities of that name will be lived out through the person carrying the name.

As parents we have to be careful to NOT repeat to our kids that they are “just like” so and so, because sometimes, those whose names we carry might not be the best humans around and more, they also might not be the ones who we want our kids to reflect that sort of beingness – in other words, sometimes, we do not think about it when we name our kids, and by that much alone, they will live up to or down to the traits of the person after whom they are named.

I know this.

I live this, and there are not a lot of people who DO NOT see my strength, and right now that strength is being tested by the very world that I call “my own,” and by all rights and intentions there is more to all of this than we want to or care to believe. We have to stop ascribing to our kids the traits that we think are somehow making it so that our kids will behave just like Auntie So and So. Many people know this. But instead of bringing into the world the good traits, we tell others, in front of these little people, about the things that these certain others have been like and portrayed themselves as being and we make these little people behave like the ones who they are named after.

Our names are very important. I was very careful in helping my mother name my kids with me, very selective regarding which of their ancestors they would carry the name of, what habits and traits those ancestors had and to this day I watch, with vigilance, their actions, listen, with great interest, to their words, and of course, know within the very bones of the soul that they are not making their ancestors look bad.

Then there are those who are named after others for the sake of being nice to a sibling. I love my kid brother, but, my mother knew that I did not want my kids to be named with names that, in their entirety, would cause it that relatives would make it be that my kids would express those traits that I did not want them to, given that there are things that we each and all have in our memories of the ways of being that our ancestors held.

Behavior is one thing, but, for the sake of the name we ought to be careful in the reason why we will name them and who they will be named after. As a practitioner and kumu of the Divinatory arts, my own thoughts about these things is that we offer our children the energy of the past by naming them after our family members. Yet, in Hawaiian families, as we all know, it is far more than only carrying on the name – it is about who we are as Maoli people. Our names connect us to our past, to our ʻAumakua, to our ancestry and our culture. Ka Inoa – The Name – is integral in that as I have stated..we live up to, or down to, those names.

Our names connect us to the past, and we are connected to that past by the ties of blood, the ties of history, and most of all, the ties of Spirit. We are here for the purpose of fulfilling what destiny we are meant to, here to give to the world all of who we are while also maintaining who we are for ourselves. No one needs to be remembered for the ugly things that they did, for the ugly things that lived within them, and neither for the deeds that others would judge as being “not okay.” I live in a world where there are expectations placed on me, on my kids, and all of it denotes that when we are named, for those who gave the names, they expect that we will carry on the tradition of the ailments that typically are discovered far later on in our lives.

No one thinks about the idea that when we give our kids their names, already, someone in our family is comparing them to the past, to the person who initially carried that name, and in that moment, if we are wise we will do as most moms in my generation have done and will promote to our kids that it is okay to Be who they are for real, that just because this Auntie or that Unko told them about the person who they are named after was not that great of a human being, we are allowed, as their parents, to do as Hawaii Maoli have done for generations and ascribe new energy to those names, even though technically, the names are spelled the same, spoken the same, and by some, interpreted the same.

I cannot understand why it is that when we name our kids, given the importance of our names, why anyone would want to continue on with things like familial violence excused as hardcore discipline, why anyone would want to keep on trying to keep up with the new while dragging the …outdated….which only makes it seem like we are, as their mothers, open to the calamities caused in our lives by cycles of abuse, addiction and self-hatred. Just because this is what was normal in the past it does not mean that it still has to be the norm right now.

My oldest son and my youngest son – they witnessed their father be very abusive to me, to their sister and sometimes to them. They witnessed their father being horrifically abusive to their grandparents, and they witnessed everything else that I taught them is not okay for a boy to do, not okay for a man to behave like when he is old enough to know better, and not okay for a human being to be like. Because I KNOW the strength of their names, it was I who taught them, through the way that I interpret the names that my mother and I gave to them…I Am Who taught them, through my actions and ways of being, through my actual show of Aloha to the Planet, through everything and All Who I Am, the very importance of who they are in terms of their inoa.

We are who we create ourselves to Be, even with help from our Inoa

I was told, a long time ago, that I was my Tutu Ladyʻs namesake. Before I knew what the energy of the name was, already, there were people in my family who were choosing to use parts of my name, most of the time to tease me – it is how I learned that the shortened version of the name I have been called all my life – Mapu – which, we all know translates to primate. 

Over the years, it became apparent to me that a few of my relatives were having fun at my expense, believing that I did not know what the shortened version of the name that I have responded to my whole life Mapuana- meant. When I did find out, and after Iʻd gotten over the idea that people took great joy in teasing kids….because kids are helpless when they are little….rather than get all nuha about it, I chose to do like I KNOW my grandmother did and took advantage of the joke and started asking them since it was so funny to them, and if they had not thought about it, that they might want to consider what it was that they were stating to me in that apes of any sort are very strong, very powerful and if you piss them off – very very dangerous….

…so instead of continuing to get okole sore about it, I asked them, every time, “…oh yeah? You so smaht….you nevah think about it but – WHO IS GOING TO ARGUE WITH AN APE???”

And no, I never got the answer, because in the here and now, not a lot of people wanna argue with me.

Namely people who share DNA with me…because again….who the hell is gonna argue with an ape?

It proves one thing, for sure, and there are not a lot of people who I share a grandma and memories with, who will argue the point with anyone at all that if there is one thing that I live up to, it is that reputation of not taking anyoneʻs crap….and it is because why?

Because my first name is Roxanne. On that note, I am also named after my motherʻs cousin – my Auntie Roxanne who, even in all of her little tininess (I think she doesnʻt even stand but maybe 5ʻ2″…maybe) is a veritable storehouse of personal power. She would have to be. The last time Iʻd seen her she was a young woman, perhaps in high school or even college…and I was all of maybe 12 or 13….and that tiny little woman was not shy about showing her displeasure with things and people when they were not acting right or being pono about things….and yeah, that is totally the way that I Am, too.

And of course, it is not a secret that this too is something that I do – make my Auntie Roxanneʻs legacy of taking no oneʻs shit live on, and do so without bullying anyone in the process.

The way that this happened was that I was told, all my life, that she is a strong woman, that she takes no oneʻs crap and that as little as she is, she is a force to be reckoned with and for no other reason than that she is uku-supah-dupah brainiac kine smart, and yes, this is what I recall her as being, all that time ago….very smart, and taking no oneʻs shit for any reason, namely when it is that she was being picked on over her size.

In my world, it was because I was always a tall and skinny girl who was sort of awkward, who typically was not that interested in just getting away from people who reminded me, always, that I was not who THEY thought was (fill in the blank of super-duper cool thing here that I was always told that I was NOT) and that I would never ever be anything at all like my Auntie Roxanne….

…haha…yeah, I beg to differ.

And just like my being my Tutu Ladyʻs namesake and living up to her standard of grace and being a tough-as-nails lady, I also live up to Auntie Roxanneʻs “take no oneʻs shit” energy….

I Am living proof that when we name someone, it matters

Our Inoa is EVERYTHING – it tells our story when we cannot…





Un-Silence the Violence

Floating leis 9th island july 12 2018

No introduction, neither words are fitting for such a writing.

I just hope that you all understand the reason behind all of these words in that domestic abuse touches all of our lives, even those of us who #LiveALOHA everyday of our lives.

I have stated it, still state it, will always state it, that I may have been a victim at one time, have and like calling myself a survivor but at this point, because I am really very heart-sick from it all, I Am now the Conqueror, not of Domestic Violence, but, the fear that victims feel at all times.

No matter what.

Yes, even me at times, even now.

We all know the sacred nature of leis. We all know they convey a message. For someone like me – Kahuna – it can mean a whole lot of things. That I Am a woman of #Maoli origins who has lived her life on this side of the ocean, that I Am a woman whose mother raised her eldest child to be the very best example of what it means to Be Maoli, that I Am a woman who is a human being, that I Am a woman with children who watched me go through everything that I went through that I sometimes, in my thoughts, still go through in terms of the violence that I experienced for almost three decades is not a Maoli thing – it is a human female thing.

Last time I checked, most human females are human beings, and by that right alone, irregardless of what our Native status is all about….we are all human beings, and all human beings need not be abused.


I went through a whole lot. I like believing that the reason(s) that I experienced what I experienced is so that we – #AllUsGuys – would have one of those regular type folks rather than a celebrity telling the story that far too many of us #MaoliWahine have to tell. It saddens me, makes me sick to my stomach that I know the things that I know, not only about myself, but, about a whole, whole lot of our women. It is not that they are our particular women, but that they are human women, for the most part (and some men, too) who are being represented by the floating leis on the Pacific. I know that the stories behind the leis – the ones that we hear from the travel industry, mostly – are almost fairy tale-like, telling fabulous stories about the Magick of the Leis and how it is that when you toss one out onto the Pacific as you are leaving the shores of the ʻAina, that the lei that you toss is symbolic of your return to Hawaii.

For someone like me, though, it can mean a whole lot of things, and the more that I see these kinds of photos, the more that I am made sad by the idea that I know what they mean, and more and more of these very leis are being seen floating, not only on the waters of the Pacific ocean on the Hawaii side of the world, but, as well, here, too, on #TheRockin9th side, too.

Un-Silence the Violence…

Typically I will write this blog in words that mostly kamaʻaina (local Maoli people across the world) will understand, and it is my hope that these same people, all over the world, will also understand in that our women are dying quickly, not only from the things that we die from (heart disease, stroke, diabetes, high blood pressure) but, the things that are presented to us in relationships.

To be very black and white about things – we also die, very quickly and more and more everyday, from domestic violence.

When I was a kid growing up, it was funny to some people in my family, the idea that for every thing that a kid did that was not acceptable by the “adults” in the family, that kid would get leekenz. If you, the reader who might not be familiar with that word “leekenz,” it simply means that we would get physically punished, by being slapped, pinched, punched, or, being “disciplined” with a belt, a wooden spoon or, in some families (BECAUSE I ASKED) the old school style Komoboko menʻs leather slippahs (also known in certain portions of the world as being “flip flops” or “thongs”…please, keep reading…) were what were used to keep kids under control.

To control a kid was simple – all you had to do was find the nearest “wild auntie” and you would get that kid under control by means of fear.

I know this.

I was that kid.

I grew up to be one of those “Wild Aunties” BUT, in the Rockinʻ 9th style….metal horns up, no shoes on my feet, Metallica and Mark Kealiʻi Hoʻomalu played very, very loudly, even when cruising to #DowntownPTown, hair wild and crazy and flowing freely in the wind as though tangles do not exist….Wild Aunties no longer beat the hell out of kids to get their respect. We actually respect them, because at one time in our lives, we all had that one auntie. I am not willing, any longer, to “out” any of them who I am related with. I donʻt have to – each of us has an auntie or an uncle, or maybe our own parents were those people (mine were not). That much doesnʻt matter.

What does matter is how those things present themselves now, when we who are now adults have lived our lives remaining silent with others about the violence that we experienced, that some still experience, at home…where we are meant to feel safe. For a long, long time, I had no idea what it felt like to actually be safe, not just in my home, but in my own skin. At this time, in terms of “in my home,” I am looking forward to not being in this one that I am sitting and writing this from.

Too much has happened in this one, far too many times, and for the most part, far too many people have decided that on some level, because I refused to allow more disrespect, more disbelief, more tough love, more bullshit – because I refused to stand down, and because I refused to take part in the lies about me and who I Am and What I Am…because I choose to live by truth, integrity and of course, with my own Kuleana still very well in full tact….because of these things, I have been ostracized.


This time I Am not doing a thing different OTHER THAN making it known that in our lives, we have only so much time to do what we are here to do, which is make a difference for those who we share our lives with. This does not mean that we are to take out on those others all of the ills that we harbor about ourselves. It means that we are supposed to be living in the Light of Aloha. Yet when I read the DV stats for the ʻAina, and then I compare them to the ones from places here on the mainland where our Maoli people are numerous, suddenly the reality of Aloha changes to that of fear.

I fear for our future, because our women are dying violently. I used to contribute to UHʻs ʻOiwi Journal. The woman who created it has long since passed away, and she did not die from natural causes. She died at the hands of her abuser. You can look online for the story, because it was how I found out that this person who I was getting to know and who went by the name Mahealani Dudoit, was going through the very same things that I was. Perhaps that is why we hit it off so well. I only knew her through emails and phone calls, and only knew her to love writing as much as I did then and do now. I knew her as being intelligent and beautiful and someone who wanted to contribute to our Hawaiian culture.

I did not know until I was guided by the people who loved her, worked with her, knew her as their family at UH, to the newspaper article that told the world of her fate. The reason that they told me to look there was because they might have thought that I might not believe them, that there was no way that she would be gone from our lives by the hands of her husband…who, like the coward that he was, also took his own life.

I think back to that time now and I realize that she and I had a LOT in common, even the abusive marriage that I was so desperate to be freed from, and the one that even now I am having difficulties with because the court recognizes that we – my abuser and I – have the same set of rights. It is hard for me to think that he has rights when he violated so many of mine, so many of my kidsʻ, so many of my parentsʻ, so many of so many people. It is more hard for me to believe that in all of this madness and all the violence that I Am still on the mend from, that he is a free man.

And this is with criminal domestic violence orders to stay the hell away from me and wherever I live (which he violated four times within a weekʻs time….and was not arrested, is still not arrested….). Still…he is a free man, and I am bound by the fear that he is stalking me, has been stalking me, was likely told by someone close to me that he would be free to come to the house because I was not home….

This is what we are to believe is protection…pieces of paper which only protect us when the perpetrator is literally caught….in a warrant sweep…or during a routine traffic stop….or whenever it seems, at least to someone like me, the city for which the department is at decides that they need more money that week….

SO, I guess the reason that, once again, my readers all over the world are seeing these things written by me is that we have to do more for the women in our lives, and some men, too. We have to keep ourselves safe, meaning that we have to make a noise and we have to get the attention of those in office who make the laws and the changes to the laws.

What these laws do for us now is okay, but, there are still way too many of us who are throwing leis into the ocean for our sisters and some of our brothers whose lives have been shortened by the element of violence in #DV. Domestic violence is not just a woman getting slapped around, is not just a man being told to be a man about things, is not just a kid being disciplined in the corporal manner.

DV is not just a crime, but a mindset, and I Am the other side of that mindset. I Am the side that chose to no longer be called a victim, but more of a warrior, a survivor-conqueror, not of the physical calamities that befall us, but, of the things that we believe about our very selves once it is that we have escaped it. I physically have escaped it, but, he is still able to get here, to this house, and he has done so many times, I think, and he uses the excuse that he wants to see our son, which might  not be an excuse but it is not the whole reason.

The thing that I have learned in my research as a behavioral scientist is that the abuse that we experience is universal in that, women, even now in this day and age, are still not seen as equal parts of the whole. This must stop. It is not our fault that we are made the way that we are, and it is not someone elseʻs right to take advantage of the idea that we are merely the PHYSICALLY weaker sex, but by far NOT NOT NOT the emotionally neither intellectually weaker one, because on that level, we are all the same. That much does not matter as does the fact that abuse touches us all in some way or another.

It makes it so that the things that we are taught and told when we are tiny keiki are left up to our discernment of what they mean. Always, getting leekenz meant that I did something egregiously wrong, at least in my little kid head at the time. As I got older and saw my cousin get hit with a closed fist, and saw that the person who did this to him batted not one eye at it OR at the fact that ALL MY cousins who attended my dadʻs church at the time were there and present and some of them actually were horrified by that adultʻs actions.

Fast forward to all this time later, when it is that I have gone through what I have gone through, and to have these same cousins behave as though I ought to just be over those things – as if nothing happened after the fact that they also felt like I could just…get over it….

I would like to ask anyone at all who the hell they think they are when it comes to the way that other people get through things, and when it was that they, themselves, were so anointed by their man god to tell anyone like me that I must have liked it because I stayed (it couldnʻt be that I was in more danger apart from him, because he stalked me, still stalks me, and that it was easier for me to believe that I kept myself and my family safe from him if I stayed…nah…couldnʻt be that, right?) and that I stayed because I did not want to get a job ( wrong again…I was not allowed to have a job that he was not able to physically see me sitting at my desk, which he ended up having me be at HIS work and my “pay” was included in HIS paycheck…..we are talking at least 80 hours a week with this person…and then the rest of the torture at home….keep reading…) ….it could never be anything at all that I stated, at all times, that it was, because certain people NEED to make anyone elseʻs lives that much uglier, at least in their own minds, than is their very own life.

When your relatives tell you that you are being abused, it is not yours to make jokes about it, because you are GOING TO make them hurt more, and if you were brought up the way that I was, you are only going to make the rest of your relations talk stink to them and about them more than they are already going through it. I know this, because I recently went through it with someone who, to this day, I have to assume that they still feel like I owe them for helping me escape once….once….and I have had to hear about it from other people, about how I ought to STILL BE grateful to that person, all these years later, even though that very person did the ugliest thing that they could have and decided to chastise me on my social network….for being a mooch, for being someone who milks what happened to her for far too long, as though less than one year has passed since my only daughter Grace and I did the thing that no one else had the guavas to, which was get stay away orders, and even that was hard to get out of the court….

…because you know….my ex…he has rights and my safety being violated ….my safety doesnʻt have rights – only I have them….makes perfect sense, right?


It does not. At all.

If ever there were the time, the chance, the circumstances where, collectively, we want to use the colonial system to make things happen, it is now, for this purpose – to keep our Wahine, and some of our Kane, safe. We would want to do it to keep our Keiki safe, to keep our Tutu safe, to keep #AllUsGuys collectively safe from these batterings of the heart, soul, mind, body of the very all of us.

We want our culture to live on, but we have to remind ourselves that it is silence that has kept us in this measure, in this energy, and it is the Un-silence that will get it recognized that for every 3 leis we see floating, one of them is for a woman, and one out of 4, a man. 15 out of 100 crimes of violence reported in this country are domestic violence calls. 72 out of 100 of deaths due to domestic violence are murder-suicides.

94 out of 100 sexual assault victims are women….

So you folks …it is time now to protect ourselves, mostly from ourselves, or at least from the old ways of thinking and believing that silence is far better than letting the family look bad. Keeping up appearances is only for that family, because the rest of the world knows the lies being told to it are made lies by the bruises, the cut lips, the broken bones, the psychoses that seem to come from nowhere.

The next time you look at your sister, daughter, mother, grandma, best friend, niece….remember to also look at the statistics.

We need to stop the killing of innocents for the sake of silence, the sake of a family name that only wears the bruises the more that the lies are hidden….

#UnSilenceTheViolence #NeverBackDown #WildAuntiesRuleWithLoveNotFists

#NoMoreFloatingLeis #AuntieSaidNO #LosAngelesKahunaRox @RevRoxie22 

#IAmAFighter  #YouAreBeautiful  





Dear 9th Island Maolis – Be You


“…Be dufuqh who you is…” 

(Ms. Howarz, Inmate, Los Angeles County Womenʻs Central Jail)

What you read here might sound like I am telling people that it is not okay to talk this way, or to act this way, or to be a certain way, as long as most certainly that is who you are for real, all the way down to your Maoli Bones.

I spent about a week in the Los Angeles County Womens Central Jail here in Los Angeles, and let me tell you what, it was the last thing I needed, and emotionally, I am surprised that I made it out not more damaged than I know that I have been made to feel like I am.

You see, it does not take much these days to get oneʻs self into trouble, but, that is neither here nor there, and I prefer to not speak about it until it is time to, when I am to be seen by the judge. None the less, I have to write about this before I forget to write about this.

Mrs. Howarz

The last person with whom I was housed was this old southern black woman from Mississippi, the one to whom I will refer to, in this writing, and for the rest of my life, as Mrs. Howarz. I will not share with anyone what it was that she was or might well still be in there for. That is neither here nor there.

Clearly, she had seen some very hard times, and her charges were no joke. I am afraid to check and see what happened with her but know this much – she is true to her Soul, and true to her Spiritual Beliefs and most of all, she is true to herself. Whether it is that she is or is not deemed with the mental capacity to deal with whatever it is that she was sent to that place for, the bottom line is that this old Southern Baptist woman, the one who is descended from those who came to their freedom via the Underground Railroad, and the one who was humming Baptist Hymnals whislt praising her Jesus, her Lord, and the One to Whom she gave her gratitude, the one who serves her with her Mana….and man – Mrs. Howarzʻ Mana is beeg bambucha kine beeg!! 

When it came time for her to ask me what my nationality was, I was lightning quick with my response, because she was very perplexed as to why it was that someone who was educated and well spoken, gentile and “very lady-like” in her mannerisms…how the hell could this person – me – be in that horrific and sad place?

Just like I was taught by my Mom, that I needed to tell the truth, namely to the Tutu among us, I told this Tutu Wahine the Truth, and to it she told me that I ought to not ever do anything other than that – to Be Who I Am and be Who I was meant to be Here and in the Now.

I make it no secret that I am Proud Maoli, much as all of us are, but there are those among us who will always pretend to be one thing or another, but, for the most part, we are what we want the people in our lives and who are closest to us to believe we are, and we want them to accept us as that person. And most of the time, who we are in our private lives is who we are at the core of us. When we need to behave professionally, and in the most gentile and professional manner, we need to be truly who we are. I take this much very seriously – I Am Hawaii Maoli.

Yes, I come with mixed ancestry of both Luso and Asian heritage, but, for the most part, I Am Hawaiian.

My mother raised me to be whatever can be called a Proper Gracious Auntie. Forget the term “Gracious Lady,” because that means that there is no room in our lives for Wisdom, and that on the way to that status, we are not yet wise.

I Promise you – I Am A Proper Gracious Auntie, and I Am A Proper Gracious and WILD Auntie, and I make that, as well, no secret.

And fuckinʻ A…I Am Wise As Fuck…make no mistake.

No one rocks, rolls and rules the 9th like the Hawaiian Aunties of MY generation. We learned from our moms what it was that they wanted to Be, as Hawaiians. They did not let us down. I Am pretty positive that if there is one mother of my momʻs generation who is proud as fuck of her kid, even though she does not like the use of profanity….if there is one mom in my momʻs generation who is proud of the job that she has done in terms of raising a very Good Hawaiian….that would be my mother, and hell yes...about and of ME.

And yes I know this in the ʻiwi of my Maoli Soul….

I Am A Good Hawaiian.

I Am A Good Hawaiian and by right of that, I Am Also a Good Hawaiian Human Being, and one who raised, to this point in her life, three more Good Hawaiians, and those ones call me Mom.

There are four more good Hanai Hawaiians, and they know who they each are. None the less….

…when speaking in terms of my very damned self, My Mother raised me to be a Good Hawaiian, and in that raising me, she showed me what it was to be a Good Hawaiian Mom, and my kids are the proof of this.

So, too is my guy – Manhattan…itʻs an island…and anciently his people are from Ireland, and his motherʻs people are, too, a sea faring people – the Norwegians.

Indeed, I Love My Manhattan Island Boy, and he too well knows it.

My mom wanted me to be with an Island Boy.

She got what she wanted, and I got EXACTLY what I wanted….

However, there are some things that this old woman in that cell with me told me that applies and that I did not think about until I got home and the reason that I would ask her about what it made her feel like when other cultures and ethnicities choose to emulate any othersʻ, but specifically hers….

She said that it is wrong for people to not Be who they originally and anciently are. Not in those words, but, when she told me that she “hate it when folks make us people look bad, like we ignorant or something…” and I agree.

I told her that there are people who like to call themselves Hawaiians because they live there and own property there, but that is not what they mean, and we all know that that is not what they mean.

It is offensive that this is how some people, at least in my opinion, behave in that you do not have to behave like you are something other than what you and who you were born as. You are the skin that you are because you are supposed to learn that lesson. You chose whichever one you believe gets you where you need to be, but in doing so, you also must remember to not forget the morality that is yours by right of your culture. 

Ms. Howarz told me that she does not like it when other ethnic groups “act” “ghetto,” and she was very good at making certain that I KNEW, FOR REAL, that she and others like her do not appreciate it when others express their …ghetto asses…. like they do. “Folks needs to be proud of who dafuqh dey are, girlie….dey need to be that person and NOT some ghetto mothahfuckah….” and on she went with her thoughts about things and for your benefit, and because I now know what she was telling me, I can be here to tell you.

You folks…NO ACK!

There are enough reasons why it is that I tell people to be who they are. It is not a good thing to be something or to emulate someone from a culture that is not your own ethnic one and if you are going to do anything that is apart from the thing that you think is or would be your version of your unconscious colonial self, then you really need to think about who you are in the ethnic sense for real and know now that it takes a lot more than what you want to think it takes just to be who you are.

Who you are is not meant to emulate the worst people in anotherʻs culture, and let me tell you what, all of you – there is a culture socially that tells us that it is fine to be who you are not, so long as you pretend like you know what you are doing, at all times and in that energy. What this means, pretty much is that if this is who you are at all times, then this is who you are for real. The way that some of you behave is deplorable, even by right of what some lovely souls like this beautiful Ms. Howarz believes you to be, which is not HER ethnicityʻs thing, and neither is it yours.

It is someoneʻs, but it is anything but beautiful.

On behalf of Mrs. Howarz

I think it is time that people stopped acting like come from the hood if that is not where you come from. It is also time that if you are behaving as though somehow your shit doesnʻt stink that you might want to realize too, that you are not the catʻs okole that you think you are.

On behalf of Mrs. Howarz, it would be a nice thing if Hawaiians behaved like we are meant to, if we bothered to see that someone elseʻs ugly parts ought to not be bothered with, not be used without some sort of regard to the people who have the very right to behave as they do because the bottom fucking line is that you do not have the right to emulate that which you are not and if you do, you ought to have to deal with the things that come into the lives of people who emulate that which is the worst of anyone elseʻs culture.

And by the way, what the hell is wrong with being who you are? I am just curious. What is so wrong with being cool with people, with showing them that you come from a culture that is actually the epitome of Tribal, of that which is the drumbeat of the Cosmos and the Heartbeat of the Hawaii Maoli people? Why is it so hard for you to behave like warriors and not pretend to be fuckinʻ shot callers because it takes very little to be an actual baller but it takes a little bit of hardship that lotsa folks know nothing about and ainʻt for real until you spend some time in the LA county jail system, to be what is known as a shot caller…which, by the way I met one of those people – and no one I know is qualified, no matter how much they act like a thug….to be an actual thug.

You ainʻt a thug til they remove a slug….

On behalf of Mrs. Howarz, she wants everyone to love who they are, and she is tired of young women of color, no matter the color, even the colors of the Polynesian islands, all of them, to be who you are. You are not meant to be someone else, are not meant to be like the worst of anyoneʻs culture, but are here to be the righteousness that is Pono, that is the thing that we are here to be the example of, which is nothing more and nothing less than to #LiveALOHA.

We are #KaPoEOKaWai…we are the people of the water, and we are the people of Aloha, and Aloha is not tough love, and it is not bullying people into following your lead, and it is not making people feel ashamed for things that on the top of things, no one really knows anything about. It is not yours to take apart and judge, as much as it is not yours to make it seem like your way is better than anyone elseʻs, specifically when anyone elseʻs might not be, in the manner that you are presenting it to the world, the better part of that culture – if you are going to behave like you are not part of your own people, at least have the decency to be the best representative of whatever ethnic culture you are emulating. At least do them that favor and not act like a fuckinʻ ghettofied hood rat because that is NOT what you are and much to your fucking surprise….

…you can live in the ghetto, and live in the hood, but not be hood.

As much as you can live in the hills, behave like you are ghetto, and turn your suburb into a gangsterʻs paradise.

I prefer to make wherever it is that I Am, at any given time, the holy sacred ground that is the ʻAina, because as Mark Kealiʻi Hoʻomalu stated in American Aloha… “Wherever I Am, Hawaii is there, too…”



#LosAngelesKahunaRox #TheCrabAndTheFish #HoOManaWellnessSoCal #SpreadAloha #GraceCottellMUA



The Thing About Island People…


No matter what…

Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai….The People of The Water….I say a whole lot about us, and the one thing that I say the very most is that we are, the very all of us, ohana – we are family, no matter what.

This photo was taken by a lady named Patty. The people in this photo are some of the people who I spend a lot of time with at school.

While it remains that we are not tied together by much else than a common knowledge about who we are as those people who hail from other places, be it anciently or even right now, where we only know each otherʻs names, the thing that is constant, the thing that is …forever…is family.

These people are my family. They know a whole lot about me.

To them I am not just a fellow schoolmate.

To them, I Am Auntie Rox, and indeed, we are a huge family. These are other mothersʻ children, from all over the world, who hail from other places in the water, other places which have been described as being …Pacific

No matter who says what, me and these beautiful people in this photo with me…we are ohana.

I completely love these people….every single one of them.

And every single one of them knows it. There are more of them, and all of them also know, very dearly well that Auntie loves you – all of you, and mahalo for all that you have done for me, for our shared cultures, for every moment under the sun with you all, not only as people who attend the same school, but, for people who have been taught, who have learned very well who they are in terms of where it is that we each and all anciently came from.

We are family. These beautiful children who I spend so much time with, almost as much as I spend with my own children….which is a whole lot of time, a whole lot of Living Aloha

Lately, and speaking of …blood relations….it has been a very harrowing time and one that I cannot and have not yet completely….come back from yet…at least not in the manner that I want to, and not in the manner that is complete and not in the manner that would call me anything other than …completely feeling like I had no family.

Yet, here they are, and I could not have asked for more, for better, for anything else in this world than to be a part of this…tradition…of art, of music, of dance, of things that in order to understand it, you have to be part of it. There are a lot of people who, in my life, are “part of it,” this …energy called “My Family.”

At this time in our collective awareness, a whole lot of stuff is happening. The volcanoes are exploding, and the world is moving under our feet and everything appears to be going crazy and almost as though there is nothing that we can do to save ourselves from ourselves.

That is when it is time to recall who you are. In the world of ʻUhane …the world of spirit…there is no such thing as being someoneʻs blood. We are connected by the soul, by the things that we hold in common with one another, and rarely are we concerned with who we are not – only that when we are together, we are a family.

To the beautiful people who I share more than just that thing called being a student at #MtSac, who I have a lot of laughs with, have cried with, have been compelled to go to the mat for in terms of things happening in your lives that breaks your hearts and makes you believe that you are not as awesomely cool as at least this wild auntie knows you each and all are…

…please be who you are, always.

Never forget that the energy of ohana goes far beyond those people who you share so much with, so many important things with, and who you share blood relations with. And for real, forever, never forget that there are people on this planet who are there for you, always, who love you endlessly and whose lives are not the same without you in it.

Mine…Auntie Roxʻs life would not be what it is right now without you guys in it, loud, proud, screaminʻ and jamminʻ here on #TheRockin9th island we call Southern California, specifically Los Angeles, particularly the #SGV – there is no place else on earth like the places that we each and all anciently come from, but, too, there is also not another place on earth where, for some reason, even as we know nothing about one anotherʻs blood relations, and even as we might not even share the same likes or dislikes outside of the thing that we hold in common, what it is that we hold in common is a bond that is unbreakable and one that was created long ago, in the caldera, in the soil, in the air, in the sunshine, in the rain that falls everyday, in the waters that people want to believe divides us, when really, it is what binds us together.

We are Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai – The People of The Water. We are the representatives of the Aloha Soul, of a greeting that sounds foreign but is used as though the only thing that matters to anyone who does not know whatʻs up with us is that there was this guy named Gilligan who everyone decided a long time ago was right, when really, all that did was damage us, all of us, in ways that we do not know and donʻt need to know.

We have been told who we are for generations, and in the times that we were placed in the spotlight and in the times that we felt like there was nothing more to give to this world than yet one more reason as to why it is that someone else has lumped us all together with the rest of the people who they learned about from a television show that was way off back in the days of the Bradys and Samantha Stevens and everything else “television savages.”

Yet we knew better, still know better, because we are not who we are told we are. We are not those grunting idiots on surfboards, and we are not those living renditions of the dashboard hula girl, the Samoan young man whose only mission in this lifetime is to run plays for a guy who he barely knows (unless he is lucky and his coach is like ours – ISLAND), the Phillipino kids who are shy and say very little to you if they do not know you, the evil Chinese greed monger, the Korean whose only thing in life is to work themselves to death, all in the name of it being a cultural pride thing….we knew better.

We knew and know better than to believe those things, and we knew and know better than to think that there is nothing more on this planet for us than to be lesser than anyone else – we know better, because that is not the way that we are taught. In all of the ugly things that we, as those people of the water, knows in regards to the things that we are taught, that we are told are part of being Island, of being Ka Poʻe o Ka Wai…that no matter what, somewhere on this planet are those people who we share everything with but deoxyribonucleic acid and who we know more about than those people who we grew up with who are our cousins, our siblings, our aunties and uncles…sadly, sometimes even our parents…we know that somewhere on this planet is our family, that we are not all alone and that most of all, we know who we are within that group, within that energy, and within this world…Auntie Rox loves you guys, all of you….

…even the pain in the okole ones….you buggahs, too

…and to those two young ladies who I call “the Killer Bee” and simply “Abbie”….yes, of course I will teach you, share with you, give to you the thing that is my knowledge of who we are, wrapped up in an uwehe, an ʻami, and hell yes a smile…I so cannot wait….

Indeed…Auntie Rox Loves You All….

#LiveALOHA #AlohaMaiE #Talofa #MaloELelei #MagandangAraw #AriseMtSac #MtSac #LosAngelesKahunaRox #TheRockin9th #KaPoeOKaWai #ThePeopleOfTheWater #Hawaii #Samoa #Tonga #Tahiti #Philippines #China #Japan #Indonesia #MaoliPride #SGV #Pomona #WalnutCA #LosAngeles #SouthernCalifornia #H_Two_O

You People

Troys Screenshot

The Hawaiian Way

“…When I think of the Hawaiians and their culture, think of a bunch of whiny professional victims, hell bent on forcing everyone to accept their culture…”

To those of you who feel like this, I have some thoughts for you…and really, you folks -it is not that hard to think.

I said it, so deal with it – we are educated, a whole LOT of us, and we, the each of #AllUsGuys here on #TheRockin9th chose to educate ourselves in the institutions of higher ed that “you people” did not think we would bother to try for ourselves.

Of course, there is the blight over there, and “you people” do not realize that it was due to an energy of superiority that you brought to Our Ancestors, and that your ancestors passed down to “you people,” all these beliefs and ideals that you believed would last forever, including the idea that we would hate ourselves forever and continue to allow you to get away with this sort of thinking.

You did not think that some of us would be eloquent in the language that is not our native language 

…not OUR native language, but that of “you people” – the colonists.

This is the thing that you guys are all mad at – that we decided that we would go to great lengths to do we have to do to make you understand a few things, including, in many ways, beating many of “you people,” specifically the ones like this guy in this post on social media, at the game that your ancestors set up for “you people.”

There are a whole lot of “you people” who tend to think of a whole lot of us, even in our own homeland, as somehow impeding on what you thought would be like a vacation forever in paradise, where the locals are just like you see in the old movies, where what you see there and in those movies is what you get.

Or, perhaps you thought that maybe many of My People would think that it was cool to believe that somehow we would be cool with “You People” living in OUR ʻAINA, if “you people” decided that you would still get away with this sort of thinking and have it NOT be a “thing” for #AllUsGuys

You wanted paradise.

I get it.

I live in Southern California.

People who move here from other places get all shitty with us who are natives of this ʻaina when rain falls. They show up ready for earthquakes and end up finding out that we also have a lot of wildfires, floods in certain areas, and hell yeah -we have crime, and shitty people, and they also find out that we are not all …well….we are not at all the way that  “you people” have even made it seem as though everyone here on this side of the water somehow go to the tanning booth all the time, that we are all jogging, wheat-germ devouring, yoga-doing, protest-attending pro-choicers….you actually get mad at us….same thing in Hawaii.

Lots and lots of “you people” decide that you are going to go over there and make a life for yourself, and while it is that you are told what you are told, you might have gone over there a few times when you were a kid and we were all thought to be kissing the asses of “you people” just because that is what you were told we were like.

You visited a few times, thinking that you would be able to live there, and at no matter what time in history you went there, long ago and even MORE SO now – if you are not used to the reverse racism that perhaps you might all have believed you were somehow immune to…in my native language… e komo mai….welcome to that thing called Karma (haha….I AM from SoCal….hahahaha keep reading)

It sucks, doesnʻt it?

….the truth is…

“You people” who feel like this ought to just go back to wherever it was that YOUR people are, because you seem to think that MY people are somehow WRONG for not wanting your there in OUR homeland.

You cannot handle the truth.

The truth is that really, you were not aware at all that MY people do not TRUST “you people” because “you people” are the reason for every horrid thing that happens over there, and pretty much everywhere, as well.

Just because “you people” want to believe that you are somehow touched by the gods and somehow by right of your mainland birth certificate, somehow, you do not have to at least have some sort of quiet respect for what it is that you are seeing there, what you are being treated like there – I cannot apologize for the people who you have personally encountered, but if those are the only people that you are encountering, where in the hell are you hanging out, brah?

I mean really?

For real – your words and your name sound real, real…colonial…and for that alone you ought to be glad that you are mouthing off online as you are, that no one can check where you live because, you know…Tyler is such a Maoli name….

You canʻt blame a lot of Maoli people for feeling how they do.

It is not like they donʻt have a reason to.

I mean – even here, in the land of the botoxed drag queens and women named “Dick” – even on this side of the water, “you people” seem to think it is somehow okay to talk shit to people like me, speaking someone elseʻs mother language as if my very….Polynesian features, which are unmistakably there, even as my Asiatic eyes make some people ask me where I Am from….that is, unless it is one of “you people,” who ask me if I speak English or Spanish.

Some people ask and donʻt assume…

…and at least they ask and donʻt assume and guess what…it is NEVER one of “you people” who grant the respect, neither the courtesy, of not assuming that I Am anything OTHER than Hawaiian Maoli, just on this side of the water.

You cannot believe the things that you are going through over there, and guess what else?

You canʻt change the way that those people there, who I might not share habits with but I share a similar collective history with ….you cannot make them feel another way about some of “you people” because the simple fact is that you are not truly in another “state” but have actually happened upon an entirely different culture and way of life, and one that is very highly spiritual and more than that, in the world of Spirit, we are LOTS stronger than any one of “you people” and the gods who you sent to exterminate who we still are, from what you want to believe is ONLY the soil upon which your colonial ancestors decided was theirs, all because they could fool naked people in the middle of the sea who had never really encountered any one of “you people” prior to that.

And after that, it became commonplace that not too many of My People wanted to encounter any more of “you people” because it was not until then that My People were introduced to violence of the colonial sort that was one-sided and ruled by a whole lot of “you people” who, throughout history, decided that “you people” somehow had and always have the right idea.

And still, you tried, and you keep trying to change who we are by being …well…frankly…little bitches who would get rolled up on if you were to talk all that shit to someone in my neighborhood on this side of the Pacific Ocean.

And by the way, as Kahuna Wahine – I happen to believe that the reason that Tutu Pele is blowing her stack right now is totally because “you people” came over and dirtied our homeland, and even our people, so that “you people” could call our homeland your real estate, your land, your property…this is the karma that “you people” created for yourselves – the idea that you now are the disdained people, in a land that was not, and will not ever truly belong to any ONE of “you people,” no matter what the deed says, no matter what your lawyers say…no matter the fuck what.

Still, you try to change us…all of us…with your cellular hatreds towards that which is not like “you people”

Let me tell you what, guys – you canʻt. At least not in the way that you think you ought to be able to, with your thoughts that tell you that somehow, because you know your rights, you have the right to disrespectfully speak your mind and hope to your demonic colonial gods who tell you that it is okay for folks like “you people” to hate on folks like my people, and also to have the very ʻolos to talk stink like this in a very public way, likely in hopes to make your hatred go viral….you think that this is what makes you moʻbettah than #AllUsGuys – bruddah…IT DOES NOT. 

I am certain that this is what you were taught, that “you people” are superior to ours, no matter what, because you have that very old document that can be a double-edged sword for us all.

Yet, “you people” just donʻt get it – you are strangers there.

While I Am a very proud Hawaii Maoli, even I Am a stranger there.

I was born and raised here, thankfully by Hawaiian born and raised parents, who were brought over here by their Hawaiian born and raised folks, all so that we could avoid having to deal with the things that, because of “you people” we are now stuck with that puʻolo of ideals that were never our own. 

You disdain our multi-cultural culture, and when you happen upon us here on #TheRockin9th, you behave as though we are some sort of novelty, some sort of living dashboard hula icon staring off into the distance with our silly little (wrong) grass skirt (morons…those are TI LEAF SKIRTS…no be jealous, yeah?…you wish your sorry asses could look as outwardly lovely as some of even our cross-dressers and transgendered folks do…no hate, bruddahs….get over yourselves already – your ancestors came to OUR shores wearing the fashion of the times when men of power wore makeup, high heels, wigs and frilly blousons….go ahead and talk more shit…about anything…go…), the vacant stare and the token ʻukulele…puh-LEEZE, “you people” – geeve us one BREAK awʻready, yeah?

When you gonʻ learn?

When “you people” gonna try think before you get all waha in da moutʻ and get stupid online, believing that no one is going to remembah yoʻ name? Do you realize, all “you people,” that you post these things in public forums with the belief in your delusional thoughts that you are somehow safe in the realm of cyberspace?

Okay – so you might be right.

You might well be safe here, but, what is not safe is your ignorance, and your show of it.

What is not safe is the idea that “you people” and your way of thinking is somehow not outdated.

I think I really love it when “you people” talk stink about another demographic (LGBT, Women, Minorities, The Empoverished…I could go on and on…) and then get caught not only doing those horrific things in private but then choosing to make up excuses as to why it is that “you people” are somehow the ones who have it right and because “you people” want to believe this, you impose those wrong ways of thinking on My People, on anyoneʻs people, as long as it is not placed on “you people.” 

And I think I really love the part where you talked shit about abusers, as if by right of being one of “you people,” yours are not the people who totally made it a “thing” to keep your women quiet….as if somehow, “you people” are sanctioned by your demonic gods of attrition and of the disgust caused by things that “you people” cannot judge, because the reality is that you are intimidated, like so many men who are part of “you people” tend to believe that it is okay, by right of whatevhahs. 


You mean to tell me that the fat moron, who thinks as lots and lots of “you people” do, and who was as entitled to what he was not entitled to, simply because he was one of “you people” who seem to think that somehow, because you have the money to pay for whatever it is that you want in your life, that you can buy the thoughts and the history and the culture of a Divine People – the Polynesians – and get away with being this disrespectful…even in their homeland?

You act like these words are somehow blessed by your gods of hate, and your gods of greed, and your gods of hiding the things that you shame others for, all because your sorry asses got caught. 

And bruddah…I give not even one of those little itty bitty teeny tiny pebble shits about how “you people” take my words – We Are Braver, as all indigenous peoples are, than “you people” have even dared to think is the truth, let alone as accept as the very truth that “you people” tend to change to suit yourselves. 

Hawaii Nei ainʻt Burger King –  you canʻt handle that you cannot have it your way and “you people,” even as you seem to believe that you have right and privilege no matter where it is that “you people” go, and this includes in places where YOUR FUCKING ANCESTORS chose to disdain MANY MANY other …cultures….enslaving them, making them know what is the very ugly energy of self-hatred, and it was, by right of my observation and also due a long, tumultuous time on this planet as one of #AllUsGuys, for 48 years now, not being one of “you people,” neither thinking like any one of you, even though that is what was expected of All Us Guys who chose to educate ourselves.

“You people” just do NOT get it. 

We do not give in, because as those young men at rehearsal let us all know last night…like school is our houseso, too, are those islands. 

We must protect our ʻAina, our Culture,  and what they stand for, not only for the Hawaii Maoli people, but ALL MAOLI PEOPLES FROM ALL OF POLYNESIA who call Hawaii home…because Hawaii is a microcosm of the things that are the reality of life here on the mainland. But at least over here, we are taught to NOT see what the color of the vitriol is that “you people” state MY PEOPLE show to yours. 

What is the truth is that you are outnumbered, and that is why “you people” tend to pitch such a phenomenal bitch about things that you are now being shown was done to all peoples who were not of and are still not of the colonial mindset, even as we are educated in your schools, from sea to shining sea….”you people” are worried that My People are actually as smart as you have always known us to be, and it worries you.

It worries you that we might be a force to be reckoned with. 


Itʻs about time, dammit.

“You people” make it very evident to people like my people the reality of your own thoughts about your own selves, and that is that you have chosen to impart upon the indigenous peoples of the planet your feelings about how it is that indeed, we are very much a dear force to be reckoned with. I suppose no one told any one of “you people” that eventually, we would, through the generations, no longer choose to believe what your ancestors chose for us, that we, Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai – The People of The Water, refused then and refuse now, in the name of ourselves, in the name of our blessed Polynesian culture, our ways of Aloha, from this ʻaina, on this side of the ocean, the reverberations of our Aloha for #AllUsGuys, which shakes the hateful to their very sordid core. This is who we are, and it bothers “you people.”

And no…not at all am I writing about white people – I Am writing about those sorts of people who think that it is okay to dirty the Sacred nature of someone elseʻs homelands, and who think that we just need to get over ourselves.

I Promise…all of “you people” – no matter the color of your skin, no matter the depth of your self-hatred that comes out as hatred for people who live within the confines of the Aloha Spirit (itʻs still a law there, dumb ass) . There are many of “you people” who live there and still have no idea that you are in the Land of Aloha….do “you people” not realize yet that this is not ever going to different?

According to Tyler….the only answer is no….

The Hawaiian Way….sad, yeah? Lots of “you people” live in the Land of Aloha and still have the mindset of “you people” against anyone who does not think like you do.

You brought this on yourselves.

Either learn to #LiveALOHA, or pack your asses up and live somewhere else….

#FuckTyler #TheAlohaSpiritLaw #JustRox #LosAngelesKahunaRox #TheCrabAndTheFish #HoOManaWellnessSoCal #PuckingIrishGuysRockShop #TheRockin9th  #KeepHawaiiNative #HoOManaWellnessdoTerra






“Most of the values we acquire as children stay with us throughout our lives”

(Dr. George Huʻeu Sanford Kanahale – Ku Kanaka)

That I was born and raised on #TheRockin9th makes no difference in the idea that when a Hawaiian parent…when ANY island-values raised person, from ANY island, is raised with the values as set forth by the Ancients, those values, as I have proven, remain with us for the rest of our lives, or at least until we have a new set of priorities that we place a higher value upon.

I did not need to read Professor Kanaheleʻs Ku Kanaka to know this.

I was raised to be a very good Hawaiian person, and people tell me always, that even though I have been experiencing what I can only think to be the very opposite of Aloha lately, by, no less, people who were raised to also be good Hawaiians, and who are, in my opinion, not being what I KNOW they were raised to be.

Yet, that is neither here nor there -the reason that I KNOW I AM A VERY GOOD HAWAIIAN is because, first of all – that is the way that my mother raised me (and my brother) and the way that she also helped me raise my own three kids to this point, and me and my three have extended this measure of Aloha to include my partner, David, my hanai son, Christian, and my daughterʻs boyfriend, the young man who I have always referred to as being my son-in-law, a young and indeed very talented musician named Tommy, and a young woman who I refer to as “Lena” who is my oldest son Jeremyʻs girlfriend.


Chritian, Tommy, Lena, and my David are not “blood Hawaiians,” and really, they donʻt need to be.

They know what I mean when I state that some haoles are better Hawaiians than a lot of Hawaiians.


I said it.

Deal with it – it is the very truth.

These people have been shown for real kine Aloha. It is not something that we are meant to keep to ourselves, and is not something that anyoneʻs Aumakua set out to keep within certain circles. Aloha is meant to be shared, with everyone, even those who are considered as being the people who Christ called “The Least of Us.” And really, when you look around you, there is evidence all around that people forgot about the least of us.

I Am a Life Coach here in my neck of the ʻhood – Pomona, CA, and it is through my practice as such that I see the two sides of the human condition – essentially, the darkness and the Light within the Soul. For the most part, we humans have become adept at the show of Aloha to those who are not at the same level as we are in some way. The issue is not that we show this to strangers, but, when it comes to those who we know very well, there is this…hierarchy…that exists yet in a whole lot of Hawaiian families.

This has to stop…this…placing higher value on one person because they are the first born this or that, or more worse, placing people who are the last born in esteem that they are not old enough to have earned yet, even though since they might have been handed, via court order or just because someone gave it to them – a false sense of power. When the question regarding power of attorney was brought up in conversation with my mother a few years ago, I can only state for myself the truth that I DID NOT want it. I do NOT care one bit about the traditional crap of the firstborn kid in any family being given the most responsibility. It is bad enough, as is, that we have to wear that shit, and worse when we are expected to do things just by that reason alone.

I Am not sorry at all that I was not handed this responsibility. I do not need one more of those. I Am the Mother of three lovely Hawaiian souls, and indeed – to many, MANY MORE YOUNG ISLAND SOULS, I Am Auntie Rox. 

To a group of Healers and Shamanic types, I Am Their Sister. To one man I Am the Partner who would not ever, and has not given up on herself, thus telling him that I will also not give up on him. To another man, I Am “Sis,” and yet a few others, “Cuzz.”

…and the lovely thing about these people is no matter who it is that I Am to them each, I Am simply #JustRox. 

To lots of people, I Am just Me. More than that, in terms of that whole…power of attorney thing…well, we shall say that since it is that I Am very aware of myself, and because of this, it was, I suppose, as one of those “responsible firstborn” things and duties….it was my way of telling my parents that I Am Aware of My Own life enough to know that I Have UKUPLENTY KINE KULEANA. I suppose that there were people who were not thinking that I might NOT go off like I am certain was expected, specifically that if I had seen it in writing who held that responsibility.

We shall say that over that one thing I Am losing no sleep (I Promise). It is my belief that this familial hierarchy crap is just that – CRAP, and when it is that oneʻs responses, rather than the expected reaction, are not the thing anyone was prepared for…haha – yeah, it can cause a whole LOT of confusion and more than that, it does bring out the haters – albeit silently – in certain people.

Hence, the reason why it is that I Am a Believer in the fact that when kids are equally held responsible for knowing something that is an expected thing for them to know, it is up to us as their parents to teach them these things – and mostly, to be brave enough to tell us when they do not want to do something.

Unfortunately, we are taught, the majority of us, to value things, and value the opinions about who we are that are offered to us by others, no matter who they are. The sad part about that is that we are not really ever, or at least my generation wasnʻt taught that we have a choice, and having a choice means that we have a voice. Lots of people want to silence kids, and they do so through those kidsʻ parents. It happened to me. And really, the thing that I Am holding in the highest esteem is what my mother taught me and more than much else – showed me….is that I Am a Valuable, Worthy Human Who She Loves and Trusts and that is the only thing that I Am Believing.

I Am A mother…we do not give up on our kids as fast as some others have. I Am a Hawaiian Mother, and my kids know my Hawaiian Mother very well – they call her Grandma, and that bond is unshakable, specifically with that woman who I refer to as “Mom.” I Am Her First Born Child, and that is not something that can or will  be just snatched from me. It cannot be, even though it would be thought of that since I am rarely seen by my blood, that somehow, I care less than they do.

This is all coming to me from different places, and all it is really doing is confirming for me what I already know about me that other people who I share a grandmother with likes to tell people….and I Am Okay about it all.

I Am My Momʻs First Born Kid and I Am the First Born Daughter of The First Born Daughter, and yeah…I also Am the Mom of my motherʻs First Born Daughter Grand-daughter….and all of these things mean a lot in the Spiritual sense, but, in the real and outer world sense it is plain old birth order. And placing responsibility for anything, and this includes the assumptions that we, as these people in the hierarchy of ridiculousness, will gladly take on these…Karmic things….and pass them on and on and on as if there was not that thing in our collective energy called Original Thought.

It is …abusive…this way of doing things…by birth order.

That I Am Kanaka Maoli means that I Am one of those people who knows how very truly abusive this practice is, because this sort of thing is very prevalent in our culture. I Am all for traditions, as long as they are not dividing people over stupid things.

Birth order and its use as a measuring tool in our culture and in many others, for many things that are assumed about people rather than what is actually known – this is the thing that is making life as an Ancient Soul in these modern times harder to impress upon people that birth order doesnʻt matter, that it is not really something that a whole lot of us are just sort of ditching, and that if you have to divide like this then you just found out why we are still…rebelling…for lack of a better word.

While I can appreciate history, familial lineage and all that other good stuff, I cannot appreciate abuse, and I cannot appreciate that people who we share the air with are preaching solidarity, but their actions and the things that you hear about yourself after the fact do not match.

To place this kind of havoc into the middle of families is old.

We are equal, #AllUsGuys.

We are no longer in the energy where sometimes, while the firstborn kid is assumed to be able to deal with things that we are assumed to be able to deal with, it rarely is thought about that sometimes, like I have proven, those outer Kuleanas as set forth by the generations of the past are not as important as are the ones on the inside – the ones which require our highest and purest level of Aloha, of thought, and especially, of Integrity.

Just because someone is born first it does not automatically mean that they are going to be responsible enough to take care of the life affairs of anyone else. And power of attorney is NOT the only thing that I Am saying here – I Am saying that we are all born with the same things happening for us at birth – tabula rasaa blank slate of thought (“clean slate”). We think we have the right to jack up our kids by carrying on abusive traditions and having the nerve to say that it is expected of us to carry on a tradition when in reality it is carrying on and allowing the energy of abuse.

Remember that we who were born first are sort of the test child…it is not fair to assume that we want that Kuleana, or lots of others that we are forced to take (I think the worst one is when the oldest daughters are made to become the “little mother” to the rest of her siblings – no one is going to tell me that that did not happen when my momʻs youngest kid was born…I Lived what you are reading, so please keep reading) just because we are the first ones born. There are things that I would not assume that Jeremy would want to have has his responsibility, as much as I KNOW that there are other things that Gracie would not want to do – my response to this whole passing down of the traditions that suck thing was to allow my kids their thoughts and not judge my keiki for having the ability to think on their own.

It is not our right to make these people who depend on us take on things that we, ourselves, might not have wanted as our responsibility.

This is not something that I am not aware of, this whole…I Am the Firstborn Daughter of a Firstborn daughter, and hell yeah, I also have a first and only born daughter named Grace. When you see that much from the point of view that is mine as Kahuna, you see the spiritual dynamic of The #TripleGoddess…My Mother as Crone, myself as Mother, and my daughter as Maiden. You see that somehow, in all of what my mom taught me – I Learned, from her, very well, to be a very, very good Hawaiian.

It was My Kuleana to carry on, with my motherʻs guidance, even as she is still not home and even as I still have not been able to get to her for reasons that are completely stupid….and so, I carried on the good things, and now daily shedding the things that are not of good value in the life that I share with the kids who call me Mom, and the ones who call me Auntie Rox.

All these beautiful souls are all worthy, hold the same potential for greatness that, no matter in what order a human soul was brought into this awareness in a body through, we all have. Our greatest feat is to carry on the good while allowing the bad to just no longer be. That whole…firstborn thing, in MY specific case takes on a whole new energy when we see the thing that I DID choose to take on, which was, by my own thinking, a VERY IMPORTANT THING and remains to be a very important thing.

That Very Important Thing, as I have repeated and will continue to repeat, was to raise Very Good Hawaiians, and the sort who know what it means to have values.

I was raised to be a very good Hawaiian, and in turn, even though my kids and I went through hell for a long, long time, we remained there for one another, are still there for one another, and we know this about one another. We will always be there for each other. There are times that I know that I was on my own, even though their father was around – that guy just served to be the very example of this dynamic of this firstborn crap in the outer world and the importance that society and our culture places on age, as though it is somehow the marker for wisdom.

It isnʻt.

Eh….we all know one person is who older than we are and who is way way too lolo for that person to be in charge of anything. We also know that there are people like me – not lolo but also, akamai enough to know that there are things that I just am not interested in doing or holding responsibility for, and if I have to say it this way it was my “first official firstborn” thing to give that title to one of my other blood relatives.

I did not…and you are reading it, meaning that it is IN WRITING….EVER want to hold the title of holding power of attorney for my parents. I Am A Parent. That is plenty of responsibility on its own.

The Wisdom, in terms of this …power of attorney…that people, I Am certain, want to or might believe I Am up in arms about ….youʻre all wrong if this is what you want to believe. And to anyone who wants to believe this…I already know that you have your minds made up about this, and that anything that I could possibly state right now is irrelevant, as though I did not have that much of a clue about things that I might end up angry as hell over …all of this….garbage.

Haha…I really Am fine with it…because yeah – I chose it this way, years ago. This is what is meant by the FACT that as a firstborn I have somewhat of a clue as to how much drama I can deal with and more, if any of it is worth it and guess what?

It ainʻt.

My mom raised me to be a Very Good Hawaiian.

I have done the very same thing.

I have the photos to prove it.

The thing that a whole lot of us do not realize is that for a long long time, collectively, we have valued things and have allowed them, for the most part, to become the thing that makes us worthy in the eyes of others. We have valued what we have been shown, by the westernized world, that the more you have, the more worthy you are, and the more that you are worthy in the eyes of others, based on the things that you own, or how much pull you have in your community, or …well, things outside oneʻs own self, including the false accolades had with the energy that is one-upping someone else in the eyes of what can be called a group, but certainly NOT family and from my vantage point and the thing that I am going through right is completely the opposite of Aloha, completely the opposite of ohana.

Hoʻonānā – Pay attention, you folks…

In my world, science is the thing that makes me silly with delight (ok….so to that you can add my other half and my three kids and all those kids who call me Auntie and every person who refers to me as their sister….I Love You Guys). I research the human condition and our behaviors. When I add to my findings the things that I was taught and how my mother raised me (versus how she did NOT), what I also find there is that while a whole LOT of people like to believe that they are being the best Hawaiians that they can be, on the other side of that is where they are failing miserably. I wish I knew what makes anyone think that bullying anyone else, specifically to get oneʻs own way or more…my favorite – to get a hoped for reaction, or, to teach anyone else some sort of sick, sordid lesson that somehow, in the minds of those who believe they are “teaching” these lessons –  the thing that they are absent of is this energy called Aloha….what makes anyone think that being less than loving can be called that energy…that beautiful healing energy called Aloha?

It cannot be that way, because light and dark can exist side by side, but at one time and in the same space, it cannot be. The two exist NEXT to each other, not as a combination. Scientifically it cannot and will not happen.

Same thing with what is Love and what is this bullshit that lots of us DO NOT REALLY KNOW what it is if you call it “tough” love.

Canʻt be in the same place, guys…at all – toughness is toughness, and Love, when it is real, is gentle, kind and accommodating. It is anything but “tough” and cannot be “tough,” no matter what it is that your tutus, your tutu aunties and unkos, that ANY DAMNED PERSON WHO IS NOT BETTER THAN YOU ARE for ANY reason – we are all damned special…even the “tough love” believers.

Do You Value Aloha, and if so, Why?

Aloha, you folks, is one of our core values, so much so that it is still an actual law in Hawaii. The showing of it, to all others, even from a distance, is what makes us Polynesian.

This includes those Polys who hail from Samoa – Western and American, and includes our Tongan ohana, our Maoris, our Tahitians, the very damned #AllUsGuys.

We do not, even at this late stage in our collective lives, where things are upside-down, all looking like your pupule Auntie went go try cut da ti leaves again and ʻauwe! Da garden stay nekked now….we do not know what it is like to not one up each other, and when this happens and families who have employed this method to “teach” anyone anything….we are shown what is so so NOT Aloha.

To value anything means that we place priority on it, and we like to tell people that “Aloha is ours” and it is, but, what, exactly is it that you think is Aloha versus what really is Aloha? Do you truly value your culture enough to look past the self-hatreds that were never really ours and are you able to cut yourself loose and suffer the arrows of separation, not from your blood, and neither from your chosen ohana, hanai or not, but of the false beliefs that you have not realized that you may never have believed in the first place?

Are you able to let go of the things that your Kupuna taught you out of fear that their ideals would not be fully accepted, which are the things that pit us against each other, from either side of the ocean, all over an ideal whose time has come to be a thing of the past? Can you bring yourselves past what is the egoʻs need for recognition, for accolades and accommodation of your own broken souls, to that place that is the healing reality of the Aloha Soul within you, and are you ready to say goodbye, yet, to the things that you are only thinking about now as being those things which broke your soul, again and again, during your small keed time?

Can you forgive YOU for hanging on to beliefs that, even when you were that tiny kid, you did not understand, because what you were told was “discipline” came with threats to your safety, and then after the leekenz, everyone seemed to gather around you and make fun of the fact that you did nothing wrong, but since it was that you were with the rest of the kids, you got leekenz, too? Can you stop the anger that is deep seated within you, and can you move forward, away from all that pain, think only of the thing that got you through it all, and realizing, through it all, that it was not your blood who helped you heal, but that it was the water that the blood seems to think is not as important as it is in its own thoughts and eyes?

If you have heard yourself telling anyone else that “blood is thicker than water,” then you have forgotten your place as part of Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai … you have forgotten your actual place as part of The People of The Water – #AllUsGuys…All Us Polys…who are, regardless of which set of islands you hail from, are also, like the Kanaka Maoli people, considered as being Ka Poʻe o Aloha – The People of Aloha? 

Can you?

Aloha is one of Our Core Values as a people – is it one of yours as a singular Maoli Soul, no matter where it is that you hail from? 

These questions are not easily answered, because each of us comes from a different place in so many ways but, the core thing that is similar is that we shattered the beliefs about birth order, about who is more worthy than who, about the Ego and how it is that it is what was lived by until a certain generation of parents came into being, the one the world calls “Generation X.”

I Am a part of this beautiful shattered wreck who the world knows as Gen-Xʻers, and I Am proud to be a parent of the Hawaiian Maoli sort, the kind who was lucky enough to have been raised to shatter, along with my generation of Maoli parents, the expectations that none of us tried to live up to but were expected to. We are who has brought to the world this gentler set of Maoli people…are the ones who have brought into being the culmination of both the People of the Water as also, no matter how the older generation and even part of the younger set among us X-ers, wants to believe.

We are that generation of parents, particularly us Moms, who decided, long before we were parents, that we would not be carrying on these abusive ways of being, no matter who chose to continue to chastise us for it. That much did not matter.

We did an awesome job, the collective of us Maoli Moms on the planet, in raising the vibration of what is needed through our kids…

We taught them to #LiveALOHA, and did so not only in how we live on #TheRockin9th as Mainland Maolis, but more, as Poly-Moms who could not allow it that our kids would have to cry over getting leekenz because Joonah Boy went shi shi on da dog and everyone laughed at it because it was funny.

Everyone has a Joonah Boy in the family… one thinks that maybe the reason Joonah Boy went shi shi on the dog was because Joonah Boyʻs tutu man went laugh at him when the fuckinʻ dog went shi shi on Joonah Boy.

No one tells anyone else about the other side of the story, and this is what my generation of Maoli Moms brought with us.

A Healthy balance the right that our kids, as thinking Beings, to be brave enough to have a clue and tell us about it. We have lived in fear of the less-than-good opinion of us by others, and always, typically those others would not even bother with us if they did not believe that there was some prize at the end.

That prize is usually the forced shame of other people….for whatever reason.

There is no good enough reason to harm people, at all, namely kid people.

Try think about it, yeah?






Aloha is My First Language…

arise spring 2017.jpg

It is our Kuleana to teach them how to Love

The last two weeks have been horrific for me.

There are some people who will read this and perhaps think to themselves “there she goes again, whining about herself when her mom is so sick” when really, it might not be that I am actually whining, and it is for sure not at all that I do not know how sick my mother really is, even though today she is better than she was yesterday.

What I Am talking about is the idea that Love, in any situation, has to be “tough.”

It doesnʻt have to be tough.

It is Love, not leather, and even though as a #Rockin9th island Maoli girl I KNOW the beauty of leather and love….in this instance, it is not the same.

While it might be that I will remain to be a Maoli girl with #MetalHornsUp for the rest of my head banginʻ days (yep – at the ripe old age of 48, I am still rockinʻ and rollinʻ….eh – no be jealous, yeah? You can do it too…anyone can play slack key Metallica???No…really..I Like know) it also means that one thing is for sure…

If I am this age and still love my metal horns up, what then will cause a person to think that I would not also grow in terms of being a loving soul whose intentions are what they need to be for the purpose of helping others get past what their egos want to the thing that is the realest thing of all…the Love within the soul of the Maolis around the world? 

Let it be well known now that those two words do not now, nor have they ever “gone” together…the words “constructive” and “criticism.”

Think about it…

You cannot have two things that are completely opposite each other in terms of energy be in the same place at the same time and more, in terms of emotional energetic response, it is impossible for ANY human to state that they can feel that anyone loves them when they are being “constructively criticized.” It does not happen that way because the bottom line truth is that most people have no IDEA how to actually and actively be constructive when offering useful advice about things, and most of the time that phrase is used to excuse the person giving the critique the …time to think of a gentle way to criticize when in reality, they can just be frikkin quiet about it and not offer their opinion about what makes THEM uncomfortable.

In my world and from what my experience has been throughout my 48 years on this planet and breathing…my experiences tell me that most people do not know what that means. They believe that it gives them the right to be an asshole, albeit a nice asshole (Of course, except my awesome speech professor who I will again be her student in the fall…hey Professor….I hope you are well…I will email you in a few…hereʻs one of my rambling blogs….everyone keep reading, please…)

The greatest thing that I have ever done for me was to recently choose, without much help other than the thing that happened a little over a week ago now, to no longer allow people in my life, or that of my kidsʻ lives, more people who will come and constructively criticize them. The world does enough of that already, and right now we are seeing it being played out online, on television, on the radio…everywhere.

Right now, kids are not even being considered but, at the same time, right now, we are in a massive Universal shift – it is far more than just the poles.

A Massive Shift in Consciousness….

It is time to be all the good Hawaiian, Samoan, Tongan, “everyone-else-island-too” that you can be right now.

The world needs us.

In that photograph up there, I am with a group of young Maoli people -they are my #Arise Ohana, the family who I am blessed with who is not my blood, who does not know my cousins or my Aunties or Uncles, and the family that knows …Auntie Rox is always going to Love you, and Auntie is watching you do your thing very well, and Auntie is right here for you, and most of all, Auntie is not going to tell you that you are wrong and make it hurt – I never have and I never will…I am only going to tell you how to do something better and more attuned with who you are. This specific Auntie is going to do everything that I can to never hurt or bring harm to you, and to lead you correctly back towards the Native Person who you are and might not realize that you are. This is my place in life…to lead people back to themselves, to teach them to lead themselves and most of all, to never ever forget that all of us were meant to speak the Language of Aloha…that we, as Ka Poʻe o Ka Wai… The People of The Water, have been placed in charge of this very special thing. 

They are the family who I got to choose.

I did a very, very good job.

They are my family, even as they are not my blood. That much does not matter.

What matters is that these are not my kids, but, they know, very well and hopefully all the way down into the bones of their Maoli souls…Auntie Loves You, All of You, and I Am here to teach you about who you are, from the Native place in your soul. I Am Here for You, and I Am always going to be. I Will not judge you for who you are and more, for what and who you are not, and I Will always tell you when you have done a good job and that you are able to climb higher than that….and yes, this Auntie will wait excitedly to hear how well you did, will not throw blows with you and no leekenz are ever going to be involved…just always all and only #Aloha…always and only #Love… because that is what I receive from all of You…all the time.

There is nothing quite more important in the lives of island people than our families. When it is that we have to go beyond those means to build what is ʻfamilyʻ, and we find that within the circle of blood and familial recognition that there is a rift in the seams, so to speak, the Universe always answers with the right people in place and the very ones who will be there for you endlessly, even when they donʻt know that they have been.

These beautiful Keiki…they do not realize this about themselves…that in their young hearts beat the rhythms of the islands from which each of them anciently hail and from each of those places within them are the evidence of the thing that broke them, all their lives, and the thing that scares them, still and all the while, the only thing that they needed, that we all need, and that they do not realize until right this moment that they have offered me, from day one…that thing is Unconditional Aloha…

As a scientist of the behavioral sort, this is something that we, as those geeks, wait for – evidence that our hunches were right.

Mine were right…

….kids are like ti leaf plants…

They need plenty of care, and once it is that they have grown accustomed to that caring, they become more strong and more beautiful, their inner beauty seen by the world …and like what they do for me, these plants, also is what these kids at my house who call me Mom and at my school who call me Auntie also give me…the care needed to grow into the human that I Am becoming, so that through that Human Being, I Am Able further to become what it is that I Am to Them, to a whole LOT of them…some of them even calling me Tia…and who spell the word Aloha with a “J” instead of an “H.”

Where it is that I believed that I was touching no oneʻs lives, where I believed I had no family to claim as mine, and believing that I Am the most…dented Hawaiian….that there is on this planet…along comes these beautiful souls…not just the ones who call me “Mom” or the one man on this planet who sometimes pisses me off in the most beautiful loving way and the one who calls me “Pineapple” and in whose deepest recesses of his soul I live…not the younger brother who has again come to my emotional rescue and has hlped deliver me from my own evil thoughts about myself, reminding me, alongside that man who calls me his girl, that I am the least evil person on this planet, that I am nowhere near anything or anyone evil in each of their own private and personal worlds…

…where I believed all of these awful things about who I Am, there were these..other motherʻs children who call me Auntie Rox who love me just exactly as I Am…

…dents and dings and tears and curse words and all. These people in this photo with me love their Hanai Auntie Rox….

Thatʻs me…I Am Auntie Rox, and I Love Being That to These Beautiful Beautiful Island Children.

I Love Them.
All of Them.

They are fully well aware of this much.

This is where My specific Science comes in and where I allow the ancient voice in me to speak through the scientist, through the person in the lives of young people who is meant to be there for them on some level because that is where I Am in the lives of most people who know me well enough to also know how much they each mean to me

Where these people in this photograph are concerned, they do not need to share DNA, a Grandma, a crazy Auntie who will geeve leekenz because I have become the …kolohe Auntie who, I hope, for real, represents what it is that they are, too, which is a group of people who were meant to change the world by changing their own personal world, and by living from that place within them that tells them to never ever forget who they are in terms of where it is that their ancient selves hail from.

Mine hail from the open ocean, from navigating the wide, violent yet mysteriously beautiful Pacific ocean which borders everything that we each and all are….the sun, the moon, the stars in the skies at night.

We are the birds overhead as they call towards the land, and we are the ocean…the open ocean which simultaneously physically limits and beckons us each to a place in the past where we can hear our hearts beating like that of a native drum. The very all of us, all together as one, never minding the island and which one we came from, and only knowing, for real and for sure, that we are that thing that most people fight to have, and lots of people fight to not fight over, and that most people destroy, all for the sake of being something that they feel is more important than preserving the thing that families are meant to be built up with and on top of a foundation created of nothing more than the very purest of that thing called Aloha….even if your lineage makes it possible that you explain your Aloha with a “J” 

Me and all …ALL MY KEIKIS…even my Hanai ones….we speak the Language called Aloha FLUENTLY…

It is not a secret that I Am a very proud Mainland Maoli woman. My children, even as they are half white, were raised ALL KANAKA, and they do not know that they are anything OTHER than Hawaiian.

They have me and their grandmother, the woman in the hospital, to thank for that much.

My mom set out to do the thing that I did, and I know that she is successful at it, because I was successful at it – I have raised my children to live in and as the Light of Aloha, to speak the Language of Love fluently, to not judge others for not being like them. I have taught them to be kind, and to see what is the same about themselves that is like anyone else and to follow the lead of their heart, because that is where the Aloha is from – within.

I have taught them to be the best Hawaiian people that they can be, to be the best level human being that they can be, every day of their young lives, and to take no oneʻs shit when those others do not know what they are talking about.

I find it hard to look around me lately to see through to the Love that I Am being told is there, at least from parts of the family which I share DNA with. The only place that that Love exists is in the energies that are shared between like souls and like individuals. We cannot any further force our kids to “show love” to people who creep them out. Just because we, as these parents and adults and leaders in the lives of the young, and just because we want to trust that others have our best interests at heart, we have to ask ourselves, right in that moment, if what it is that we are being asked is to perpetuate what is actually abuse that is generational, and not what we have been told all of our lives it is, which is that shit called “tough love.”

Telling your kids that they have to show love to people they donʻt trust and who we, ourselves as their parents, do not trust more is abuse. Stop it already. You are hurting your kids, are hurting the future. They know who they love and who they can trust.

Stop forcing them to love people they do not trust, and stop telling them that they HAVE TO show this love to people that they do not know. Stop making them think that because they do not agree with you that they are being bad kids – this is what I grew up thinking about myself, that I was bad, all because I was different and had those things which not a lot of people have – they are called original thoughts.

And yeah, you folks…it is actually time that you started to create your own family customs and stop perpetuating the controlling ways of YOUR parents and YOUR grandparents. If you want to do that, then please refrain from trying to enforce that on my kids. They know better than you give them credit for. They know what is and what is not Love. They are better at loving others than anyone they know, are, and they DO NOT fail me in that manner. They know, with their hearts and their Maoli souls and selves what is and what is NOT Aloha. They know Aloha. They do not know what it is not. Stop impressing upon them what they do not recognize as their truths and what it is that they know as Love. They do not know anything other than the truth of Love as I have presented it to them all of their lives and they do not recognize any reasons as to what is NOT love that others keep telling them is “tough” love – they do not know what that is.

Please stop showing it to them.

They think you hate them.  

So, to those who love me as I Am, I must take this moment to thank you for helping me come to the conclusion that family is not always blood, is not always going to care what you are going through because they already have their minds made up. This is okay with me because anymore now I find that it is the way that I find out who actually loves me, and who wants to still place me and now my kids in their control through emotional means. 

I might become the most hated Hawaiian in my own culture once it is that people read that I know I am not alone in the idea that the time has come to stop the belittling of our children, time to stop with the handing down of the bad family habits and outdated expectations through family “things” that cause some members to never ever be anything good in the eyes of those people who we share DNA and grandparents with – it is time to stop playing favorites, to stop bullying each other for the sake of family ways of being that just perpetuate the emotional violence.

We, as a people, in terms of the very all of us…but PRIMARILY HAWAIIAN PEOPLE…yeah I said it so deal with itwe HAVE GOT TO START EMPLOYING OUR OWN MEANS OF KEEPING OUR CHILDREN SAFE, not just from creepy family members with stinky beer breath and a floating eyeball, but, from the ways of being that dented and damaged an entire generation of Hawaiians who are now raising their brood with people who same said brood do not share DNA with.

It has come to this point where it is that the old is trying to not even let the new become what it ought to be. It is going to happen anyway because Hawaiians like me who have kids like mine who want to preserve the culture and NOT THE BAD HABITS that are collective and “normal” in terms of the way that families in my culture have treated each other are now raising the future generations of Hawaiians and WE ARE TELLING YOU ALL TO KNOCK THIS CRAP OFF!

It is deplorable and it has to stop.

The name calling and the threats of leekenz, the belittling of what people think of themselves and the bullying of a collective of children who are being raised by mothers who, collectively, went through what we are each and all watching and no longer allowing, by anyone, no matter who you are or who you think you are, people to perpetuate everything that is in the DNA, that is chosen and that is enforced. This is the old way. You are employing the old to apply to the new and the new is just not taking it lying down…so you choose to push them down.

We are not letting you do this anymore, to our kids, and you are now making it appear that we are evil and unable to do things without your approval.

You are, if this is your method of employ and this is how you get your way…you are not better than anyone else and for your information, you are perpetuating the thing that you say does not exist. The reason that it does not exist to folks like you is because you are too busy bullying kids into loving your tendencies to not kick their asses or take away their sense of security and who they are in your life according to you. If all they are to you are people who you get to bully because that is what you were when you were a child, and now you expect my children to not defend themselves, you have another thing coming.

I taught them that defend themselves and now, there are at least two of you, both extended members of the DNA chain, who they KNOW are NOT family…just merely people who they share DNA with, but certainly NOT the old and abusive tendencies you want ME to remain to adhere to. Everyone knows that in order for abuse to occur, there has to be a victim and I refuse to let anyone else ever victimize me or my kids – any kids – ever, ever again, for any reason, but specifically for the reasons of proving a sick and detested point – that adults are more right than the kids who we used to be.

This is correct – we are NOT THOSE kids anymore, and you do not get to do to us what you did all of our lives and no…no no no you DO NOT get to use OTHER PEOPLE to carry out your ugliness. It just does not work that way and we see right through your bullshit.

And make no mistake – this is bullshit.

All of it.

If you can victimize a whole family and not look at them with at least the tiniest bit of concern for the safety of children, including the emotional safety..then I must thank you, all of you for doing the thing that I cannot, which is show them, through my own example, what is and what is not abuse, what is and what is not family.

What is, and most importantly above all else…what is NOT Aloha.

In MY family, it does not matter what languages you speak for real. We speak Aloha fluently in my family.

…yeah…I taught em…all of ʻem….

…even the ones who spell Aloha with a “J” instead of an “H”

It is our Kuleana, guys, to give to the future what it is that we have learned from the past and bring it to the Now. My Now is rife with beauty, even as it is also rife with Pain.

Knowing how to speak the language of Aloha is the Medicine, and I Am the Kahuna who delivers it every single day of my life.

And I have the people in the picture, along with the people in my house, who prove this much to me every day of my life….

This is what we do, #AllUsGuys….

We Speak Aloha, fluently….please learn your language.

You are needed.